A
female
age
30-35,
*riaz
writes:my friend has been making weird references about me and our mutual friend, and I'm a little confused by his behavior.yesterday he suddenly brought this up:him: You still like ____ huhme: ____? what about _____?him: You still like him?me: like him how? What are you talking about?him: Lol Nevermindme: you like him?him: Yeah but he doesn't think I'm cuteand previously, he and many of my other friends made multiple references about me being this guy "boo/girl", which i pretended not to hear. He's also asked me whether or not i would go out with him, to which I replied I don't know. They were silent after i responded, so idk what happened.Is he looking for a certain answer? How should I respond the next time he brings it up?I'm not too sure what's going on...can anybody help? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (24 March 2014):
 You're very welcome. Being too timid to approach you does not mean he's a bad guy. Just that he's too afraid to risk rejection, but why should you take all the risks? If he won't venture, he won't gain and the world will pass him by, just like you're going to do. Best of luck.
A
female
reader, priaz +, writes (23 March 2014):
priaz is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell thats not very mature of him...I dont know what I was thinking...youre right chigirl. Its his loss, not mine. Thanks everyone!
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (23 March 2014):
 OP, that's how insecure guys show a girl they like her... they avoid her. Because they worry they will have an erection if they get too close. Or, they worry she will notice his affection and laugh at him. So, they stay away. It's very typical. He likes you.
The question is more... how can you like a guy who avoids you? I'd be offended, not hopefully wishing for a date...
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (23 March 2014):
Your follow up changes nothing.
Either the guy does fancy you but is too timid to approach (his loss) or he isn't interested and is trying to distance himself from you to stop people's wagging tongues.
I still wouldn't divulge romantic feelings or affection for someone to a nosy third party, especially when that person goes out of their way to avoid me.
Same answer, OP.
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A
female
reader, priaz +, writes (23 March 2014):
priaz is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBut guy A hardly talks to me. When we're hanging out with a group of friends, its like hes trying to avoid me. He leaves if a approach, and sits as far away as possible from me.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (21 March 2014):
Oh, I thought you probably did not like A as more than a friend. Well, then do as Ciar said. Do not tell B you wouldnt mind a date. This is something you need to talk to A about, and not involve other people in.
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (21 March 2014):
It certainly seems like a fishing expedition. I would decline to answer any more questions and simply respond with something like 'That is something X and I should discuss between ourselves.'
If this mutual friend fancies you he really should approach you privately himself. Why should you go out on a limb and confess to having feelings for him while he hides behind others? And if he hasn't enlisted these people to make enquires on his behalf then they really should mind their own business.
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A
female
reader, priaz +, writes (21 March 2014):
priaz is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni never said I liked him, which is why i'm confused.
He is cute, and a sweet guy, I wouldn't say no if he did ask me out.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (20 March 2014):
This mutual friend of yours (lets call him A) has a crush on you, and the other friend (lets call him B) is trying to fish out of you whether A has a shot with you or not.
Be firm next time you answer these questions. Do you like A as a friend only? Then say so strictly next time you are asked, or next time this topic comes up. If you are not given any explanation for why you are being asked about having feelings for A, I would actually just settle with the idea that A does indeed have a crush on you. However, asking A about this directly will probably just make things awkward.
Just be very firm with your answer next time and don't leave the question hanging in the air. Or else you're giving B the impression that you in fact have feelings for A, and B will just keep asking, in order for you and A to hook up, and A will just fall even harder.
Btw, what's with the formulation "do you STILL like.." Have you at one point liked A as more than a friend or not?
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