A
female
age
36-40,
*hateasygirl
writes:Did I come off as easy? I went over to the house of a guy I like and gave him oral (I was on my period) after he started making out with me. We never had any proper dates, but we had been flirting over the past couple of weeks and we hung out a few times with other mutual friends. It's been a few days and I haven't heard from him. I don't know if I should text him or if it would be better for him to text me first... or if I should just give up on him because I gave him what he wanted and now he's not interested. I don't know, my brain feels like it's going a million miles an hour right now and I'd just like some advice.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2013): What was so unclear about this situation? You were not dating, meeting at random places. You didn't even start dating. Your oral sex thing was just a casual hookup but why? Now you wonder if he ever will call you? The truth is he doesn't think of you at all. He got his few minutes of pleasure from an almost complete stranger.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2013): Blowing him probably didn't help his interest - but I don't think it would hurt it either. If he is not acting interested in dating you anymore then he probably never really was. Or maybe he was losing interest the same night that you happened to blow him.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (9 March 2013):
 I trust that you have now learned the lesson that guys will do most anything to get nik-nik (or an oral equivalent thereto) from a girl...... and following that, will feel NO COMPUNCTION about having much/anything to do with her, again, until the next time he wants nik-nik (or the oral equivalent thereto).....
Yes... you came off as 'way too "easy"......
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (9 March 2013):
 Perhaps, but I don't think that NOW he does not want you anymore because you came off as easy.
I think the deck was rigged from the start and this guy just wanted a booty call anyway.
Otherwise, he would have properly asked you out, took you on dates, showed you some more personalized attention, than a couple weeks of generic " flirting " ( by text , I suppose ? not a great evidence of genuine interest ) and a few hangouts with friends ( for all you know, he was going to be there anyway, with or without you ).
What I am tryng to say, is that with this kind of half assed , one-size-fits all " courtship" you have been a bit too optimistic in assuming that he wanted from you more than a hook up . I mean, first " date " at his place ? that's a dead giveaway,lol, believe me , still in this day and age if a guy REALLY likes you they do things a bit more slowly and properly.
So, don't beat yourself up , it's not that your " easyness " turned him off you, I think that a hook up is all he wanted to begin with . Of course, he may pop up again... for more of the same, - don't waste your time, and the next guy,... make sure he has a different approach before giving him your attentions ( oral or otherwise ).
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (9 March 2013):
 Easy. If he's not your boyfriend you don't do favours like that. Simple and easy. Not a boyfriend = no sex. Not even a kiss. If he wants the fun he needs to sign up for the full package deal. Unless all YOU want is random fun and one night stands and a few tricks here and there. But in that case don't expect a man to want to make you his girlfriend. Someone who puts out too easy isn't girlfriend/boyfriend material in most peoples eyes. You just sent this guy the signal that you're not too serious of a person, and that you're not serious about him. If you were serious about him you'd have waited with sexual things. If you actually want a relationship with this guy then suggest to meet up and have a date and see where it goes from there and NO more sexual things. Go exclusive before you get naked.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2013):
Can't agree more with I'm here to help you.. Here my saying ' if you ain't got a ring, then they don't get a thing ' and that way you'll weed out the weeds lol lol.
Don't cut yourself up over it what done is done. Just make sure next time you respect you and say ' no' not until we're in a proper relationship.
Take care sweetie x
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