| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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What percentage of adult males needs lube for mastubration?
Q. Strictly curious, repeat, strictly curious, what per centage approximately of the populations of adult, human males always, always, always needs lube for selfsexuality/masturbating, actually?...
A. 25 August 2012: Few. Most of the worlds male population is not circumcised and have no need for any form of lubricant. And some of the circumcised ones don't even use lube all the time, so I'm going to place my bet at approximately 0.5% or less of the worlds male ... (read in full...)
Pointers for a virgin having sex for the first time!
Q. Hey I want your advice on how will I know I'm ready for sex. I want to have sex, but I think it will be really embarrassing and awkward, is it normal to think this? I'm 20 and a virgin with a boyfriend. Any tips or pointers for a virgin? Thank...
A. 24 August 2012: I think your normal to be a bit nervous. Everyone can be nervous the first time they try something.
Theres probably loads of pointers in our archives, just search them. There's even a tag for "virgin" I believe, which will help you in your sea... (read in full...)
I'm worried about the size of my penis
Q. hi, so im worried about my penis size... im 19 still a virgin, i have recieved oral sex before and im just worried about the size of my penis, its roughly (ive never had it measured by a doctor) 3 inches depending on how warm/cold i am, i might get ...
A. 24 August 2012: Your penis sounds very normal. Everyone is different, so a penis standing out in this or that direction... well, they come in all variations! Some hang down, some stand straight out, some point upwards when erect, some point downwards, some to the ... (read in full...)
Trouble being on top.
Q. My boyfriend asked me to ride him, i had never done it before but i was keen to give it a go, but i couldn't actually move once i was straddling him. I don't know if it was because he was thrusting too, but i couldn't do anything. I felt really bad ...
A. 24 August 2012: Oh, and I like to lean a bit forward and grab at his chest for support. You can also try leaning backwards and support yourself on the bed or on his legs, and then have him do the thrusting. There are many different ways to do this, just experiment. ... (read in full...)
Trouble being on top.
Q. My boyfriend asked me to ride him, i had never done it before but i was keen to give it a go, but i couldn't actually move once i was straddling him. I don't know if it was because he was thrusting too, but i couldn't do anything. I felt really bad ...
A. 24 August 2012: He needs to lie still until you can find a good position for you to move in. After you've gotten comfortable he can start thrusting lightly, and YOU need to be the one who controls how hard and how fast he thrusts. Being on top means you are in ... (read in full...)
Handcuffs and restraints from Ann Summers: will they fit my bigger wrists?
Q. Hey, i need some answers from people who have used them, please.... I want to buy some handcuffs from ann summers, just the normal fluffy ones, and possibly some restraints. However, i do not have small wrists, they are more like a mans wrists (b...
A. 24 August 2012: They will probably fit just fine. And toy handcuffs tend to have a switch on them so they can be opened without a key. ... (read in full...)
Do dreams mean something
Q. I slept at a girls house with some friends and i got on with all of them but i just had 2 dreams in 2 days one was she was giving me a blow job and the other one was she jerked me off now i don't really have any feelings to this girl but i am ...
A. 24 August 2012: Yes, dreams mean something. This particular dream is telling you that you want to experiment sexually. It doesn't mean you will, or that she wants to experiment with you. It just means that subconsciously you are thinking about sex. ... (read in full...)
Is a water infection a STI?
Q. My wife cheated on me a month ago, we are working on things and hopefully will be able to move on from this. However she now has a water infection, is this an STI? How do you get a water infection?...
A. 24 August 2012: UTI is not an STI. Urinary tract infection can happen from so many different things it is near impossible to give one specific answer. You don't actually "get" a UTI. The bacteria that cause the infection are normal in your body. But different ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend seems to prefer porn over me! Am I doing something wrong?
Q. Hey, well im a 19 year old male, in a loving relationship (11 months now) and my girlfriend is great. Only problem with her is, she likes having things a bit "her" way. She can't really do much because her family has finance issue and looking for a ...
A. 24 August 2012: It seems to me that every person with low expectations and perhaps lacking in self respect have the same "issue" as you do. If a person you are with is lying to you, and you know they are lying, why put up with it? You can't make them stop lying, ... (read in full...)
Why do I always meet "Mr. Wrong"?
