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This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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I really love him but feel like running away. I can't cope with the fact that he had a daughter from a one night stand
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together since June 2012. He had a one night stand with a friend before we ever got together. Turns out she got pregnant. When she found out he he had denied being the father because she had slept with other guys too. ...
A. 22 May 2013: I think it is important that when you talk to your boyfriend about this, you make it clear that this isn't some form of punishment. You wouldn't leave him and the relationship to punish him. Usually, relationships end because the twp partners start ... (read in full...)
I really love him but feel like running away. I can't cope with the fact that he had a daughter from a one night stand
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together since June 2012. He had a one night stand with a friend before we ever got together. Turns out she got pregnant. When she found out he he had denied being the father because she had slept with other guys too. ...
A. 21 May 2013: Thank you for your follow up. I think, in this case, you have to make a very difficult decision, but it is also the adult decision. To end the relationship. Not because he did anything wrong, not because you did anything wrong or somehow failed. But ... (read in full...)
I really love him but feel like running away. I can't cope with the fact that he had a daughter from a one night stand
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together since June 2012. He had a one night stand with a friend before we ever got together. Turns out she got pregnant. When she found out he he had denied being the father because she had slept with other guys too. ...
A. 21 May 2013: What about it is it that bothers you so much? You don't say. You mention that you grew up having daddy issues. Please explain, what do you mean by that? And how is that relevant to this? Do you resent him for not being careful enough to use ... (read in full...)
Would you date someone with so many tattoos? Or would you fear it would ruin your reputation?
Q. Today while on lunch break a friend said to me, very openly and out loud, "did you see all the tattoos on that guy's face? He must have been to prison!" I quietly nodded then thought of something... I was very attracted to another friend who had m...
A. 21 May 2013: "Would would date someone with so many tattoos?"
Yes. How people look is on the surface. It's the same as asking if I'd date a man with brown eyes, or a man with red hair.
"Would you fear it would ruin your reputation?"
No. Why would i... (read in full...)
Are relationships at 19 inevitably pointless?
Q. I'm 19 and currently at university, and I'm quite focused on stuff like my career, my studies, developing a good personality and making long-lasting friendships as that seems to be stuff that will last me for life and actually matter. Because I...
A. 21 May 2013: My thoughts:
None of these thoughts of your will matter the slightest to you once you fall in love. You will throw away all logic and other interests and run around after mr. Fantastic as if he was the sun and the air and the entire world. B... (read in full...)
I'm scared that my new boyfriend with his shady past may hurt me, or leave me!
Q. My boyfriend has a very shady past,he ws never in love,has had meaningless sex and not treated women thaat well! And I met him and the first 2 dates I thought may be he wants the same from me,but after those 2 dates he started liking me more,wan...
A. 21 May 2013: No, people don't really change. Not that fast, and not that much. And they don't ever change for the sake of others, they only change is that is what they want for themselves.. So no, do not count on a change until you actually see one. Again, do ... (read in full...)
I'm scared that my new boyfriend with his shady past may hurt me, or leave me!
Q. My boyfriend has a very shady past,he ws never in love,has had meaningless sex and not treated women thaat well! And I met him and the first 2 dates I thought may be he wants the same from me,but after those 2 dates he started liking me more,wan...
A. 20 May 2013: Uhm, there's a huge warning sign here. After just one date, he hinted towards sex. I really do hope you didn't jump into the sack with him. And, he told you he loves you very quickly. So quickly that I in fact can promise you: he does not love you. ... (read in full...)
How do I get over my girlfriend's past?
Q. My girlfriend (20) and I (19) go to the same college, and have been together for the past couple months. It's been, for the most part, an excellent relationship. We care for each other a great deal; heck, I think I'm in love with her. And, for the ...
A. 16 May 2013: You need to figure out why this bothers you. The reason will present the solution. ... (read in full...)
Ready to date. Where can I meet men outside my daily routine?
Q. It's been a year and a half since I last dated, and would like to date again. I'm looking for a long-term serious relationship but I don't know where to look. I want someone a bit older and more experienced so college isn't the ideal place to loo...
