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I masturbate to photos of girls I know. What do I say if they find out?

Tagged as: Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 March 2014) 10 Answers - (Newest, 20 March 2014)
A male United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I am a 16 year old guy. I am constantly on social networking. I've many a time found myself looking at my friend's who are girls pictures. I have a tendency to masturbate to people I know and I never feel guilty about it. Is this wrong? Does this mean anything? How do I explain this to them if they find out?

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (20 March 2014):

chigirl agony auntYou're normal, you're not doing anything wrong, and they wont find out as long as you make sure not to tell anyone you do this, and only do it when you are absolutely sure you are alone.

We all use our imagination and it's not at all uncommon to masturbate to people we know, although it varies from person to person. Some do, some don't. Both are normal.

And, being a teenage boy, it is veeeery normal to masturbate to just about anything that moves. This urge to masturbate will decrease as you grow older and become an adult, but while a teenager your hormones are raging and causing you to be the most horny you will ever be in your entire life. So, no, don't worry about it.

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A male reader, Gauntlet France +, writes (20 March 2014):

Gauntlet agony auntThat's funny. That's really funny. Tons of studies pointed out the general fact that men were used to masturbate to porn stars pics (because they often didn't have any known women pictures, otherwise they would do it to it equally) while women tended to rub their own genitals while fantasising about men they knew for real. Men and women brain's chemistry is a little bit different - once again, generally speaking - and it's like that from the beginning of the world.

By the way just take a look at the comments below, as they speak volume: men often find it "normal" to masturbate to a known woman picture while women seem to feel it disgusting. They tell us women would be freaked out to find out a man masturbates to their pictures, yet I bet a lot of men would be totally turned on by the same discovery.

Definitely, men and women have to communicate a lot, but they have to keep their secret garden too.

Conclusion: keep your own secret garden secret and NEVER EVER make a girl find out you beat your meat thinking of her. Reversely once you will have a gf/wife, you will learn how she will demand you to fantasise just about her and if she only admits your right to masturbate, she will demand you to do it just thinking of her.

Two days ago, an "aunt" said men's mind worked bizarrely, but hey ! Women's mind too, that's not to be demonstrated.

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A male reader, methuselah United Kingdom +, writes (20 March 2014):

Hi,

There is nothing wrong with this and it is your own private pleasure. Keep it private to yourself.

I'm older, I didn't have internet usage as a teenager so I used to use my imagination for a girl I liked or use a newspaper picture of a favourite celebrity.

Was it creepy? Not in my thinking. As long as you keep everything private and do not ever tell anyone about what you do then I can't see it being a problem.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2014):

JUST DON'T SAY ANYTHING. Obviously. How would anyone ever find out?

Everyone masturbates with different thoughts, pictures, etc. There's nothing wrong with you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2014):

No it's not wrong, it's harmless as long as no one ever finds out.

It doesn't mean anything other than you have attractive friends you use in wank fantasies, most of us have.

I have tonnes of times although it was before Facebook so I just used my imagination. I don't see any difference between using my imagination and using actual pictures from Facebook.

You don't explain it to them because you keep your fantasies to yourself, OP. Especially this kind of fantasy as girls will think it's creepy as hell and rightly so, they think most male fantasies are creepy because they've been raised to think men fantasising about them is dirty and sinful, or makes him dangerous and weird.

OP just be smart and never let people find out, it's not hard. Just make sure you never save them and only use them as they appear on Facebook, and never leave them just open on your desktop for people to find them.

If anyone ever asks or makes a joke about it, or admits to doing it themselves, don't use that as a reason to tell people. Just never admit to it. It really is a big deal for girls if they find this out, most won't appreciate it at all because guys masturbating has been equated with being a loser or being perverted in society. They've been raised to think that guys having a sexual interest in them and fantasising about them is oppressive, but it's not as long as that's not the only way you see them. But women can't tell the difference, they really can't see how we can appreciate a woman's body and her mind. They've been trained to think if a guy likes their body then he's evil and can't like anything else.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2014):

It doesn't matter what you would say. The right thing for them to do, is report it to someone. The only way they would find out, is if you told them; or told someone you know.

I think we should be careful here. I won't say you're creepy. I would say you are a boy going through puberty and what you're doing is pretty common in these days of social media.

Masturbation is private, and only to be shared with a willing and interested partner. That is over-sharing in a most unhealthy way.

Offering such intimate information about yourself to people who do not wish to hear it, is deviant and illegal behavior.

It would be most inappropriate taking pictures of people without their permission. It might be a better practice to find another source of material for your visual pleasure.

I would strongly suggest that you didn't get used to picking pictures of girls you know. Keep details regarding your masturbation to yourself. Sharing with us is good; because we can offer you advice and guidance about it.

There is nothing wrong with the act of masturbation; but there are some rules you should follow.

The safest thing to do, is use your imagination. Your imagination is good enough; and then there is no question of "creepiness." Unless you find you can't help yourself. Then you should be worried. You may need counseling before it turns into behavior that could land you in jail.

The mind can be tricky. Some things start out innocent enough; then it can turn weird and not so healthy.

If you are tempted to tell them, there may be something wrong. No one would want to hear that. Their reaction would embarrass both you, and the person you told. I don't think you would be happy knowing someone is disgusted with you. We all prefer to be liked and respected by other people.

Don't ever speak openly to any girl about your private habits. Not if you want to be able to go to school, and not thought to be out of your mind.

Imagine this. Some guy you know masturbating to a picture of you. What would YOU expect him to say, if YOU found out?

You'd feel better off not knowing, and would rather he didn't tell you. Keep this in mind at all times.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2014):

No I don't find it creepy, just don't let them find out it's your own private way to get off. However, it's nicer when you only masturbate to one girls photo whom you really like. But don't tell them that you wank to them.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2014):

How they can possibly find out. The only way for them to find out is for youto tell them.

Why would you even think about them finding out. It's the same thing as to ask if someone can read your thoughts at one point.

I am not sure if any girl would be flattered by finding out that you masturbate looking at her pictures, but we all have fantazies, girls do it too, imagining some guy that they know and who they like.

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A male reader, jc2008 United Kingdom +, writes (20 March 2014):

Being totally honest and I'm sure I might get flamed for saying this... I think that it is normal. I'm 30 and in the days before social networking and internet porn, I would always fantasise over people who I knew or saw in real life that I find attractive. I'm sure there are boys and girls who have fantasised over you. No one wants to admit it because yes it is also creepy but I think everyones done it especially in their teenage years. So don't feel guilty about it, we are all entitled to an imagination, just keep it to yourself because once the toothpase is out of the tube it ain't going back!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (20 March 2014):

Honeypie agony auntIs it wrong? In the sense that they don't know you USE their pictures and you are being creepy (sorry if you take their pictures from Facebook or what not, and wank to them, THAT is creepy in my book).

I suggest you think about it a bit. YOU are making girls you know into your personal "porn stars", you are OBJECTIFYING them. Because if that comes out you will find yourself ostracized from your peers, specially the girls. Guys might not find this offensive at all.

My thing is though, how would they find out? Do you tell anyone about it?

If you keep on doing it, and I suspect you will, I would suggest you don't tell anyone. Because most girls would be creeped out, not flattered.

How would you feel if some DUDE sat and looked at your Facebook/Social Site pictures and wanked while looking at you? You think that would be great?

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