| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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How do I make it clear to women that I am NOT interested in dating right now?
Q. I'm scarred by a bad breakup. Now, I have a NASTY impression of the dating world. I have 2 questions. First, how do I give the signal to girls in general, that I'm NOT in the mood to date, so that they can look for someone that'll actually be ...
A. 21 October 2012: Are you looking for a date? Because it sounds as if you are actively looking. If you aren't interested in dating anyone right now then why use any time or energy in interpreting whether someone likes you that way or not... ... (read in full...)
How do I make it clear to women that I am NOT interested in dating right now?
Q. I'm scarred by a bad breakup. Now, I have a NASTY impression of the dating world. I have 2 questions. First, how do I give the signal to girls in general, that I'm NOT in the mood to date, so that they can look for someone that'll actually be ...
A. 21 October 2012: Why care? If she falls for you then that's her problem, not yours. You aren't responsible for how people feel, or if people are attracted to you. If she ever comes on to you directly, or if someone ever asks you out, just say no thanks.
As fo... (read in full...)
How do I make it clear to women that I am NOT interested in dating right now?
Q. I'm scarred by a bad breakup. Now, I have a NASTY impression of the dating world. I have 2 questions. First, how do I give the signal to girls in general, that I'm NOT in the mood to date, so that they can look for someone that'll actually be ...
A. 21 October 2012: Then the obvious thing to do is stop accepting cookies...? ... (read in full...)
My very serious boyfriend has a 4 year old daughter he never told me about...
Q. Ive been dating my current boyfriend for 10 months now. Although ive had a couple of boyfriends in the past, this is the first time that I know ive fallen in love (im 23, boyfriend is 26). A couple of months into our relationship, my...
A. 28 September 2012: To answer your last question though:
You being so concerned and worried about this, and experiencing this moral dilemma, is because you do love him. If you didn't love him you wouldn't care much, really. But you love the idea you had of him, and... (read in full...)
My very serious boyfriend has a 4 year old daughter he never told me about...
Q. Ive been dating my current boyfriend for 10 months now. Although ive had a couple of boyfriends in the past, this is the first time that I know ive fallen in love (im 23, boyfriend is 26). A couple of months into our relationship, my...
A. 28 September 2012: "He says he didnt tell me because our relationship was magical"
In oher words: your relationship wasn't real, he didn't take your seriously, and you had no future.
There's no excuse, he's been pretending to be something he isn't, keeping t... (read in full...)
Does the love for a previous partner fade away in time, or is there always something there?
Q. This question is directed mainly at the guys, but ladies please feel free to answer too :) My current boyfriend is my first for everything, and hopefully he'll be my last! We're a long distance couple, have been together for two years now and I ...
A. 28 September 2012: I think it fades away. I guess it depends on the person though, some keep a burning candle for ages, others move on faster. Some people linger longer, some disappear fast as well.
Love isn't something ever lasting. Without nutrition it fades. W... (read in full...)
I need a way of telling my boyfriend that I want exclusivity and a serious relationship without him feeling like he has to give up his freedom
Q. I have been seeing this guy for about 5 weeks and one week ago we had a talk about where our relationship was going. He said he "cant commit" until college finishes up in one or so months because everything is so busy etc. and asked me what I would ...
A. 28 September 2012: You're sleeping with him, that's what I got from this. Am I right?
No sex before you're in an official relationship. That's the by far easiest way to avoid all problems. If he's not ready to committ, then why should you, and why would you be h... (read in full...)
I feel jealous of the man whom my partner has chosen to be our baby donor
Q. I am a lesbian who has been in a relationship for 7 months with a woman. Her best friend is a male, whom in the past, has declared he was in love with her! Nothing ever evenyuated and they remain extremely close. In the future she want's him to be ...
A. 28 September 2012: Are you saying she's not happy when she's with you, or that she's happier with him than with you?
Your girlfriend is a lesbian, right? In what way then can she be happier with this man, than she is with you? Sure, she can be happy, but there is... (read in full...)
I think I've found the one. What should I do next?
Q. I think i have finally found my soulmate. I do a class at my gym, been doing it for about a year now. Our instructor arranged a fitness holiday in july to Turkey. On the holiday i got really friendly with girl from our class and we really hit it o...
A. 27 September 2012: You don't seem to really know her well, nor does she know you. So my advice to you is to not rely too much on the "soulmate" idea of this relationship. Don't glorify her, she's probably not pre-destined to be with you. If she was, then there'd be no ... (read in full...)
Why does he get an iPad? It's not fair!