A. 14 May 2013: It's really difficult to tell you how to meet a guy when you say you don't have time to meet one and to top it off you don't even want to directly approach someone if you happen to actually meet them.
So it seems, you need to stop putting ... (read in full...)
I'm a slow learner, how do I manage this with my new job?
Q. I'm starting a new job next Monday. I'm real excited about it, but there's one thing that worries me. I'm kind of a slow learner, (slower than most people I know). In the past, that's really annoyed my supervisors and managers at other jobs. They...
A. 14 May 2013: When you don't understand something, you need to ask questions. My mind works in detailed ways.. I don't get the overall picture that easily, and if someone hasn't told me the finer details of how something functions I don't understand it. Example, ... (read in full...)
What are your views on no sex before marriage?
Q. I am Christian but nondenominational and I honestly can't decide whether I should wait till marriage and the most committed relationship possible to have sex or have fun, play the field and get experienced with boyfriends at college. I would love to ...
A. 14 May 2013: Why does it matter what others believe? If you believe in God then ask him what he thinks you should do. I'm a Christian too, however I didn't become one until I was up in my twenties. So for me it was never a question, I had sex before marriage, ... (read in full...)
She snuggled me, I kissed her, so what do I do next?
Q. There is this girl I really like. The last night on the way back to school from a gradventure field trip she called me over on the bus. She asked me if she could fall asleep on me. I told her that I didn't mind. As she was sleeping or at least she ...
A. 13 May 2013: Agreed, ask her and some other friends too, it takes the pressure off. ... (read in full...)
She snuggled me, I kissed her, so what do I do next?
Q. There is this girl I really like. The last night on the way back to school from a gradventure field trip she called me over on the bus. She asked me if she could fall asleep on me. I told her that I didn't mind. As she was sleeping or at least she ...
A. 12 May 2013: Going out at that age feels stiff and awkward. Well that's just my experience anyway. At that age I'd be too embarrassed to go on a "date". I much more preferred something less scary, which is why I think you shouldn't ask her out on a date, but ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's behavior has shaken me to my wounded, abandonment-fearing core. Am I the one who needs to work on my issues? Or is his behavior unacceptable?
Q. Can I trust my boyfriend? I have trust issues stemming from childhood (parental divorce, alcoholic parent, stressed out parent, etc). I've improved in the trust department, but still have a long ways to go. I live with my boyfriend of 2.5...
A. 12 May 2013: Yes, you are the one who needs to work on your issues. You were actively searching for "proof" of his disloyalty, so actively searching that your mind created a story that wasn't true, but you chose to believe it over believing your boyfriend. You ... (read in full...)
She snuggled me, I kissed her, so what do I do next?
Q. There is this girl I really like. The last night on the way back to school from a gradventure field trip she called me over on the bus. She asked me if she could fall asleep on me. I told her that I didn't mind. As she was sleeping or at least she ...
A. 12 May 2013: Yepp, green light. Ask her to come over and watch a movie with you, then snuggle up under a blanket and just hang out. See what happens next. ... (read in full...)
I found out I'm the other girl and I'm pregnant!
Q. I went on three dates with a guy(who said he was single)I had just met. We hooked up twice, and now I'm pregnant. We tried to make things work as a couple, but he ended that after less than a day, because he said it felt forced. We both decided to ...
A. 12 May 2013: Tell the other girl, I think that might be a start. Figure out if she's also pregnant, or has children. I normally would say it's none of your business to tell the gf/wife, but in this case you're pregnant so it's different. This is damage control, ... (read in full...)
I don't feel as close to my boyfriend as I think I should?
Q. Hey everyone. I'm 21 and my boyfriend is 25. We've been dating for 4 months. I'm not expecting him to tell me he loves me or anything but I feel very little intimacy with him. He talks about himself a lot and he seems to have a lot going for hi...
A. 9 May 2013: People think you have sex because at your age, and after 4 months in a relationship, most are having sex. Don't get offended by it, it's a natural question to ask.
But it is good that you aren't having sex, at least then the situation isn't wo... (read in full...)