Q. Dear aunts and unles. I wake up everything morning with a knot in my stomach over a guy and it's silly as I know we were nothing to begin with. I guess I'm so sad as yet again I can't keep a man. is it me???! P.s I'm not here for judgement I'm ...
A. 24 August 2012: There's nothing wrong with internet dating. It isn't some sort of last resort, internet dating is just another way to meet people who are single. Communication online, and flirting online, can be easier for some, and harder for others. You need to ... (read in full...)
Will having a threesome with my wife ruin our relationship? She's the one who brought it up.
Q. My wife asked me to have a 3sum with another female. I'm up for the idea but I thought about it more and I don't know how it will change our relationship, am I not pleasing her enugh, she orgasms at least three time every time we have sex. What she ...
A. 23 August 2012: If you're insecure about it, in any way, then don't do it. You will regret it, and you wont feel better about it as you go along with it, and you will definitely not feel better about it, or yourself, afterwards.
If you're not 100% on board th... (read in full...)
Why can't my family just be happy I found someone who makes me happy?
Q. Hello. I'm 18 and my boyfriend is too. we met online for a year and we saw each other this summer in the US. we were together for a month at my brothers house. My brother would always critisize him on the way he eats, the things he does, if hes ...
A. 23 August 2012: You hit the nail on the head, without realizing it. They always have something to say about your relationship, because their own sucks. That's why they try to bring your relationship down. It is the number one reason why people bully others, or pick ... (read in full...)
I looked into my dad's phone messages and think I've discovered he's having an affair!
Q. I am literally shaking with rage and I don't know who I can turn to right now. I think I have just discovered that my Dad is having an affair. My parents have been married for over 25 years now. I was having troubles with my phone so I looked around ...
A. 23 August 2012: @ anon female: it's a HE, not a HER. His mother. His father. Anyway, this isn't about morals. If you really want to get into it then being a snitch isn't exactly morally right either. You're responsible for your own actions, not the actions of ... (read in full...)
I'm upset that my boyfriend didn't get me anything for my birthday
Q. I'm kind of bothered by the fact that my boyfriend didn't care to get me anything for my birthday. I'm not materialistic and I don't really want any specific item but like the saying goes, "It's the thought that counts" and I feel like he didn't p...
A. 22 August 2012: You are more than justified. In my opinion you're under-reacting. You should have pulled the rug out from under his feet and flipped him upside down.. but instead you just mention it briefly.
If he cared about you he would get you a gift, ev... (read in full...)
I looked into my dad's phone messages and think I've discovered he's having an affair!
Q. I am literally shaking with rage and I don't know who I can turn to right now. I think I have just discovered that my Dad is having an affair. My parents have been married for over 25 years now. I was having troubles with my phone so I looked around ...
A. 22 August 2012: Well if you can't talk to anyone else about it the answer is obvious: either keep it to yourself, or tell your dad you know and talk to him about it.
Life happens... you'll pull through. ... (read in full...)
I started dating a gorgeous, model-like, ambitious, cheeky guy, and he's now turned into an overweight, boozy, attention seeking boy!
Q. This is really tricky and I'd appreciate both male and female help with this. I've been with my lovely boyfriend who I care deeply for for two and a half years. When I met him he had model looks, a great body and I couldn't keep my hands off him....
A. 21 August 2012: The guys I have been with tend to put on weight during their relationship with me. I think this is down to a chance in diets, as they begin to eat the same as me, and maybe eat more as I am a decent cook. Maybe the same happened to your boyfriend. I ... (read in full...)
How do I get my mom to send me to a mental ward?
Q. Lately depression has been taking control again, it's been really hard to fight it again. I've always been a negative person, which makes it harder for me to deal with depression, or the begining of it even. I'm happy, usually a while in a day, but ...
A. 20 August 2012: Your mom isn't the one who can send you away, or help you get therapy. You need to talk to your doctor! Or a school councilor if you have any and perhaps your school has an arrangement itself for students who need therapy. When I was in high school ... (read in full...)
He's my ex. I accidentally saw him out wearing the shirt I gave him. But he ignored me. Why would he wear THAT shirt?
Q. okay so i havent seen my ex since his birthday last month, where i gave him a shirt. we've only spoken a couple of times since then and they were not pleasant conversations. he started dating his ex before me and i moved on. ive never felt so reli...