Q. Today I came home from school and found my little brother with a brand-new iPad. I am so freakin jealous of him! My parents said its only "because he needs a certain app for social skills." (he has aspergers so he needs help) I still don't ...
A. 26 September 2012: " All I have is an iPod touch 1st generation that really sucks."
When I was your age I spent my own money on buying one of the crappy first cell phones you got on the market. Then when I could afford it, I went and bought myself a newer Nokia ph... (read in full...)
I always think about my ex's in my relationships and I can never be satisfied with the present, and its stopping me from falling in love! What is wrong with me?
Q. I don't know what's wrong with me, but please help me out! When I start dating a new guy, I always think about my exes and I don't feel happy because I'm thinking of/comparing him to the previous guy. It's like I can never be satisfied with the ...
A. 26 September 2012: "And he said he's willing to wait for me to love him but what if I never do?!" Then that's his problem. If he wants to wait, and you enjoy his company despite not loving him (yet), why rush? Out of pity? A relationship shouldn't be betwee... (read in full...)
I always think about my ex's in my relationships and I can never be satisfied with the present, and its stopping me from falling in love! What is wrong with me?
Q. I don't know what's wrong with me, but please help me out! When I start dating a new guy, I always think about my exes and I don't feel happy because I'm thinking of/comparing him to the previous guy. It's like I can never be satisfied with the ...
A. 26 September 2012: You're 18-21. How many past exes do you have? Were you serious about any of them? I'm going to assume things here, simply because there isn't much information on this to go on. I assume that based on your age, you can't have had many exes, nor any ... (read in full...)
What is everyone's take on your boy/girlfriend being friends with their ex's?
Q. So I've got a very basic question and would appreciate all the feedback I can get. I've been seeing my girlfriend for 3 months now, and minus a few bumps in the road here and there, we have a very stable, healthy relationship and a lot of trust in ...
A. 25 September 2012: You can't ask, or demand, that somene be okay with something. They either are or aren't. You can secretly wish for one or the other, but at the end of the day your girlfriend either is okay with it or she isn't. It's not like you can ask her to be ... (read in full...)
What do I say when people ask "why don't you have a girlfriend"?
Q. I tend to get asked this every now and then, and I just can't help but feel down and frustrated when they ask why I don't have a girlfriend. One, and pretty much the main, reason is that I just haven't bothered. Don't get me wrong, having a ...
A. 25 September 2012: "Three (combination of 1 and 2), I had to deal with keeping my feelings to myself for a girl I really liked because I knew I would be moving in a year." This really puzzles me. You had an entire year that you could have spent with her, and instead... (read in full...)
Why wont men try and be friends with women they are not attracted to?
Q. I saw a question on here that made me think, and made me want to ask one of my own. Why is it that women will try to be friends with men who they aren't attracted to, but men won't try to be friends with women they aren't attracted to? I know this ...
A. 25 September 2012: "Why is it that women will try to be friends with men who they aren't attracted to, but men won't try to be friends with women they aren't attracted to?"
Because some women can be quite gullible and think "oh, he's just a friend", when instead ... (read in full...)
I saw a picture he had drawn for an ex and it hurt me, how do I feel more secure about the past?
Q. Me and my boyfriend use online art sites because we both love drawing and makings things and both of us have online galleries where we share our art with friends. I was looking through my boyfriends gallery and looked at a piece that was from 6 ...
A. 25 September 2012: Whats there to be upset about? Really? Are you upset that he's cared about someone before he cared about you? I don't believe you are so selfish you can't accept that a man can have had feelings for someone else before you.
The thing that mos... (read in full...)
I have been told that guys won't bother to try to spend time with a girl as only a "friend".
Q. It's the age old question: Does he like me as more than a friend? Simply put: A coworker continues to invite me to lunch. He is from another country so he is hard to read. I feel like he is just trying to make friends, or he is being polite by ...
A. 25 September 2012: The jury is still out on whether guys and girls can be friends. But lets look at it from the perspective that they can't, and that guys only want to spend time with a girl if they can flirt with her and possibly have a romance with her. Which in my ... (read in full...)
Is it ok for a friend to sleep with your FWB?
Q. My very close friend slept with a fwb of mine and has not come out and told me herself. I am so hurt by this, but other people who I have spoken to don’t understand why I should be as bothered as he is only a FWB and therefore he doesn’t mean ...
A. 25 September 2012: I have to ecco the anonymous poster after my original post. I wouldn't sleep with a man a friend of mine has been sleeping with. There would have to be some special circumstance if that was to happen. Even if my friend just had a FWB arrangement, If ... (read in full...)
