A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Im 17 I'm a junior in high school and I have a problem. My prob is I think I might be a sex addict....so here's the catch:I'm still a virgin. I have never gone farther than making out and even that I have only done that two times. Both with the same guy who I dated for 3 years off and on. At that time it has been 10 consecutive months, but needless to say I move slow. Real slow. It's not that I don't know about it, I read A LOT. Trust me. And its not that I am un-prepared, I have a whole box of condoms and I am already on birth control. I just haven't found the right guy since my last bf and I broke up (he cheated, I'm over it now, we're still close friends, no big deal) Yet now I feel like ever since we broke up I am more, for lack of a better word,horny. Like every time I see a guy who I think is average to semi attractive at least my brain automatically thinks and invisions what their penis looks like and how it might feel, etc.. Every night I also get on my iPod and go to specific site and masturbate to porn. Some of it is kind of weird and I'm a little creeped out by the stuff that turns me on.I don't feel like I ever want to do these things but they still turn me on when I'm masturbating. So my question basically is when I do to find a new boyfriend that I do like enough to have sex with will I become a sex addict? Cuz I don't want to be but I feel like without I ask now it's bound to happen. Thanks for your help.
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broke up, condom, porn, sex addict, still a virgin Reply to this Question
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female
reader, nobleneekz  +, writes (22 March 2013):
Don't worry child, you will find the perfect guy who you will know we you ate ready bc you will know that he is the one for you! Don't rush it
A
female
reader, Red591 +, writes (20 March 2013):
 first off.......i hate to say this.......but your first time will most likely suck. It will cause a flow of emotions also that you need to be prepared for and you certainly don't want to do that with just anybody It will not live up to your fantasies until maybe mid twenties. Our bodies are stupid that way. In fact, when women want sex most is when men start to want it less. Nature can be sadistic
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (1 March 2013):
 Your not a sex addict. You are a teen with raging hormones. Watching porn and being excited by things that we would never do in real life is normal. That’s what fantasy is for.
I agree with chigirl you are way over thinking this.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2013): Don't worry its just your hormones due to your age.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (28 February 2013):
 You're over thinking this.
And, reading about something is VERY different from actually doing it. You're just a young, eager, hormone ridden teenager. All teenagers think about sex. Granted, teenage girls tend to think about babies, and shown in studies; teenage boys think about sex every 6th second.
You're not a sex addict, you're a curious virgin who wants to experiment. Besides, there's no such thing as being addicted to sex. At best it can be an obsessive compulsive disorder, but not an addiction.
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A
male
reader, fzald +, writes (28 February 2013):
Fantasy is a very important part of human sexuality. Practically everyone starts out their "sex life" by fantasizing about some sexual situation, often accompanied with masturbation. It's one of those things that make us very uniquely human.I agree with the other poster. You seem like you're in control of things. If you did meet a new guy and started dating, do you feel that you'd want to rip his clothes off and go to bed with him on the first date? To me it sounds like the answer would be a resounding "no".What you do on your own - masturbate to porn, fantasize about guys you see, etc - is your own business. (I'm certain you know that us guys do the same thing - when we see a girl who's wearing a revealing outfit, we can't help but imagine what her body might look or feel like! :-) )So enjoy yourself while you're single, experiment with your own sexuality, and when the right guy comes along, you'll know you're making the right decision. As for those "weird things" that turn you on - as long as you're not talking really perverse stuff like inflicting real injuries on people, also nothing to worry about. Sex "fetishes" have a horrible reputation, but honestly everyone has at least one thing that REALLY gets them going. Boobs, sexy voice, sexy legs, certain hair types, etc for us guys. All of those could be considered "by definition" fetishes. So again, don't worry if you have some unique sexual tastes - they're your own feelings, your own fantasies, and as long as you're not talking injuries or serious harm, you never know - you might find a guy who'll gladly join you!Best of luck!F
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A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (28 February 2013):
Dear OP,
No, I really don't think you will become a sex addict.
Sex has a different value and meaning in each time of our lives and as a virgin, it's very natural you're curious about it and fantasize about it a lot and wish to try out. And it's also natural to be very horny sometimes.
This doesn't mean you will obsess about it once you start. You actually sound like a girl who is in control of herself. You only do it with the right guy and that already shows you don't lose control of your desires, you can handle it.
Sex is only an addiction if it keeps you from attaining important goals in your life, if it causes you to take dangerous risks in order to get enough of it, if it's the center of your life for a long time and the only purpose you get together with someone, and if this all causes you pain.
You have condoms, you are on birth control, you're waiting for the right person= you are sensible and not addicted to anything. And you won't be.
Sex sometimes feels like a drug or something that overwhelms us. Desire IS a bit beyond control. I also fantasize a lot about sex, and I masturbate as well :). But that doesn't mean I act on all my fantasies and need more and more.
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