For the girls: Would you be interested in a one night stand or short term fling with a guy who couldnt have penetrative sex?
Q. Question mainly for girls. I am an older guy, who is quite lucky as I still get plenty of attention from girls, smiles and signals on the street, at bus stops, shops etc. Also plenty of offers at work. Although, I have issues getting an erect...
A. 9 May 2013: So the results are: Try and see what happens. Bring a girl home for a one night stand. See the results. Report back to us if you please.
I think she wouldn't care too much, not if you can give her an orgasm. However any woman who goes home wit... (read in full...)
For the girls: Would you be interested in a one night stand or short term fling with a guy who couldnt have penetrative sex?
Q. Question mainly for girls. I am an older guy, who is quite lucky as I still get plenty of attention from girls, smiles and signals on the street, at bus stops, shops etc. Also plenty of offers at work. Although, I have issues getting an erect...
A. 9 May 2013: No, sorry. For a one night stand or short term affair I only want one thing, which is sex. If I wanted cuddles, massages, all of what you bring, then I'd get a boyfriend. If I want a one night stand I am doing it because I want sex.. pure and ... (read in full...)
He's asked me to be more aggressive during sex. Suggestions?
Q. So, my boyfriend has been asking me to be aggressive with him while we're having sex. His most recent request "I seriously want you to rape me sometime. Force me to do stuff like that, hit me, scratch me, bite me, punish me. Call me names. Pee on ...
A. 9 May 2013: Haha, well he already has told you what he wants you to do to him. So just give it a go. Test things out first, don't be super serious about sex. Just start trying something and see what happens. It doesn't have to be planned, just do things when ... (read in full...)
I let a date get out of hand and now I feel guilty
Q. So a lot has happened since the last time I was here OBVIOUSLY because I'm 17 now. Not much in the relationship/boy department just life in general... Until last night. SO Sunday, I met this boy. He was the friend of a friend and he asked me for ...
A. 9 May 2013: Just to clarify a few things, could you answer these questions:
How old is this other boy?
Did he also smoke?
Did he stop when you said no?... (read in full...)
I let a date get out of hand and now I feel guilty
Q. So a lot has happened since the last time I was here OBVIOUSLY because I'm 17 now. Not much in the relationship/boy department just life in general... Until last night. SO Sunday, I met this boy. He was the friend of a friend and he asked me for ...
A. 9 May 2013: This post makes me worried. Really. It is one thing to get high, which is illegal.. And then it progresses into sexual acts that you didn't intend to do. Rushed or not rushed, it sounds like you do things when under the influence that you normally ... (read in full...)
We had a fight and I haven't heard from him since
Q. Dear Cupid Its been a week since my bf ( or ex) called me. We had a fight a week back when he unloaded his frustation on me and called me names. Usually when he verbally abuses i wont fight back, this time i couldnt take it, so fought back. Sin...
A. 9 May 2013: Isn't it just as well that he hasn't contacted you? Look back on your relationship and the way he treated you. Name calling is unacceptable and crosses a line. It is a deal breaker. It doesn't matter if you broke up with him or he broke up with you, ... (read in full...)
I don't feel as close to my boyfriend as I think I should?
Q. Hey everyone. I'm 21 and my boyfriend is 25. We've been dating for 4 months. I'm not expecting him to tell me he loves me or anything but I feel very little intimacy with him. He talks about himself a lot and he seems to have a lot going for hi...
A. 9 May 2013: Are you having sex with him? Because how could he not want to get to know you if you are his girlfriend? If its not too early for sex then it is definitely not too early to get to know each other. Thing is, this is a character trait of his. Fighting ... (read in full...)
How do you help someone with a fear of flying?
Q. My boyfriend has a serious phobia of airplane rides. We've been dating for a year and will be taking our first international trip together soon. We're both looking forward to the trip itself but as our flight date approaches, he's becoming quite ...
A. 9 May 2013: The others give great advice. So just as a side note I will say that my step dad was afraid of flying too. The only time he wasnt scared at all was when he had been out all night drinking, slept for two hours, and then was like a zombie on the ... (read in full...)
