A
female
age
30-35,
*idsummer
writes:Everytime i go out dancing with my friend (girl), I meet a really cool guy we have a good time, and at the end of the night they ask for my number. I give it to the ones I like, and they always end up not calling/ messaging. I'm sick and tired of that. Why would someone act so friendly, and caring to later on ignore you?. I know that most guys that go out to club aren't looking for a relationship. But how about some common courtesy? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2014): Brutal honesty? Because you seemed like a good idea while they were drunk but when they sobered up they though otherwise.
I've done it plenty of times and then been left with the painful decision of crushing her self esteem by being honest or just not calling and her think I'm cowardly asshole. I'd have rather she thought I was just an inconsiderate asshole than apologise for taking her number and telling her I only did it because I was drunk. That was until I figured out the girlfriend excuse, and just text them apologising for getting their number but that I have a girlfriend and will be deleting it. That way she still thinks I'm asshole but she then has peace of mind and is not left waiting.
That can actually be a real reason too though, OP. Another reason is that your number wasn't the only one they got that night. Another is that they don't even remember getting it, that's happened me a few times. As Chi said there is the courageous while drunk thing to consider.
Common courtesy doesn't come into play in a club while drunk, OP, it's a not bowls tournament you're attending. It's a sexually charged, grinding, twerking sweat pit.
You want that to change? Swap numbers instead of just giving yours out. They'll be more likely to message you that way. They know you have their number then and will probably end up messaging them and I don't know why but that does make people more inclined to message. if they don't then you can be the one to break the ice and message them first.
Other than that, OP, as annoying as it is you really have to get used to it. It's what happens in clubs. I mean I've had nights out where the only goal was to see who could get the most numbers, or get the most kisses. At your age clubs are still about those immature games.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (1 April 2014):
 Because they were doing some window shopping.
It's like when you go out for, say, a pair of shoes. You won't actually buy all the shoes that may catch your fancy. Probably you will move fom a window shop to another saying within yourself " Oh those look cool, nice heels " " mmmhh... those flats too aren't half bad " " these boots are very nice " " lovely sneakers " and so on and so forth. But eventually you will only decide for one pair of shoes or two . Or maybe, actually, you did not even want any shoes to begin with , you were just admiring , and killing time.
These guys with the phone numbers , it's like they were bringing home the pics of all the nice shoes they have seen, which could be 10, 15, 20.... but they are not going to necessarily BUY all the shoes they have taken pics of.
Don't take these phone nos thing too seriously. Often it just means that you have caught their fancy there and then, for that night only. Of course , not always. Every now and then you will also chance into some serious shoe buyer, pardon, admirer, one who actually wanted your number because he actually wants to ask you out, and in this case he will do it quite soon. But if you really fancy someone,and feel you must absolutely seize your chance, then you ask HIM his phone no. and you call him first.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (1 April 2014):
 Don't hand out numbers then.
I think it's because they are cowards. They were drunk and while drunk they had the courage to ask. But the day after, they sober up, and realize they have no courage after all.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (1 April 2014):
 My guess is that if they ask for your number, YOU will think they are interested.
Some guy (and girls too) play games when they go out. Some are not even single, yet might still ask a girl for her number, just to see if "he/she" still got it.
My advice is, if you met a guy you are interested in WHY don't YOU get his number? Why only leave it up to them to contact you?
And maybe to try and not take people you met in a night club too serious (as in something can come of this) IT IS possible that something can, if BOTH parties aren't drunk, and BOTH parties want to actually met in the daylight and get to know the other person.
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