A. 20 August 2012: You're reading too much into it. It wore it because it was a clean shirt. He probably doesn't remember where he got it from, guys tend to not remember such details. And guys very rarely send hidden messages.
Why did you give your ex a shirt fo... (read in full...)
He didn't orgasm on the fourth time we had sex, how come?
Q. Okay everybody, so Friday night at my boyfriends we had sex like 4 times during the night but on the 4th time he didn't cum, he said he was really enjoying it but it just wasn't happening, he had cum the other 3 times, so how come he never the 4th?...
A. 19 August 2012: Because he ran out of sperm, or just were too tired. ... (read in full...)
He's 14 and I'm 15 and we are cousins. Is it wrong to have these feelings? Should we have sex and what are the consequences?
Q. Im a 15 year old female, and my cousin is a 14 year old male. We've always messed around, like flirted. We have like dry humped, had oral sex, basically everything but real sex. We have a cottage, and we're always at each others houses. We went...
A. 18 August 2012: Cousins are allowed to marry in Norway, as far as I am aware. In Denmark I believe half siblings are allowed to marry. It varies a lot, some places it is illegal, others it's not. It's got to do with the likelihood of your children having genetic ... (read in full...)
He's 14 and I'm 15 and we are cousins. Is it wrong to have these feelings? Should we have sex and what are the consequences?
Q. Im a 15 year old female, and my cousin is a 14 year old male. We've always messed around, like flirted. We have like dry humped, had oral sex, basically everything but real sex. We have a cottage, and we're always at each others houses. We went...
A. 17 August 2012: You've had sex. Oral sex, dry humping etc. is sex. What I assume you haven't had is intercourse, where he puts his penis inside your vagina, so to speak.
You shouldn't have sex unless you are of age and can legally concent to it. But if you deci... (read in full...)
Ladies why date a man first if he asks you to marry him right away?
Q. This question is especially for young single women. If a young single man who has everything going for him financially and career wise decides to settle down and approaches you but doesn't want to date you but asks you to marry him. Would you ...
A. 17 August 2012: Oh, and YOU are not being rejected. It is this idea of yours that is being rejected. This idea of yours is not YOU. We are rejecting the idea of marrying a stranger. We are not rejecting you. How can we, we don't know you. ... (read in full...)
Ladies why date a man first if he asks you to marry him right away?
Q. This question is especially for young single women. If a young single man who has everything going for him financially and career wise decides to settle down and approaches you but doesn't want to date you but asks you to marry him. Would you ...
A. 17 August 2012: " Evaluate yourself & me"
There is nothing to evaluate!!!! We don't know anything about you!!!
You asked if women would marry a man they don't know, you did NOT ask if we want to marry you! You asked a question, and you got answers. Maybe y... (read in full...)
Had sex with long time best friend. Things seem different, do I talk to him about it or just ignore it?
Q. There is this guy. He has been my best guy friend for around 6 years. I could talk to him about anything and ask him relationship advice. After about 3 years of knowing each other, we started to develop some emotional connection. We would spend ...
A. 17 August 2012: An amusement park is not the best place to have a talk. You should invite him somewhere where you will have an opportunity to really talk about things, so you can tell him how you feel.
I believe things have changed. Even if things haven't ... (read in full...)
Ladies why date a man first if he asks you to marry him right away?
Q. This question is especially for young single women. If a young single man who has everything going for him financially and career wise decides to settle down and approaches you but doesn't want to date you but asks you to marry him. Would you ...
A. 16 August 2012: Why do you think we're saying no? Has any of the information hit home or are you ignoring it?... (read in full...)
Is it worth staying with my fiance after he disrespected me so badly?
Q. My fiance and I have been together for almost two and a half years. We met online and after we met in person and dated for a while, I moved in with him where he lived (he lived in Louisiana and I lived in Arizona)but we decided it would be a nice ...
A. 16 August 2012: Could it have something to do with you being at his parents? It doesn't excuse his behaviour, but it could help explain it. If he's got a bad relationship with his parents, or bad feelings attached to that house/area it could be he is particularly ... (read in full...)
He's a monster who treated me horribly, will they have a happy ending? I feel sick!