Is there such a thing as true love? Does it exist?
Q. Hi. So i got a real quick question to ask. Does true love really exist? or is it just what people create when they are in public in order to hide their problems? I mean ive never experienced true love myself neither do my parents. They are always on ...
A. 24 September 2012: True love does exist, but I think you are confusing love with harmony. There can be lots of true love, and yet people have arguments and fights. Just the same, there can be couples who never fight, but that doesn't mean they love each other.
... (read in full...)
Is it ok for a friend to sleep with your FWB?
Q. My very close friend slept with a fwb of mine and has not come out and told me herself. I am so hurt by this, but other people who I have spoken to don’t understand why I should be as bothered as he is only a FWB and therefore he doesn’t mean ...
A. 24 September 2012: Officially your friend didn't really cross any boundaries. He is just a FWB. You're not serious about him. Then again, women are extremely territorial. So unofficially, and in the female version of the bro-code: yes, she crossed a line. He was ... (read in full...)
Is it possible that my virgin girlfriend was assexual?
Q. Is this possible for my girlfriend to have been an asexual, she hasn't had sex yet and I asked her why that is (just curious why people don't) and she said she never felt that attraction to have sex with anyone until she came to university. She said ...
A. 24 September 2012: She never was an asexual. She was just a late bloomer, like the previous poster said. When people are young they don't really feel sexual you know.. that's something that comes with maturing. Teenage boys think waaaaay more about sex than teenage ... (read in full...)
These two girls are using me for my popularity
Q. I'm so confused right now. I don't know if they're friends or not. After I joined like, a zillion clubs,these two girls come and I genuinely liked them, and we start being all buddy buddy. They liked the same stuff that I do and I was impressed ...
A. 24 September 2012: Next time they come to cling on you walk away. That's the best advice I can give you on this. They wont take a hint, so the only thing left to do is to take action. Or of they say "she's my best friend" then speak up and say "we're not friends, I ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend warms my heart and she's possibly the coolest girl ever, but there's this lingering "what if" about the other girl who I've had a crush on
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for 2 years. She is pretty amazing. We had a bit of a rocky start, but things have smoothed out and we have a lot of fun together now. My problem is that there is a girl I've known for many years, an old friend at...
A. 24 September 2012: *crush, not cruch... (read in full...)
My girlfriend warms my heart and she's possibly the coolest girl ever, but there's this lingering "what if" about the other girl who I've had a crush on
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for 2 years. She is pretty amazing. We had a bit of a rocky start, but things have smoothed out and we have a lot of fun together now. My problem is that there is a girl I've known for many years, an old friend at...
A. 24 September 2012: If you tell your friend about your feelings for her (whatever feelings that might be since you just say you have a crush on her), then you need to be single. There's absolutely NO honour in a man who sneaks behind his girlfriends back to test his ... (read in full...)
How can I convince my parents that not getting another dog is the right choice for me?
Q. My rat terrier is 15 years old and I got him when I was 12 years old. It was great having a dog growing up but after he dies, I do not want another dog. My problem is my parents are making a big deal about me not getting another dog after he die...
A. 24 September 2012: Just be firm with them like you have been, and IGNORE them if they keep going at it. Don't pay them any attention. Deliberately ignore it, change the topic etc. You give one warning if they start talking about it, and that's it. Just one warning. ... (read in full...)
My long distance boyfriend asked me to share my naked pic, I refused to share and now he is sad. Should I send him my naked pic?
Q. I'm in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend. We both are of same age, 16 years old. He is Australian and I'm Indian. We met 2 months ago on facebook and he proposed me after 1 month. I love him a lot. I strictly follow what our holy book ...
A. 23 September 2012: You've only been together two months and he is asking you to get NAKED and take pictures of you and send to him so he can masturbate to them. He might also possibly be lying to you like your ex was, you need to get to know him a lot better before ... (read in full...)
How do I make it clear to women that I am NOT interested in dating right now?
Q. I'm scarred by a bad breakup. Now, I have a NASTY impression of the dating world. I have 2 questions. First, how do I give the signal to girls in general, that I'm NOT in the mood to date, so that they can look for someone that'll actually be ...
A. 23 September 2012: "I'm worried that they may take a good look at me, consider me a potential mate, and ask me out/invite me to their place."
IF they ask you out/invite you. So far it doesn't sound like this has happened. And girls rarely make the first move any... (read in full...)
Who can I show my boyfriend in a special way that I'm ready to have sex?