Could this sudden change mean she cheated on me?
Q. Ok me and my girlfriend have been together for 8 years and it's been great til yesterday.we have sex almost everyday and her vagina is tight and hugs my penis and I can feel her uterus when I go deep until yesterday cause usually I have to go slow ...
A. 9 May 2013: More likely she was just more turned on. A large penis doesnt widen the vagina you see. She could have sex with a man with a large penis and her vagina wouldnt change. After all, babies can come out of there...amd the women can still have enjoyable ... (read in full...)
We are keeping things casual so how do I broach the subject of being exclusive without scaring him off or appearing needy?
Q. Hi everyone I think I'm being paranoid about this but just wanted a bit of advice. I've been seeing this guy for the last 2 or 3 months but neither of us want anything serious so we 're just keeping things casual and not telling any of our friends. ...
A. 2 May 2013: I don't think it will help to be exclusive if you're jealous when he just talks to other women... He's not having sex with them, he's talking to them, and maybe flirting. But you're the one who doesn't want anything serious.
You're NOT cut out ... (read in full...)
Planning to adopt a child and want to give them a name
Q. I'm a single woman and I'm starting the adoption process. Being a single parent doesn't bother me because I don't need a man to complete me and I was raised by a single father and I always knew I was loved unconditionally - I didn't need a mum ...
A. 30 April 2013: If you adopt then it's your child and you can call it whatever you want. No matter how old the child is, I think it is a good thing that you give it a name that YOU want it to have, as it will be a part of YOUR family. And then maybe keep their ... (read in full...)
Am I a lesbian?
Q. So im 14, I HAVE ALWAYS ALWAYS liked boys. I have many pictures of male celebs on my wall and phone. I have always made sure i looked good when a hot boy has walked past. Tried to impress boys make them like me. Started friendships and formed ...
A. 30 April 2013: You're not a lesbian. At least not now. Maybe you'll be a lesbian later on in life, or maybe bisexual, or maybe heterosexual. Sexuality changes. But as a teenager, you're just going through a PHASE where all the hormones are driving your body (and ... (read in full...)
He tells me that he loves me because I love him and it feels good to be loved my someone. Is that enough???
Q. My boyfriend and I are going on a trip and we'll be staying the night together at a hotel. I thought we would sleep together (for the first time), but he wanted to get a room with two separate beds. This bothered me because why wouldn't he want to ...
A. 30 April 2013: Oh, and this isn't because he's religious and wants to wait with sex until marriage, right? Because if it is, then he's smart to not sleep in the same bed as you because that leads to sex. No matter how much you tell yourself if wont lead to sex, it ... (read in full...)
He tells me that he loves me because I love him and it feels good to be loved my someone. Is that enough???
Q. My boyfriend and I are going on a trip and we'll be staying the night together at a hotel. I thought we would sleep together (for the first time), but he wanted to get a room with two separate beds. This bothered me because why wouldn't he want to ...
A. 30 April 2013: I think it's because he's so young. He's probably the same age as the OP, or that's my guess. And at that age some guys really are not there yet. Boys mature later than girls, and he might still be embarrassed about his body. Maybe it's not the ... (read in full...)
He tells me that he loves me because I love him and it feels good to be loved my someone. Is that enough???
Q. My boyfriend and I are going on a trip and we'll be staying the night together at a hotel. I thought we would sleep together (for the first time), but he wanted to get a room with two separate beds. This bothered me because why wouldn't he want to ...
A. 30 April 2013: He doesnt love you, at least not yet. You dont lover only because someone loves you and it feels good... Thats just him being comfortable, notfilled with love. As for the bed thing.. Hes probably just embarassed because he will get a hard on when ... (read in full...)
What he said to me made me so sick to my stomach that I didn't sleep all night. What are my options?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years we had a perfect relationship but then he got addicted to drugs. I had to become more of a mom figure to him. Then a girl friend due to everything he was getting himself into. But through it all I stuck by h...
