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The relationship is done but I can't bring myself to end it

Tagged as: Faded love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 March 2014) 3 Answers - (Newest, 31 March 2014)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Thankyou for taking the time to read my question, hopefully you can help me.

I've been with my boyfriend for around a year and a half and I feel like the relationship isn't working anymore. After much thought I've realised that the best thing for both of us is to end it. We've sat and discussed this multiple times and we've both said that we want to be together but we don't know how to make it work. A relationship shouldn't be this hard and especially not this soon. As much as I want it to work and get better I can't see it happening anytime soon and I get so down thinking about the relationship and how it is. I know that walking away is the best option because I'm not happy and I know that it's not right to be in a unhappy relationship.

My problem is as much as I want to end it and be able to move on, I just can't bring myself to do it. I think it's because I am still in love with him and I guess I have hope that it can get better but I know it's not right. I'm not a very outgoing person and I guess I'm scared to be alone and won't meet someone else.

If you could please give me some advice on what to do and how to go about this that would be great. Thankyou

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (31 March 2014):

chigirl agony auntRemind yourself that you will find someone else. You will find many, actually. And the experience of this relationship is what will make the others better.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (30 March 2014):

aunt honesty agony auntI know it is a scary thought being on your own and at the moment your boyfriend is your security blanket. But you have both sat down and talked about this, you both know that the relationship is not going any where but you are both scared of being alone, which off course is completely natural. If you don't see a happy future for you both it will only become harder as time passes. Life is to short to waste time on the wrong person.

I know it can be scary and off course you will both be sad if it does end but believe me you will meet someone else.

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A female reader, lovescatalinaisland United States +, writes (30 March 2014):

Hello,

I was in the same situation, Ive had long time boyfriend for 3 years. I was very scared to let him go, the spark was gone. I didn't feel the butterflies in my stomach anymore. I didn't feel motivated to see him.. Or to fix myself to look pretty. I didn't look forward to seeing me... My situation is that he loves me so much that it was so hard to see that I don't feel the same anymore.. Every time I would instigate a fight and I would break up with him I feel like I can go on without him.. I always always end up calling him because im not used to being without him. I am comfortable with him. I feel safe.

I met a guy who I really liked while in a relationship with my bf and so I broke up with him. Me and him only stayed together for 3 months then he left me too... I tried going back to my ex and he didn't want me back. He was broken hearted. Now, I'm alone and wishing I could go back in time and wish I had worked harder to make it work with him. I gave up easily on him.

My advice is to do everything you can to make it work, don't have the same regrets as I do. Go on a trip, even just for the weekend ,go to a romantic placement focus on him and on all the goofs things about him... Reminisce what made you love him in the first place. I wish I woulda done these for my ex.

Good luck and stay strong,

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