A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've recently started dating this girl. She's really nice, I get along with her really well. But there's a slight age difference.I'm 22 (23 soon), she's recently turned 30.I've only told a few of my friends about her (we've only been on a handful of dates so far so I don't want to get overly excited about it). A couple of them are fairly laid back and didn't care about the age gap, but then two of my closest friends just think its bizzare. They think there must be something wrong with me to not want to go for a younger girl my age, and that there must be something odd with her if she's wanting to spend time with someone nearly a decade younger than her.Is this age difference really that serious? My mum knows I'm dating someone as well, and she knows that she's a couple of years older than me, but not exactly how much. I'm not quite sure how to break this to my family now seeing some of my friends reactions.Is this age difference something to really be embarassed about? We go out and have a great time together and have a lot to talk about, I don't even think about the age gap when we're together. It's just when people start to openly judge me that I start to think about it. Any advice would be really helpful! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2012): I am in a relationship with a guy 10 years younger and i never thought i could have anything in common with a younger guy but we have so much in commen. He always says that his past girlfriends always wanted to fight and they never understood him.Don't get me wrong we sometimes argue but, we always know that we love each other.He is a blue collar worker and i am a white collar but, i always tell him that he is my rock. We are planning on moving together this coming summer and we both are so excited.He is in the music industry and he always says that i am the first girlfriend that understands and doesn't ever make him choose between two things he loves.The main thing that a relationship has to have something in common.I never thought i would ever be in love with someone younger than me but, no one knows who you will fall in love with.
A
female
reader, Stayc63088  +, writes (3 October 2012):
 My sister is 29 going on 30 and dating a man younger than my youngest sister, he's 21 maybe 22 now. At first we all thought it was weird and kinda gross. Probably compounded by the fact that he's younger than the youngest of all of us. I figured she was desperate. They have been together now for over a year so we are all just used to it and think nothing of it anymore. I'm sure it'll pass for your friends too once they get used to it.
My sister has always been pretty immature so it seems like his young age fit her. You can't picture her having kids or being married so it suited her. I married a man with the same age difference, I'm 24 and he is 31 soon to be 32. Our levels of maturity suited each other. So as long as you like each other go for it. People may balk at first but they will get used to it in time. You can't control how other people will judge or feel so just worry about how you feel.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (3 October 2012):
 How izzit that "...people start to openly judge me..."????
WHO and HOW is this "judgement" being made available to you????? WHY do you give a darn about those who are "openly judging" you????? HOW did they get in to your life... and close enough to "openly judge you?" WHY would you spend another MINUTE with such people??????
Cripes.... count your blessings....
P.S. "Older" women are delightful because they appreciate us young guys!!!!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (3 October 2012):
 Well when my fiancé was 22 I was 35. Of course what he wanted at 22 was not what he wants now at 39… so we never would have worked out then..
Now I am 52 and I LOOK every inch of 52 and my fiance is 39 and looks about 25....
With respect to Serpico he makes men sound so shallow as to believe that the ONLY thing that draws you to this woman is her looks... and should they begin to fade you will lose interest... seems a pretty shallow dim view on the male gender and I find it shocking that more men on this site don't find it offensive.
6/7 years once you are past 21 is not often a big issue as long as both parties are mature.
6/7 is not nearly a decade.. one of my best friends is 20 years younger than I am. Her daughter is being taught to call me grandma…. Age is a number after a certain point.
Just ignore the naysayers…
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2012): It's totally fine. Whoever wrote that 30 is OLD and past the flower of her age, I have to LAUGH!! You must be 18. Thirty is so so young still. Yes its more mature than 21, but you're still the same person you were before. Just a little wiser.
I truly don't see anything wrong with your age gap. HOWEVER, you have to be very aware and unselfish in your dating timeline. If you do not love her or do not see marriage, do her a favor and tell her. She is 30 and doesn't need to waste her time.
Most likely she would like to have children. Be prepared for a much faster dating time frame - are you prepared for marriage and kids within 4 year? These are things you might not have to think about if you were dating someone your age. Just a thought.
Also, eventually age catches up to all of us. By 33 you'll be young and handsome and she will be a little older looking. Would that be okay?
My now husband and I went away on a pre-marital marriage retreat (he's 9 years older than me) and met a couple where the guy was 27 and she was 36. You would never have known because she looked so small and young. I guess he had no issues with it because they were getting married.
All the best.
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male
reader, Serpico +, writes (3 October 2012):
At your age, its not that big of a deal. But your 6-7 year age gap is really a 7-8 year age gap from what you say. The problems from a woman being significantly older than a man typically manifest themselves later in the relationship. To be blunt, in general, as a woman ages, her looks often decline and consequently her desirability. Conversely, as a man ages his net worth / purchasing power often increases, leading to an increase in his relative desirability. To your case, in 20 years, your GF will be 50, and you will be 42. If you have anything on the ball, at that age you would easily be able to attract a woman in the 27-30 year old range. That is why it becomes a bigger deal as time goes on....
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (3 October 2012):
 When both people are over 20 I don't see a problem with it. In cases where one is a teenager I think it is creepy and disturbing, unless there's only 2-3 years age difference.
You're both over 20, so you're both adults. Nothing weird about it. But your friends probably think it is unusual, because they haven't seen such a relationship before.
People are always going to pass judgement when they don't know enough about something. Doesn't matter what it is, as long as it is something they consider out of the norm, something they areb't used to, they'll always comment on it. You just need to learn to not care about what people say and go with what YOU want.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2012): Put this to perspective. When you were born, she was a 6 year old preschooler. When you turned 6 in pre-school she was one year away of becoming a teenager. When you, were 12, she was eligable to drink, drive, AND in the consenting age for sex (though she could've lost her virginity at 16 which around that time you still played with toys). When you turned 18, she's already in her mid 20's and very experienced with men. Four years later, and you are begining the journey towards manliness while she at 30 has past the flower of her age. Don't waste your time brother. She had the opportunity to be married when she was young and fresh in her late teens AND early 20's. What was she doing then? If she was serious about her life, she would be a mother by now instead of being old, single and chasing men young enough to be their baby brothers or nephews. You are not doing justice to yourself as a man by involving yourself with her. Also, you are not helping her mature. By dating you, she thinks that she's still young, which she is not. She's too old for you. Women her age have needs which guys your age cannot meet. Besides its not natural for younger men to be attracted to older women. I have yet to see, young guys in their late teens to 20's hitting on 50 to 70 year old women YUCK!
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male
reader, kenny  +, writes (3 October 2012):
 At the end of the day age is nothing but a number, as long as it falls within the laws of consent, which in this case it does. I think the feelings a couple share for one another far supersedes the amount of years between them. If you like her, and she likes you then go for it. its only a 7 year gap, people make relationships work with far greater age differences than this.
Good luck
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