A
female
age
36-40,
*ains
writes:I have this friend who likes to joke around and call me a lesbian. I have asked a numbers of times not to call me a lesbian and he keeps saying, "oh lighten up i am only Joking". I have told him please stop it. he always says "I am Joking". Yet when I tried to turn the tables and called him gay he said "f... you you B...." I tell him how i feel about and he knows I am not a lesbian. he always jokes around saying that he is going to put it on facebook saying "hi I am so and so and my true calling is I am a lesbian and I am only saying I like men for a cover up. I really like women and I like to shower with women"I told him if he does that i have him charged and he said that they can't do anything cause it's the truth so I cant be charged for. I said you have to have proof and he the only poor I need what I will say. I am so temped to block him or go to his work about it. but if I do that he says that he will write it on my wall and say it's true. so it's okay for to me call me a gay but when I do it to him he gets all huffy and puffy. the thing is I don't want to end the friendship cause he will go around town people that I am lesbian when he knows I am not.
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female
reader, Stayc63088  +, writes (3 October 2012):
 At your age you shouldn't care I'd he does "go around town calling me a lesbian." unless the age range is wrong, 26-29, this is a non issue. You know what I would say if a man came up and told me "that girl's a lesbian! She likes showering with other girls!" I would ask if we are back in high school and suggest maybe he should grow up.... Which is probably the response he would get by acting that way about town, unless he visited a high school. You have nothing to worry about, people will see him for exactly what he is if he were to go about spreading rumors, an immature child.
So block him from fb and ignore him. If he posts something on his wall you won't know about it. And he can't post anything on yours if he is blocked. You aren't a lesbian so you have nothing to be hurt or offended by. See him for what he is, which isn't a friend. And I'd have to say I thought the same thing anonymous pointed out, that he may be teasing you because he likes you. But he certainly isn't the type you should go for trying to date so get him out of your life. In the future when someone acts like this ignore them. They are so immature they get riled up when they see it affects you. All that needs to be said is- grow up.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (3 October 2012):
 You do realize this guy is NOT a friend. A FRIEND would respect your wishes.
To be honest you sound about 16. Just cut the jerk off. Block him on facebook and don’t take his calls or texts.
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A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (3 October 2012):
If I were you, the next time he called me a lesbian, I would say, "F*** you, B****!" (just like he said to you when you tried to turn the tables.)
Then, I would ignore him, block him, and not talk to him again unless he apologized for being a persistently annoying little man-child.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 October 2012):
 How old is he? 12? Why do you even spend time with this idiot?
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (3 October 2012):
 What a jerk! This guy is no friend, he's an idiot who thinks its funny to joke about such things. Block him from Facebook, don't respond to what he says and stop talking to him completely. It doesn't matter what he says to anyone because you know what the truth is. Let him say what he wants, to whoever he wants, DO NOT be afraid of him. He is a bully and he's only scaring you because he knows it upsets you. If he doesnt get a reaction out of you, then he is bound to stop sometime. I'm surprised he has nothing better to do!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2012): Your age range is 26-29...which means you are old enough to know not to get all riled up over someone's immaturity like this. it's surprisingly close to a ten year old going to mom because her big brother keeps teasing her...One thing you have to know is that some people will want to get a rise out of you. They want you to get annoyed. Don't give him the satisfaction. Just shrug it off, as hard as it may be, especially when you both know it irritates you, shrug it off. He's like a bear; play dead long enough and he'll get bored and move on.And lastly, he's a friend. And a guy that...they like to tease their friends, you're the one taking this too seriously and way out of proportion. blocking him and ignoring him will just be your female way of being childish. Do you really want to lose a friend over teasing?Besides i don't think this is a homosexual issue at all, he just likes to tease you.And who knows, he could be the guy that pushes down the girl on the playground and pulls on her hair because he secretly likes her. Wouldn't it be easier to ease his fear of rejection with the idea that you might be gay, then to know he wouldn't get a chance if you weren't?
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (3 October 2012):
 He doesn't sound like much of a friend. Maybe it's time you stop hanging out with him.
"I told him if he does that i have him charged and he said that they can't do anything cause it's the truth so I cant be charged for. " Yes, he can be charged for it. It is called harrassment. Online bullying is just as serious as real life bullying, and is usually taken seriously by the authorities. If you go to the same school together, for example, he could get expelled.
"but if I do that he says that he will write it on my wall and say it's true."
If you block him he can't write on your wall. And so what if he did? Easy as pie to delete the comment. And you don't NEED facebook, you can delete your profile. Better that than to be bullied by this "friend".
Delete him, block him, report the harrassment to his boss. There is no friendship. So what if he goes around town spreading rumours, you are an adult. Not a teenager who's entire existence depends on a high school rumor. Rumors don't matter, and grown up adults do not listen to rumors. All they will see is a childish man who is trying to make himself look cool by pulling others down. No one will want to be his friend.
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