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If you won money, how much would you give your guardian?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 September 2012) 16 Answers - (Newest, 1 October 2012)
A female United States age 26-29, *zzygurl writes:

Hey everyone,

This is not a relationship question, it's a "what if" question.

Ok, let's say you are 17 years old and you've been living with somebody like a guardian since you were 16, you don't have any parents, and you pay the person $300 every month, so on your 18th birthday you won $35,000 in the lottery. How much will you give your guardian from the money you won? Will you give you your guardian half of it? I just wanna know, thanks for answering :) 3

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A female reader, Ciar Canada +, writes (1 October 2012):

Ciar agony auntAbsolutely NOT half. Not even close.

If you've had a great relationship with this guardian, they've been kind to you and they're struggling to make ends meet, then you could give them a one time gift of $1000, but that is ALL. No one else gets any of it.

We're under the impression you're talking about a trust fund. If so those funds were set aside so you could have a heads start on establishing yourself in a decent career so that you would not be dependent upon anyone else again.

I think it's reasonable to expect you to contribute to the household, but $300 a month seems a tad high for a minor. I'm going to give your guardian the benefit of the doubt and assume they barely had enough for themselves but were kind enough to share what they had with you. I really hope this is the case.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (30 September 2012):

chigirl agony auntSorry, I apparently skipped the part where you wrote you already pay for food and shelter. In that case, I wouldn't do anyting different once I turned 18 at all, except for maybe moving out and live on my own unless I really got along with my guardian and wanted to stay there . Highly unlikely though, I don't get along well enough with others enough to live with them. I'm all edges and full of thorns. But maybe you're softer around the edges than me.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (30 September 2012):

chigirl agony auntI'd not give the guardian anything, but keep my winning private, and put the money away in a savings account.

If there comes a rainy day, then I might give some money to keep the roof over our heads.

Then again, once I turn 18 and am officially an adult, I'd get a job and start paying rent, and chip in for food as well.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2012):

i'd put all the money away for college or something life changing like that - its your money, you do not owe them anything. They took you in but that does not mean they have to have half of your winning. Heck, you could move out with that amount of cash avaliable to you.

I would not give a way half or even spend it foolishly because that amount of money may NEVER come to you again. I'd use it wisely!!!!!!

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A female reader, iloveblue Canada +, writes (30 September 2012):

iloveblue agony auntWhen I saw the word guardian, I thought they took you in out of mercy and love and raised you like their own daughter. I would surely give them a big share no doubt! But paying them $300 a month?

They've been paid monthly, why give them half of your fortune? I agree with everyone, if they have been nice to you, give them a memorable gift perhaps or maybe give them a bonus for taking care of you like making this last month's pay triple or double. But not half! The best thing to do with this money is get out of this home, find your own place and try to find a job while saving this money for your college so you could get a degree.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2012):

you're already paying money to the guardian on a monthly basis, and maybe they are also receiving government help. This monthly pay already helps to cover for food, clothes etc.

If you want to show your gratitude to the guardian, maybe invite them to the restaurant or buy something nice for their house (maybe a new tv set?) but that money is for you and to help you build your future. if they try to pressure you keep in mind that the money is yours, to be able to go to a good school or help you start out in life and succeed.

You might feel at the moment like you don't know what to do with the money and that it's a lot, but trust me: later in life you will be happy that you are using the money for yourself and to help you achieve what you want to help you in your life, such as covering your school fees. You will be happy to have had every penny especially if you don't have anyone else to turn to for financial help.

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A female reader, Dear Mandy United Kingdom +, writes (30 September 2012):

Dear Mandy agony auntHI

I must agree with many on here, why ARE you paying your guardian $300 a month? they should be paid by the goverment not you. And IF you won/inherited $35.000 for your 18th I would use it for something constructive like passing my driving test , getting a little run around, and getting my own apartment. Yes I would buy them a Gift of sorts i.e Dinner for two at a nice resturant, or maybe a night in a posh hotel, but if your feeling obliged already and you have not even recieved any money it makes me wonder how they are treating you as a person! a caring , loving gaurdian would want only the best for YOU , and would NOT want to touch your money at all.

Mandy xx

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (30 September 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntwhy would you want to give them half? they are being paid already to take care of you....

I would not give them half... if they ask I'd give them nothing, if they don't ask, well then I might give them a thank you gift if they have been kind to me.

is this really winning the lottery or your inheritance?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2012):

Just to add, a good guardian would refuse taking half knowing your circumstances.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2012):

No, I'd buy them something nice as a thank you, a new dishwasher to replace a broken one or a new lawnmower or something.

Definitely not half if you've only lived with them a year.

A gesture of thank you is enough.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (30 September 2012):

CindyCares agony auntHeck no ! Why should I ? Would he ( or she ) give me half of 35000 if he won the lottery ? I don't think so.

Of course this is a very generic, "what if " question, in practice it would all depend from the type of relationship.

I suppose that there are legal guardian/ ward relationships that in a short time may bloom into a real ,deep love bond, as between a real parent and child , so in this case, who knows, maybe.

But otherwise, if the legual guardian is no close relative or close friend, he ( or she ) is simply someone who performs a task he has been assigned by a tribunal- i. e., he's doing his job. Hopefully, he does it scrupolously, dutifully, and at the best of his capacities , and this would entitle him to my respect and appreciation... but surely not to the tune of half of my belongings !

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A female reader, BondGirl72 United States +, writes (30 September 2012):

BondGirl72 agony auntIf you are going to be receiving money when you turn 18, that money is for you to go to college or otherwise use to help you begin your life. In our family we would use it for a vehicle, to rent an apartment, put a downpayment on a house, and buy necessities you are going to need to live (and there are a lot of them considering the things you need from food to health/auto insurance).

I am assuming you are talking about some type of trust fund that was set up for you. The money is for YOU. You decide how to use it. You might consider purchasing a gift for your guardian, but he/she is in no way entitled to half of your money.

If your guardian is going to cause problems for you in this respect, you may want further advice on what to do. I think I would if I did not have my parents or any other trusted friend/mentor.

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A female reader, BondGirl72 United States +, writes (30 September 2012):

BondGirl72 agony auntIf you are going to be receiving money when you turn 18, that money is for you to go to college or otherwise use to help you begin your life. In our family we would use it for a vehicle, to rent an apartment, put a downpayment on a house, and buy necessities you are going to need to live (and there are a lot of them considering the things you need from food to health/auto insurance).

I am assuming you are talking about some type of trust fund that was set up for you. The money is for YOU. You decide how to use it. You might consider purchasing a gift for your guardian, but he/she is in no way entitled to half of your money.

If your guardian is going to cause problems for you in this respect, you may want further advice on what to do. I think I would if I did not have my parents or any other trusted friend/mentor.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2012):

If you're paying someone to keep you, I wouldn't give them anything at all.

If they were keeping you out of love, that would be a different story.

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (30 September 2012):

person12345 agony auntI'm confused, why do you have to give your guardian money? Guardian, not a landlord. No, I wouldn't give them half of the money.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2012):

hun if you have no parents save the money to pay for college and keep quiet about it, I wouldn't give my guardian a penny if he/she is already being paid for his services...

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