A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Are there virgin guys out there that want to wait till marriage with someone they really love? I feel very disappointed and alone when all I see is jerky guys and pregnant teens. People are so slutty and cold hearted these days. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2013): yes there are guys out there willing to wait, my son lives in Ohio is 22 years old and is waiting till he gets married. He too is disappointed and is having a hard time meeting girls that are willing to wait till marriage. My oldest son also waited till marriage to have sex and he and my daughter-in-law are quite happily married two years later.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2013): I feel your pain! It is so sad. What is more sad, look around this website at how many posts are about guys who are in tons of emotional pain over the fact that their wife had another man's penis in her before them. The beauty of marriage--of two people giving themselves to each other in a way that no one else ever has or ever will share, and publicly declaring so--is real! And so many people come to eventually see the beauty, but for many today they only come to see it too late. And then, suffer over seeing this unbelievable beauty that they know they can never have.
If you are a virgin, you are special. Don't forget that. You have an amazing chance at something more beautiful than you probably realize. Don't give up. There are other men out there who are worthy of you. You'll never regret achieving the beauty of total monogamy, but you are very likely to regret giving in now. Be true to yourself!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2013): i am single guy 34 and i am viring
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female
reader, laure  +, writes (21 March 2013):
 Losing one's virginity doesn't mean you are slut or a bad person,that's a retarded way of thinking!!!I respect your beliefs but don't go judging out people,that's really unfair and it's a primitive way of thinking!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2013): I think you guys should stop making adult virginity the benchmark. You will make things a lot easier for yourselves if you widen the scope a little bit to people who are very choosy about their partners.
There are lots of people who aren't virgins but they can count all their past partners with one hand, and all of them were serious multi-year relationships. Its not virginity, but it is so much closer to the way you feel than how most of the culture feels. And its so much easier to live a life where you can have at least some sex before you are married. It makes life so much more bearable.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2013): Trust me, I feel what you feel. I'm 27 very soon and still a virgin. Life is tough for people like us! People who don't go racking up notches under the belt as soon as they turn 17. People who were bright, intelligent, interesting and yet too naive and innocent with an idealistic view of how the 'one' most significant relationship of their life should be. People who thought it better to 'make an effort' at working for an education, then work to build a career first, working till we felt capable, empowered and ready to bring someone special into our lives and take care them for life. People who view sleeping with someone almost as giving a part of yourself away to them. People who want to give and at the same time receive that special privilege of being someone's one and only.You will find many posts on here from people with similar feelings and some of them will have replies from others trying to explain to them how to change themselves to be like the others. I don't doubt the sincerity of their advice but I think that someone who has never gone through these feelings will never quite understand where we're coming from. Yes we have traits like shyness, introversion, social awkwardness about us but why are these necessarily bad? What is wrong with being those things as long as I'm not interrupting with normal function of society, don't hurt/harm other people, remain a law abiding citizen, pay my bills and taxes on time and am a productive member of society? I can still enjoy life, I can still love a girl completely and help her blossom into a beautiful being, have amazing hobbies, contribute to society and give back to the community in return for the wonderful things it has given me. I just want to do all those things with only one person in my life that I give myself completely to. Sometimes I wonder if it feels so difficult to be like this because we are not actually supposed to be this way at all.I cannot disagree with people who say that we don't put ourselves, the attractive, witty, charming, funny, positive people we are, out there enough for people to know we are there, but I get intimidated at the thought of putting myself out there being completely clueless in a society that I just don't get and which just doesn't get people like me. It's just not that easy to simply change the way you think about these things, that you've been walking around carrying inside of you all your life.What hurts me the most is that there isn't even a forum where such people can meet others like themselves, when it comes to the topic of waiting till marriage. I read all these questions, replies to questions on this site from women like yourself, saying words that could just as well have come out of my mouth. I have at times read replies from women on here and found myself saying, "Where in the world are you poster? How can I know you better?", but there is no way for us to reach out to each other personally. It's so sad that despite so many of us similar beings being around, we are forced to date in a world full of people who do not share the same views as us (I'm not saying that either mine or the views opposite to it are better than the other), and are forced to consider taking partners that are just not like us. I hate the prospect that I may have to end up with someone who, while in no way worthy of judgement for how they lived their life, are not the same as me, while knowing that there were all these women I read responses from that sound just like the things I wanted my partner to be saying.I wish there was a way for all of us virgins/people waiting till marriage, who are on this site, to interact personally between ourselves and find attraction and compatibility between ourselves, at our own slow-moving pace, that just isn't the same as the dating world outside today. Or there was a way for us to contact each other, suss each other out and hopefully find what we're looking for. There is a dating site for people who waited called wewaited but there's few women in the UK on it, there are still more in the US. I wish more people knew about this site and more like us joined there. So if you can please do. Do any of the other aunts have any ideas about where else we could try?I worry about myself and for younger people who I see post things on here that I felt when I was their age. I've spent a long time being alone and introspective due to circumstances life threw at me. I sometimes try to come up with answers to how I came to be like this. How did I come to be in this situation, with no seemingly possible simple exit out of it, despite having had a reasonably sane childhood, looks and personality that I know have felt attractive to attractive people of the opposite gender, a respectable job, etc. etc.? Where did I go wrong? As you go through life, you learn and see the black and white world you saw turning into grey. I appreciate people who made other lifestyle choices the same way as I do myself, but I'm just one of those who want what they want.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (14 March 2013):
 Pretty sure there are tons of people who wait, but mostly if they are religious. There might be those who are virgins just because they happened to not find someone they wanted to sleep with yet, but they wouldn't necessarily be willing to wait until marriage with having sex. A relationship can go on for years before you take the step for marriage, and the clue isn't to find a virgin (there's plenty of those), the clue is to find someone who has the same moral as you do, and someone who see it as morally right to wait with sex until marriage. And, seeing as waiting with sex until marriage is a moral code from religions... you'd have to find someone religious. Take any Mormon you see for instance.