Q. Dear everyone. I'm in bits. I have been with my ex for about 3.5 yrs(off and on) and for the past 2 months he had grown increasingly distant. I knew he had been working alot but he never had time to see me, yet he still said he loved me. I had seen...
A. 16 August 2012: If it's any consolation he probably doesn't love her any more than he loves you. It is obvious from the outside point of view that he only told you he loved you so you would come over to his place and have sex with him. He wanted to know he was ... (read in full...)
I can't orgasm with my boyfriend!
Q. hi guys. Me and my boyfriend have a great relationship...the problem is he can't make me orgasm. To begin with I thought it would probably sort itself out as we got more used to what each other liked etc, but we've been having sex for about 2 months ...
A. 16 August 2012: Has a pervious boyfriend been able to make you orgasm? Have you been able to make yourself orgasm?
Making a woman orgasm can be very difficult, we're no where as easy as men in that department. It can take years before he learns what works fo... (read in full...)
Had sex with long time best friend. Things seem different, do I talk to him about it or just ignore it?
Q. There is this guy. He has been my best guy friend for around 6 years. I could talk to him about anything and ask him relationship advice. After about 3 years of knowing each other, we started to develop some emotional connection. We would spend ...
A. 16 August 2012: Yes, you might feel dumb for saying you like him first. So what? You're an adult, and the worst that can happen is that you will feel silly about it afterwards. But at least you were direct and honest and took the plunge, instead of chicken out. ... (read in full...)
Aftermath of a threesome.
Q. I'm kind of in a bind here and I need your take on this situation because it's not a black or white scenario. Several years back, my friend decided that he thought it would be fun if we all had a threesome with his then girlfriend. We d...
A. 16 August 2012: This is unethical not because you are three people having sex with each other. It's unethical because two of youare going behind one persons back, lying to him. It is unethical because the husband did not agree to this. You didn't ask him. That's ... (read in full...)
Are women put off by skinny men?
Q. I know everyone has different tastes and personal preferences, but in general, are women put off by skinny men? I'm 23, and while I eat like a horse, I just have never been able to put on any tangible weight, and have virtually little muscle a...
A. 15 August 2012: I've seen skinny off putting men. I'm currently in a relationship with a skinny smoking hot man. Skinny is just a body type, it's how you carry yourself and who you are that matters. Body language is what determines if someone is sexy or not. ... (read in full...)
Aftermath of a threesome.
Q. I'm kind of in a bind here and I need your take on this situation because it's not a black or white scenario. Several years back, my friend decided that he thought it would be fun if we all had a threesome with his then girlfriend. We d...
A. 15 August 2012: Ah okay. I'm just asking since most of the (at least female) mistresses are craving intimacy and have low self etseem, so low they don't think they can do better than a married man. They don't really want to be mistresses, they want him to leave his ... (read in full...)
Had sex with long time best friend. Things seem different, do I talk to him about it or just ignore it?
Q. There is this guy. He has been my best guy friend for around 6 years. I could talk to him about anything and ask him relationship advice. After about 3 years of knowing each other, we started to develop some emotional connection. We would spend ...
A. 15 August 2012: Sex means exactly the same to guys as it does to girls. Some don't care, but most do care, and most have a emotional connection to sex. You've known this man for years, that makes me think he's a good guy who's not emotionally handicapped. Which ... (read in full...)
I feel a little insecure about my boyfriend's past FWB, and could use some advice.
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for almost a year. Prior to meeting me he had a 'sex-only' relationship with another girl for around 2 weeks. When he met me, this relationship was ended. I was a little insecure about this previous 'fling' and freq...
A. 15 August 2012: Explain to me why you care. Explain what it is about his previous relationship/fling that made you insecure. Was she better looking than you? Did they have amazing sex? Was she a circus artist that could bend her legs in ways you can't? What exactly ... (read in full...)
Are women put off by skinny men?
Q. I know everyone has different tastes and personal preferences, but in general, are women put off by skinny men? I'm 23, and while I eat like a horse, I just have never been able to put on any tangible weight, and have virtually little muscle a...
A. 15 August 2012: No. We're not put off by skinny men. ... (read in full...)
Aftermath of a threesome.