Q. I have a very important query for you all. I'm 17, and have been with my boyfriend for almost four years. I have a feeling I will be with him for a great deal more. He was 18 yesterday, and I am 18 on Wednesday next week. When we first got together...
A. 22 September 2012: Don't say that the first time wont feel great physically, but you need to do things that you actually enjoy. Sex isn't just pumping in and out, which most inexperienced people seem to believe. Sex is also kissing, touching, making each other feel ... (read in full...)
Truly love my wife, only been with her, want to try another woman though.
Q. Hello there, I married my high school sweetheart. We have been together for near 15 years, married only about 5 years. We had kids "really" young. I have only ever slept with her and she has only ever slept with me 100% fact. So in technical ter...
A. 20 September 2012: You assume a lot. You think your wife would be okay with you cheating? I doubt it. You think she wants to sleep with someone else as well? I doubt it. Sure, you've had some laughs about it, but you never had the seriosu debate.
If you and her ... (read in full...)
I'm worried that my boyfriend of 2.5 years is gay
Q. I'm worried that my boyfriend may be gay. We have been together for 2.5 years. The first time he took me to his house, I thought it was odd that he had 2 teddy bears on his bed, and a large image of scooby doo in his living room. In addition, He is ...
A. 20 September 2012: Teddy bears are not an indication of homosexuality. Why would you think so? If anything it shows a childish behaviour, or nostalgic personality.
Mens rectums are more sensitive than womens, they get more pleasure out of anal play than women do... (read in full...)
Is a woman being objectified in this situation?
Q. If two guys happen to like the same woman, and one of them sees the other one as 'competition', does that not mean that he (the one who sees the other one as competition) sees the woman as a prize to be won, and is therefore objectifying her? A tr...
A. 7 September 2012: No, it doesn't mean that he is objectifying her. It means he is running on basic instincts, which most of us do. He wants a girl, he's got competition, and he needs to show the girl that he is best so that the girl will pick him. It's not about ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend of 4 years won't stop going on dating sites. Is it worth trying to sort this out?
Q. Hi, I am new on here and would really like some advice on what to do. I have been with my boyfriend 4 years. He wont stop going on dating sites. I have caught him doing it and seen it with my own eyes 3 times, I have also got to the point where I ...
A. 7 September 2012: Leave him before you waste any more time on him. The issue isn't whether he is cheating or not. The issue is that he is lying to your face, has been lying for years, wont stop, and is showing you disrespect by going out "dating" while he has you. It ... (read in full...)
How do I talk to my daughter without pushing her away?
Q. Dear Cupid My daughter of 15 years is acting weird lately. I know she is sexually active, found used condom in her room. I want to make sure she is not pregnant. How do I bring up this subject without pushing her away from me. Already she hates me...
A. 7 September 2012: Be firm with her. Tell her you know she is sexually active, and that you want to help her out to avoid a pregnancy. Tell her that you want to help pay for birth control pills.
Although, I would think that if you found a used condom it is evident ... (read in full...)
I want to make him dump me so no-one blames me for ending the relationship, how do I do this?
Q. hello everyone. Its been more than a year since i have posted here.Well my life has been wonderful in the past year.The last time when i needed help it was about dating my cousin's ex and i got only one reply saying not to.But it was my bad that...
A. 7 September 2012: In reply to your follow up: You are not married to your boyfriend! If you were married it would be different. But you never promised him to be there until the day he dies, to never leave him, and to always stand by him. You haven't married him. So ... (read in full...)
I want to make him dump me so no-one blames me for ending the relationship, how do I do this?
Q. hello everyone. Its been more than a year since i have posted here.Well my life has been wonderful in the past year.The last time when i needed help it was about dating my cousin's ex and i got only one reply saying not to.But it was my bad that...
A. 7 September 2012: You need to tell him that you want to end the relationship. There's a first for everything, this will be your first time to break up with someone.
You can't make him break up with you. It's also a very cowardly and manipulative thing to do. You ... (read in full...)
Answers needed to a lot of questions on Long Distance Relationships
Q. I want to limit my background info so that I don't bias the readers of this question. I am entering my first LDR. That's all you get for now! So here's my questions: *What's been the hardest thing to go through? *What were some of your tech...
A. 7 September 2012: Does he make you feel wanted?... (read in full...)
Why do guys stare at me or laugh/smile when they see me?
Q. there are a group of guys in my school and i never talk to them. its like everytime i walk by they stare at me and whisper, i have same classes with couples of em, and i know everytime i walk into the classroom and no matter what im doing, they ...