A. 26 April 2013: You're not happy in this relationship. You've been hurt over and over, you've been a co-addicted since he was on drugs, and he cheated on you as well. You've been through so much with him, so much which NO ONE asked you to do. Don't think you get ... (read in full...)
How do other women handle the situation when their guy will not stop ogling other women?
Q. Posting a question about ogling here. I had this ogling issue and my now ex would tell me it was nothing, that my expectations were "too high", that I would never meet a man who didn't ogle and that I "shouldn't expect him to walk around with his...
A. 23 April 2013: It's not abusive behaviour to look at other women. If you refer to him hitting you or verbally abusing you by calling you names, putting you down, yelling at you etc, then ok. But ignoring you, taking you for granted, or looking at other women is ... (read in full...)
How do other women handle the situation when their guy will not stop ogling other women?
Q. Posting a question about ogling here. I had this ogling issue and my now ex would tell me it was nothing, that my expectations were "too high", that I would never meet a man who didn't ogle and that I "shouldn't expect him to walk around with his...
A. 22 April 2013: I haven't had one guy who was ogling other women. Not even back when I was dating junkies. If anything, they only had eyes for their dope. So I know your ex is wrong and just making excuses for himself. You definitely CAN find men who aren't ogling. ... (read in full...)
What is seeing a psychiatrist like?
Q. Hey all. I don't want to sit here and write a sob story but throughout my entire life (I am 18 right now) I have been through some really bad things. Not only am I not over the things that have happened in my past, but even right now in my life I am ...
A. 21 April 2013: Opps, sorry, need to correct myself. I haven't been to a psychiatrist, I've been to a psychologist. I forgot about the difference for a while. I don't know how a psychiatrist is, other than I know they give you medication, whereas a psychologist ... (read in full...)
What is seeing a psychiatrist like?
Q. Hey all. I don't want to sit here and write a sob story but throughout my entire life (I am 18 right now) I have been through some really bad things. Not only am I not over the things that have happened in my past, but even right now in my life I am ...
A. 21 April 2013: I liked it. Of course, it varies from person to person if it will benefit you, but you sound like someone who would benefit from it. Because you're open to the idea of talking to one. Not all people are willing to take a chance and open up to a ... (read in full...)
Anyone else with experience of Psoriasis?
Q. Hi everyone i am 26 and just found out i have psoriasis does anyone else have this problem and do you know any natural treatments didn't know where else to ask thank you...
A. 21 April 2013: Don't scratch and provide lots of ventilation? Those are the only two I know of, in addition to seeing your doctor and getting some creams to help. ... (read in full...)
How do you help someone who doesn't want help?
Q. My sister is in her mid-20s. Five years ago, she was in a relationship for 3 months. When it ended, she fell into a depression, which she has allowed herself to remain in ever since. This means that she has spent 20 times more grieving the end of ...
A. 21 April 2013: This isn't normal. Without me being a professional, it sounds not normal. I think your sister suffers from depression. It can be genetically, and that it was in her mind, just waiting for a catalyst. And then this break-up, however minor it should ... (read in full...)
I broke her heart with the high school thing. How do I tell her that I did so bad they took me off of aid? There's no easy way to tell her and I've held off for months.
Q. Hello everyone, My relationship with my mother has always been strained. We never do the traditional hug/kiss/I love you mom! thing. I just never understood it, however, I do understand that she cares for me and wants the best for me. I want to ma...
A. 21 April 2013: Also, have you considered part time studying? Taking fewer classes in the semester? I didn't take 100% studies, I took around two out of three classes each semester until my final year of my bachelors. I did this because I was working on the side, ... (read in full...)
I broke her heart with the high school thing. How do I tell her that I did so bad they took me off of aid? There's no easy way to tell her and I've held off for months.
Q. Hello everyone, My relationship with my mother has always been strained. We never do the traditional hug/kiss/I love you mom! thing. I just never understood it, however, I do understand that she cares for me and wants the best for me. I want to ma...
A. 21 April 2013: Does your mom know you take up loans? You NEED to tell her. It is ridiculous that you should take up loans like that, when still living at home. If you were to live on your own you would surely get some form of government support, would you now? ... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