Q. I'm kind of in a bind here and I need your take on this situation because it's not a black or white scenario. Several years back, my friend decided that he thought it would be fun if we all had a threesome with his then girlfriend. We d...
A. 15 August 2012: I don't think her husband has any responsibility for what SHE and YOU decide to do. It's not as if he's forcing you, right? Passing blame is just another way of allowing yourself to continue with what you know isn't right.
Her husband and she ... (read in full...)
Ladies why date a man first if he asks you to marry him right away?
Q. This question is especially for young single women. If a young single man who has everything going for him financially and career wise decides to settle down and approaches you but doesn't want to date you but asks you to marry him. Would you ...
A. 15 August 2012: You didn't ask me to be your wife, you asked a hypothetical question. I will let you have "the last word" for all I care. But I think you need to get realistic here, because you're living in fantasy land and it's going to hit you hard.
Say y... (read in full...)
I have low self esteem and sometimes have felt like a tart. How do I raise my self esteem?
Q. I am a 25 year old female. I have struggled with low self esteem since a very young age. I haven't had a bf for at least 7 years. Everytime I go on dates with guys I always get very nervous and end up becoming drunk. On one occasion I got d...
A. 15 August 2012: Change things up. Change jobs if you're not happy. Do something, take action, be in charge of your life. Travel, perhaps widening the horizon and learning new things will make you feel more alive and not vegetating.
What I like to do is remember... (read in full...)
How does the drug Ecstasy affect the body?
Q. Hi, just curious... what exactly is ecstasy? I don't plan on taking it, but I'm just curious because I'll see commercials for Trojans Ecstasy condoms, and I want to know exactly what it does, not the condoms, but the actual drug. I've seen questi...
A. 15 August 2012: I had already been drinking and he only allowed me to take half a pill, so don't know if that had something to do with it. Or maybe he gave me something else, lol. I traded half the other pill for some weed later on and got high on that, so I hope ... (read in full...)
Ladies why date a man first if he asks you to marry him right away?
Q. This question is especially for young single women. If a young single man who has everything going for him financially and career wise decides to settle down and approaches you but doesn't want to date you but asks you to marry him. Would you ...
A. 14 August 2012: Oh man.. you're not for real. Good luck to you, that's all I can say.
I would suggest you learn more about social conduct before you attempt getting married. When you don't even know who to sucessfully approach a woman, how do you expect to get m... (read in full...)
Is it fair to ask my boyfriend to pay the bills if he moves in and pay no rent?
Q. Would it be fair to ask for my boyfriend to pay all bills (electricity, gas and water) if he moved in with me? I have a house but have a mortgage. He is wanting us to live together but only gives me options of selling or renting mine out and get...
A. 14 August 2012: I think it would be much easier if you just charge rent, bills included. It's so much simpler that way. Charge what you want and what you think is an affordable prize. For example, you can look at the market prize for a room in your area, and cut ... (read in full...)
How does the drug Ecstasy affect the body?
Q. Hi, just curious... what exactly is ecstasy? I don't plan on taking it, but I'm just curious because I'll see commercials for Trojans Ecstasy condoms, and I want to know exactly what it does, not the condoms, but the actual drug. I've seen questi...
A. 14 August 2012: I don't know exactly what ecstasy is made out of, but a quick google search will help you with that. As for the condoms, they have absolutely nothing to do with the drug. Ecstacy is just a word to describe a feeling, after all. And that's the ... (read in full...)
Ladies why date a man first if he asks you to marry him right away?
Q. This question is especially for young single women. If a young single man who has everything going for him financially and career wise decides to settle down and approaches you but doesn't want to date you but asks you to marry him. Would you ...
A. 13 August 2012: With your brilliant idea, why are you still single? You can't just assume every woman here is single just because she'd turn down a marriage proposal from a complete stranger.
Marriages FAIL, in case you haven't heard. The protestants in England ... (read in full...)
Ladies why date a man first if he asks you to marry him right away?
Q. This question is especially for young single women. If a young single man who has everything going for him financially and career wise decides to settle down and approaches you but doesn't want to date you but asks you to marry him. Would you ...
A. 13 August 2012:
This is a rare combination of being cynical and incredibly naive at the same time. I didn't think that was possible actually. On the one hand you are cynical in that you think women can be bought with a ring and should be happy with that. On... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