Or someone who's just super scared of STD's and pregnancy outside of wedlock. But they are rarer to find than the religious ones.
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reader, daletom +, writes (14 March 2013):
I remember being almost 22 and sitting in my college graduation, watching many of my friends and acquaintances receive their diplomas. As some of the guys stepped down from the stage they were met by a wife or girlfriend (or both?) giving displays of affection that bordered on sexual assault. I thought, "Hey! I must be the ONLY guy here who has never been laid!". Well, it wasn't true then but it would be another 5 or 10 years before I really knew that, and I don't think it would be true now, either.
My wife and I were both 23 when we exchanged virginity (I gave her mine, and she offered hers) on our wedding night. I'm quite certain our daughter was a wedding-night virgin at 21, and probably our son also when he married at 30.
Keep in mind that teens tend to over-report their sexual activities, so some of your friends who claim to be sexually active in fact probably aren't. And, some of them who had sex on a dare, or due to pressure, or even just out of curiosity, will decide to wait for the "right person", or even wait for marriage, before they do it again.
Although they are certainly a minority, both boys and girls who don't have sex before marriage are still a sizable minority! Not very many advertise that fact, though. One reason is because they see themselves as more than just their sexuality. Sex is certainly important to them but it doesn't define them as a person. Virginity, or lack thereof, isn't the most important thing to be determined at the start of a relationship.
According to controlled studies by the National Center for Health Statistics, for men who were EVER married, about 1 in 12 waited. See Table 22, page 53, at http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/series/sr_23/sr23_026.pdf . (Yes, the percentage will be lower if it was based on ALL men, not just those who are married. And it will be lower if you counted, say, men under 40 who were ever married. But there ARE some out there!)
For women who have ever been married it's closer to 1 in 7. See Table 42, page 81, at http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/series/sr_23/sr23_025.pdf .
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reader, CMMP +, writes (14 March 2013):
It's like when people say "hair plugs look totally fake, I can see them from a mile away." But, the truth is that you only THINK you can see them all because you don't see the ones that look real.
My point is that you have it in your head that this or that is happening so you keep looking for evidence to support your beliefs. Knock it off and date. Find someone who's like you instead of worrying about people who aren't.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (14 March 2013):
 There MUST be. Not only Muslims. People tend to forget that , at least in theory, Christians too are supposed to abstain from premarital sex.
If you mix with religious people, it should be far from impossible to find your virgin partner. But probably he does not hang out in the same environment and places where you meet all the jerky guys.
While it is your right to save your virginity till marriage and to want a partner who does the same,though, this does not mean that people who does not share your choice of chastity till marriage are all jerks and sluts and cold hearted. They simply have chosen to live their sexuality in a different way than yours .
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2013): There's a whole lot of them. Some religions prohibit it so I'd say pretty much 80-90% of muslim men don't have sex before marriage.
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male
reader, SensitiveBloke  +, writes (13 March 2013):
 There are some men who will wait, but it tends to be for religious reasons.
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female
reader, llifton +, writes (13 March 2013):
 to be honest, there aren't many men OR women who wait til marriage these days. doesn't make them good or bad people. just a preference. either way, there are certainly some who wait. just not many. i personally know a couple of guys who waited til they were married. they were devout christian men.
if you're looking for a guy who is waiting, i'm going to definitely steer you in the direction of a christian dating site or something similar. most men or women who wait til marriage do it for religious purposes (of course, not always). good luck and don't give up hope! there are some out there!
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reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (13 March 2013):
 HI Unfortunately this is what the world has come to due to parental rights being changed ( thats another story lol ). YES there are still guys out there that want to wait for marriage first. not all guys are jerks, you just have to stand your ground, if he loves and respects you enough then he will wait, and thats when you know you have met the right guy.Mandy xxp.s sometimes you have to struggle through the rough before you find the diamond :D
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