A. 6 September 2012: It's common knowledge that immature boys pick on the girls they like. It's their way of flirting, to get attention. Of course, the picking can be brutal. But it doesn't take away the fact. They do it because they like you, they just have a cruel way ... (read in full...)
Why do guys stare at me or laugh/smile when they see me?
Q. there are a group of guys in my school and i never talk to them. its like everytime i walk by they stare at me and whisper, i have same classes with couples of em, and i know everytime i walk into the classroom and no matter what im doing, they ...
A. 6 September 2012: You're probably pretty. That's why they stare. But then they feel nervous around you, or maybe feel that because you look so good you are "better" than them. So they feel a need to make you less intimidating, by laughing away their nervousness.
... (read in full...)
Answers needed to a lot of questions on Long Distance Relationships
Q. I want to limit my background info so that I don't bias the readers of this question. I am entering my first LDR. That's all you get for now! So here's my questions: *What's been the hardest thing to go through? *What were some of your tech...
A. 6 September 2012: One LDR under my belt already, currently in a LDR.
The hardest thing is going to sleep alone at night, and not being able to just call him whenever I want to.
I need contact as often as possible. But even if you don't get to call much, or see... (read in full...)
Abstinence from masturbation before first time sex?
Q. I have visited an escort agency for first time sex and failed miserably to achieve an erection. I am 44 and have always masturbated with no problem and get erections. I have always used straight sex images and softcore porn for inspiration and ...
A. 5 September 2012: If you've been able to have an erection when on your own, you are not impotent. ... (read in full...)
I'm 14 and I'm pregnant by my 15 year old B/f who talked me into sex. What do I do now?
Q. Hey!:) Ok, I have a huge problem and really need some help! I'm 14 years old, and have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 4 months. He is 15, and in the year above me at school. At the beginning of the relationship, everything was absoutol...
A. 5 September 2012: Not being pro-abortion doesn't mean you shouldn't consider it in this case. Im not for abortion, and I never intend to have one. If I get pregnant, then I'll have the child. I know I couldn't live with having an abortion.
But even so, I do suppo... (read in full...)
Why do I always end up in abusive relationships?
Q. hi everyone, why do i always end up in abusive relationships? im a bubbly, sexy, supportive girl and i always try hard in everything. I know i have flaws too, im no angel but no matter what i do i end up with guys who are perfect at first, t...
A. 5 September 2012: Speaking of early signs, a very good hint is to look at the way he treats his family! If he isn't nice to his family, ignores them, or puts family members down, then he WILL do the same to you. No matter how much he denies that it will happen, it ... (read in full...)
Why do I always end up in abusive relationships?
Q. hi everyone, why do i always end up in abusive relationships? im a bubbly, sexy, supportive girl and i always try hard in everything. I know i have flaws too, im no angel but no matter what i do i end up with guys who are perfect at first, t...
A. 5 September 2012: You say you always try hard. I think that might be the problem. You don't expect much, you work hard, and you (perhaps naively) believe that everyone else will naturally try just as hard. But they don't. Plenty of people just drift by, letting you ... (read in full...)
I'm 14 and I'm pregnant by my 15 year old B/f who talked me into sex. What do I do now?
Q. Hey!:) Ok, I have a huge problem and really need some help! I'm 14 years old, and have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 4 months. He is 15, and in the year above me at school. At the beginning of the relationship, everything was absoutol...
A. 4 September 2012: Talk to a teacher at school, get to your doctor and have a check-out. Tell the truth about how you ended up in this situation, tell the truth about your boyfriend.
Eventually, you will also have to talk to your parents. This boyfriend of yours is... (read in full...)
Abstinence from masturbation before first time sex?
Q. I have visited an escort agency for first time sex and failed miserably to achieve an erection. I am 44 and have always masturbated with no problem and get erections. I have always used straight sex images and softcore porn for inspiration and ...
A. 8 August 2012: I am not one to promote escorts. There have been young men who come on here and who feel they are missing out, when they are only 19-21 and have their whole life ahead of them to experiment. People like that need life experience, not paid sexual ... (read in full...)
Abstinence from masturbation before first time sex?
Q. I have visited an escort agency for first time sex and failed miserably to achieve an erection. I am 44 and have always masturbated with no problem and get erections. I have always used straight sex images and softcore porn for inspiration and ...
A. 7 August 2012: Try to not masturbate as you suggest. But I think you are experiencing what most virgins experience: nervousness related to their first sexual encounter. It is not uncommon that virgin men can't get an erection. They don't even need to be virgins ... (read in full...)
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