A
female
age
30-35,
*ellokittyfan12
writes:Hello everyone I have a very good friend and she recently got into a relationship with her boyfriend but now that she's with him she doesn't shut up about him! How can I politely tell her to stop talking about him so much. Practically every time we talk its something about him and she never cares about my feelings or anything I have to say she always changes the subject back to her. I'm starting to feel annoyed. I think she is trying to show off because I have never had a boyfriend and I am older than her I don't know if this is the case but it looks like it could be. Also I think she uses me as a remedy when she is mad at him because thats the only time she contacts me. She also always tells me that every guy likes her for example she says "I think that guy liked me he kept staring at me." I just wanted to add that I'm not jealous I sincerely value her friendship and I think he is a great guy. Thank you for reading!!
View related questions:
jealous, never had a boyfriend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (28 February 2013):
 Oh let her be. When you first enter a relationship you wont be able to shut up about it either. It's one of the things one does when in love and it's new and fresh. They're always on your mind and you can't stop thinking about them, and you want to share it with the entire world. Just smile and let her carry on, it'll calm down as the excitement settles.
A
female
reader, hellokittyfan12 +, writes (28 February 2013):
hellokittyfan12 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you those answers really helped! (:
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2013): I used to be in a similar situation with my best friend, who talked non-stop about her boyfriend. We used to live together so this took up A LOT of time. I met a guy, who dumped me in a horrible way after a couple of months, and while I cried to her about this, she was telling me how happy she was because she had the best boyfriend in the world. Later, they had a lot of problems and he treated her really badly, and then I had to listen to her crying down the phone 3-4 times a day, begging him not to leave her and to stop being so cruel to her. That was even harder to hear. Since then, they have worked out a lot of their problems and are still together, and are happy most of the time. She has calmed down and mentions him much less often. I have learned to talk about myself more, as I just allowed her to go on about him before, while seething inside. If I think she's talking too much about herself or him, I will turn the conversation towards myself or something completely different. You matter, too. Also, she probably isn't trying to make you feel jealous or bad about yourself for not having a boyfriend. I also thought this about my friend but I've since come to understand that this was all in my head because it was how I felt about myself. I felt that not having a boyfriend but being older than her made me less of a person. Focus on yourself and having a full life so that you don't feel like something is missing in the shape of a boyfriend. I really hope you meet someone nice, too.
...............................
A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (28 February 2013):
 people tend to do this a lot when they really like someone. it's just kind of human nature. when you are freshly in a new relationship and in the honeymoon stage, and you just can't stop thinking about them, they're always on your mind and therefore, always being talked about.
i don't think your friend is doing anything maliciously or trying to make you jealous. then again, i'm not a fly on the wall, so i really don't know her intentions.
however, i can totally understand how this is frustrating. i'm sure you would like to talk about other things for a change and hang out when she's not conveniently mad at him.
have you tried the good old fashioned method of telling her how you feel? sometimes with women, it's not always that simple, i'm aware. it's unfortunate. often times, women don't take things with a grain of salt and get all dramatic and crap. i can't personally relate to all that, but i've definitely seen it a million times. but it can't hurt to try. just gently let her know that you miss her friendship and that you don't feel like you really have your old pal anymore. that you want to just get to hang with her without hearing about old boy for a while. or that she can talk about him, but just also to make sure she makes a point to ask about you and how you're doing.
good luck with that!
...............................
A
female
reader, Lady in Love  +, writes (27 February 2013):
 i have been in a similar situation, only i'm the girl who is always talking about her boyfriend! and no i never used my friend as a remedy.its as simple as when you get the most fantastic clothe ever! how proud would you feel , like you've achieved the impossible and you just wear them over and over again because you're so happy in them!you're her best friend and she tells you everything right! and right now this guy is her everything! i am not saying she stopped liking you, on the contrast, she probably talks about you all the time when she is with him!, i know i did that.its a matter of pride not more! and between real friends i don't think its a show off or anything!how to stop her? easy the way i stopped! you can never really stop your friend, he is in her life too right! yet you can minimize the boyfriend talk.step 1:when your together get her something to eat, so she would be busy with something while you are talkingstep 2:propose a game to play and the looser has to buy somethingstep 3:the game rules are talking about anything else but the boyfriend for whole 15 minssay it with laughter and smiles like its a dare! and initiate the talking by mentioning the nerd classmate or some funny moment you share togetherbest luck
...............................
A
female
reader, lmao1989  +, writes (27 February 2013):
 Unfortunately there can be friends like that in your life. I had one very similar. We aren't friends now.
But this girl is obviously really excited to be having a boyfriend and she probably doesn't mean to go on all the time but she may feel that this is the one and she wants to share that with you.
I can honestly say that her having a boyfriend may give her confidence in herself hence she thinks that a guy staring at her fancied her.
If she mentions him again just say 'hey i know you're happy and i am happy for you but can you talk to me about something else' Let her know you're wanting to talk to her about things in your life but feel you can't.
She probably doesn't even realise she's doing it.
...............................
|
