A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey so I'm 19 and I recently lost my virginity to a 28 year old anyway we were sort of together with no labels for two and a half months. He decided to block and delete me out of his life as he was "falling" for me I know I was used worst thing is I've missed my period the sex was unprotected as I forgot to take the pill. I am currently 13 days late and unsure what to do? I've been having symptoms but I'm sure if they are all psychological. Should I take a test or just wait it out and see if I have a period next month? Do I try and contact him and tell him I've missed my period and I'm going to take a test? (the option I'd like to do as I'm scared and don't want to go through this alone but I'm also nervous if I do this he'll think I'm lying or trying to trap him) or do I leave it and just wait and see then if I do test and worst comes to worst positive tell him then? Or do I just not tell him at all even if it comes back positive. Thanks
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female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (2 April 2014):
 Agree that you should take a STD tests as well as a pregnancy test. It's not much fun but go to a family planning clinic and get it all done.
Your stress levels may the cause of the late period, but you still need to get the all clear and not just on the possible pregnancy.
Don't reach out to him unless you are pregnant and decide to keep the baby - in that case, tell him and let the Child Support agency deal with his financial responsibilities.
Take care, hope all comes back clear, and use condoms with a future boyfriend, at least until the point you're fairly sure he won't do a runner (and has been screened for STDs).
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2014): This guy is trouble. Falling for you so he left you? ermmmmmm.... isn't it meant to work like the OTHER way around?
Please go get checked for STDs as well as a pregnancy test. I see you're in the UK. Savers do a pregnancy test for under £2 which was highly accurate when I was pregnant.
And no, don't contact him!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2014): I don't need to tell you that this guy is bad news and his excuse is bullshit. He wasn't falling for you, he used you that's that.
I also need to make it clear OP, that this pregnancy scare better not be your way of making an excuse to contact him. Stay away from him, he's more trouble than he's worth.
I agree with the others, get tested. The only thing I want to add is to get more than one piss test. False positives/negatives are common, three tests is a safe bet.
There's no point in waiting, OP, do you really want to spend another fortnight worrying about this?
Oh and as far as not going through it alone contact your best friend and get them help you out. I'll say it one last time, the guy used you, do not use this as a pathetic attempt to contact him, he will not be helpful and if you are pregnant he'll be even less helpful.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (1 April 2014):
 Before saying anything to anyone, get tested and confirm whether or not you're pregnant. That seems a no brainer to me.If you're not pregnant, there is no reason to tell anyone. If you are, assume you're going it alone. If he didn't want to see you anymore, then fine. That's his choice, but the reason he gave you for cutting you out of his life is bologne. He wasn't falling for you at all. And a reasonable man would not assume a woman was diligent about taking the pill. This guy was willing to take the chance because he didn't care if you became pregnant. He wasn't planning on sticking around either way. This speaks volumes about him and the kind of father he'd be. Honestly, I wouldn't even bother telling him. He either won't care or he'll be a nuisance.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (1 April 2014):
 if you took your pill as soon as you forgot then it's probably ok...
worry and stress can make you late too.
best advice... go get a pregnancy test.. Pee On A Stick (POAS) and see what it says.
NO need to contact him if you are negative. (but test again in a week or two if you don't get your period)
If you are positive, then regardless of what you want to do you should contact him and let him know. HE has a right to know he's fertile and/or going to be a father.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (1 April 2014):
 .. You should take a test. What is there to wonder about? You wouldn't be having symptoms this early on, so if you ask me I don't think you're pregnant. I think you are stressing because you just got dumped in a cold and cruel manner, and you skipped your period. And now you are stressing yourself out even more because of the skipped period.
But why all this stress?! Just take the test and get it confirmed whether or not you are pregnant, and then if you aren't pregnant I would try to relax, because stress is known to make you skip (or get an extra) period.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (1 April 2014):
 The first thing to do is determine IF you are pregnant. Take a home pregnancy test or go to your doctor, or go to a planned parenthood center. Get yourself tested for STD's also. If you're not pregnant, then no problem right? Just make sure you always use protection so you never have to go through this again.
IF you are pregnant, then you need to sit down and figure out what it is you want to do. This is when you would contact the guy but considering that he blocked and deleted you I certainly wouldn't count on him being part of the future.
Ask yourself these questions: Do you want a baby? Can you take care of a baby? Can you afford a baby? Can you see yourself being responsible for a child for at least 18 years? Do you have a family/support system?
Would you want to have an abortion? Adopt? All these things need to be considered very carefully. They aren't questions that you need to have answers to overnight, you do have a limited amount of time to make decisions.
I have been where you are sweetie. I was only 19 and found out I was pregnant. I loved the guy but we had only been dating for 3 months. This was 33 years ago and "good girls" didn't have children out of wedlock. He wanted to get married, I didn't. We got married, I had the baby and 2 years later got divorced and I was a single mom. I survived as did my daughter. My daughter is now 32.
No matter what happens, you'll be ok. Just make your choices wisely from here on out. We all make mistakes.
I wish you all the best.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2014): OP--Did you miss one pill? Or two or more? What did you do once you realized you missed it?It makes a big difference. I hope you followed the instructions for what to do when you miss a day.If you're still on birth control pills you may not get a period (also, FYI, technically it's called "withdrawal bleeding" if it's not preceded by ovulation) but that doesn't mean you're pregnant.Definitely take a test and don't mention it to him unless it's positive. I'm going to guess that it's negative, but you never know. Did he pull out?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2014): If that *is* the OP, don't punish yourself, just learn from it, take the necessary precautions in future and do what you need to do now to find out whether you're pregnant of not.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2014): Hey guys it's the OP I know what I did was stupid and both loosing my virginty and the unprotected thing. I'm an idiot and I know I've been stupid but I've been punishing myself since I didn't plan on saving my virginty for so long for some guy it just happened and I hate myself for it but right now I just need help on what to do. Thanks for the advice :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2014): You lost your virginity to a guy you were in an unofficial relationship/arrangement. I think that was silly, IF you wanted to have something more solid before that step.
Take a test and, no matter what the results, use the pill AND condoms when you're having sex and don't want a baby.
I don't think you should tell him until you know (only if it's positive!) because it's only going to cause trouble for you if it's false.
Don't panic, just get the test done asap and then deal with the consequences. Find support in a friend or family member, not a flaky user.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (1 April 2014):
 You go down and buy a pregnancy test. If it tests positive, you tell him, if it tests negative, you go see your doctor and get a blood test done (pee on a stick are these days pretty accurate, but not infallible - blood tests are pretty much fool proof.)
Then you DECIDE before calling what YOU want to do, bearing in mind that if you choose to stay pregnant and keep the baby he might be a total no show and you will have to do it alone, or if you want to consider adoption or abortion. THIS is your choice. I know it's not an easy choice to make, but it is YOURS to make.
THEN.... you call him. IF it is positive, if not - then move on and get on some birth control and NEVER have unprotected sex again. Unprotected sex is not only dumb, it is 100% PREVENTABLE.
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