A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:About a year ago I started uni and met a whole lot of new people, I got in an awesome friend group and everything was good. One of the guys from the group was a bit of a slag and hooked up with tonnes of girls, but he was still a great guy. After the first 6 months he unfortunately had to change schools because of moving and some family issues. 2 weeks before he was moving he started flirting with me, and one drunken night we made out. This happened on 2 other occasions and his last night in town we ended up sleeping together. Probably not smart as you should never hook up with friends. Anyhow, I wasn’t expecting anything to come of it as I wouldn’t be seeing him for a long long time since he was moving to the other coast, and I was fine with just being another one of his hook-ups. However! Since he has left he has texted me almost every day, sharing thoughts about his future (career ambitions, marriage, kids), information about his past, and also a bit of flirting and talking about the times we hooked up. We have become a lot closer after he left than we were while he was at school. He is coming back to visit in 2 months and I am not sure how to behave around him. We will undoubtedly hookup again, but is he interested in more than just friends with benefits?
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ambition, drunk, flirt, friend with benefits, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Serpico +, writes (3 October 2012):
For a guy a FWB is much much more likely to revert to "friend" than "girl friend." In the interim though, he will try to maintain the FWB as long as possible....
A
female
reader, Agneta  +, writes (1 October 2012):
 Hmm, he obviously like to be somewhat close to you since he talks about such personal things. But what his intentions might be is hard to tell from this. Since you did hang around as friends a bit even before, he might have developed a feeling of closeness that way and it doesn't mean he wants to be in a serious love relationship. Just mirror the good things you get out of having hooked up this hot guy and see what happens. When you meet again in 2 months, you can explore more closely how you feel about it all, and see how he acts once back in town. And in the meanwhile, feel free to hook up other guys if you feel like it. Or even fall in love if somebody Mr Right would happen to pass by anyway.
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A
female
reader, Atsweet1 +, writes (30 September 2012):
 If he does want more like commitment and future goals with you it doesnt matter really. You don't want that so he will just be a friend with a sexual benefit. If he knows that you don't want more he may be cool with that or move on to someone who does.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (30 September 2012):
 "I was fine with just being another one of his hook-ups. "
Correction *he was one of YOUR hook-ups.
Do YOU want more than a random hook-up? No? Then tell him so and stop flirting with him or leading him on. Want more? Then tell him so and stop sleeping with him unless you're in an official relationship.
In either case, having sex with him isn't what you should be doing it seems. Unless you just want a random hook-up guy/friend/FWB that you don't really know how to act around.
Woman, you're an adult now, and you live in 2012. Why are you waiting for the guy to make up your mind about this? Who cares what HE wants, make up your mind on your own. Then hear if he's game or not. Simple and easy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI think you’re right, calms me down a bit :) He just seemed awfully emotionally invested all of a sudden, and I am so not looking for a relationship.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2012): "but is he interested in more than just friends with benefits?"
See this: "One of the guys from the group was a bit of a slag and hooked up with tonnes of girls"
He's simply keeping you sweet so in two months your legs will open again. Plus you're something to do while he makes friends and finds other girls to hook up with.
Now a relationship can't happen because he's moved away and you're definitely going to shag him again, so that's all it is. Don't get your hopes up OP, there is nothing to suggest he likes you as anything but an "easy" friend. He has you on a plate so he's just going to enjoy you, not his problem if you get feelings and seeing as he probably knows full well a relationship and is also a man whore who knows how to play the game you're better off not emotionally investing because you'll just get hurt.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (30 September 2012):
There's not enough that's happened to really tell. Most likely not...if he's moved to "the other coast" that implies he moved clear across the country and 4,000 miles is quite a bit of a distance for a relationship. He probably considers you a good friend and he may like you and think you're a great person, but still not want a relationship.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (30 September 2012):
 I doubt it....
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