| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
|
At a crossroads, getting divorced, not a US citizen, with no friends or family in Europe
Q. I am in a process of a divorce and I am leaving to Europe. I was marriaged for 15 years to an american and now we decided to split up. I dont have anyone in the USA,only my husband´s friends and family which are not that much of my friends and ...
A. 13 December 2013: Let me guess... all the posters who say you should stay in USA and who claims everyone wants to live in USA.. They are Americans, probably. They think life is harder in Europe, and that's not true. The financial crisis hit USA harder than Europe.
... (read in full...)
Long term relationship and no engagement!
Q. I need advice on what I should do with my dating situation. I have been dating my boyfriend for about 7 1/2 years, He is 40 years old now and i am 26, he was married before and has two boys one's 18 years old and the other 16. I tell my boyfriend ...
A. 13 December 2013: He sounds like a dead end if it is marriage you want.. At his age, and after 7 years.. You kinda do know. I think you need to propose to him to finally get an answer. Are you prepared to leave if the answer is no?... (read in full...)
My boyfriend said he would feel uncomfortable around my gay friend!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 5 months now and I want him to meet my friends. He hasn't met them already yet as there hasn't been an opportunity for him to. So I asked him the other day if he would like to come and watch one of my friends ...
A. 13 December 2013: Just let them meet and dont make a big deal out of it. Your bf is just nervous, because he thinks it might be a big deal (like if he was meeting the president). Let him worry if he wants to, but carry on as normal. Introduce and let them meet. He ... (read in full...)
She is always in the same clothes! I'm getting fed up!
Q. I have been in an relationship for 8minths going strong but I am getting fed up about certain things. My girlfriend lives with her mum and doesn't have much money. She has two outfits, and all she has worn since we been together. I offered to b...
A. 12 December 2013: When I was 12/13 I wasn't popular at all. I did not have nice clothes. We were poor and my mom never bought me clothes unless they would last two years, were water proof and wind proof. Of course, never the latest fashion.
One girl in my class in... (read in full...)
At a crossroads, getting divorced, not a US citizen, with no friends or family in Europe
Q. I am in a process of a divorce and I am leaving to Europe. I was marriaged for 15 years to an american and now we decided to split up. I dont have anyone in the USA,only my husband´s friends and family which are not that much of my friends and ...
A. 12 December 2013: Its going to be a short reply from me, because I don't think there is much else to say but this: Going to Europe sounds like a good idea. That is where you have most connections now. That is where you will feel more at home, because that is where ... (read in full...)
I'm considering changing my personality to become a jerk in order to date!
Q. So, I've recently, after the same bullshit of "I see you more as a friend", decided to change myself into the complete opposite of what I am now, knowing that it will take a long time. Today I behave like a Gentlemen when dating, red roses as a ...
A. 11 December 2013: Just carry on as you are. The attitude is already in place, so the rest will follow naturally. Just hope you find what you are looking for. ... (read in full...)
Do I date him? I find his personality crazy attractive, but I just don't find him very attractive.
Q. Hi, first of all thank you so much for any help! I'm in a bit of a bind. Backstory: I'm a freshman in college, and I entered college not looking for a relationship. In HS I had two year and a half long relationships, and I entered college wanting ...
A. 11 December 2013: Tell him you are not interested in him in that way abd stop sleeping with him. Its not that difficult to keep your legs crossed. If you get too drunk to say no then dont get that drunk. He obviously likes you and you are just using him. You arent ... (read in full...)
Which is more important in a partner: being physically attractive, or being good in bed?
Q. I have a general question for everyone. Do you prefer a partner who is good looking but boring in bed, or a partner who is average looking but good in bed?...
A. 8 December 2013: No doubt, I'm going for good in bed. ... (read in full...)
He tried to stick me with the bill on our first meeting ...
Q. I met this guy who I thought really likes me. We exchanged phone numbers, and few days later he offered to meet. So we go for a walk in one of the cool areas of the city, and we walk and walk, walk and walk, talk and around 2 p.m. I felt naut...
A. 8 December 2013: It seems to me, reading through the answers of the others, the easy and best solution to fix any bad guilt on behalf of waitresses, and to also know if he lied or not, would be to call the restaurant.
"Hello, I was visiting yesterday with a m... (read in full...)
He tried to stick me with the bill on our first meeting ...
Q. I met this guy who I thought really likes me. We exchanged phone numbers, and few days later he offered to meet. So we go for a walk in one of the cool areas of the city, and we walk and walk, walk and walk, talk and around 2 p.m. I felt naut...
A. 7 December 2013: I think he was lying. Who leaves the house these days without money? He is a grown man, not a child. You were in no way responsible for him. Scheez, hes not a toddler whos hand you need to hold and call to make sure he got home safe. Who orders TWO ... (read in full...)
When dating, does it REALLY matter when you get intimate?
Q. This is mostly aimed at the men on here but women, feel free to give your opinion and experiences as well. I was wondering when dating and hoping to turn it into a relationship, does it really matter how soon the couple has sex? I have read articles ...
A. 6 December 2013: People are different. But men are the same as women in this department, so all you have to do is ask yourself: would you lose respect and be less interested in a man if he tried to have sex with you on the first date?
Because I would not see that... (read in full...)
Things are going well with this new guy but I don't know whether to tell him I have a boob job scheduled
Q. Hi aunts, I've been seeing a guy for the last week and we seem to be getting on great and getting quite close. We're going on our third date Monday and already have our forth arranged. We speak everyday and I couldn't be happier right now. O...
A. 6 December 2013: "Part of me wants to tell him, but im scared he will be put off by this factor and I'm nervous about opening up to him about my insecurities"
First off, if HE will be put off by you having a boob job, and if the opinion of random men you go on da... (read in full...)
Can our relationship last with his friends and family hating me and blaming me for the problems we've had, when my B/f was clearly in the wrong?
Q. Is there any hope for our relationship? I had a wonderful relationship with my partner for the first 5 years, then in the fifth year I found out he'd been meeting up with an ex partner. They both swore nothing happened but they had met several ...
A. 5 December 2013: The real problem isnt what his friends and family think. That doesnt matter at all. The real problem is that HE is the one who tells his family and friends you are like this and that. He is the one who feeds them these thoughts. He is the only one ... (read in full...)
What does it take to attract a woman beyond friendship?
Q. I am seriously confused by this. No matter what I do, how hard or little I try, how direct or subtle I am about my intentions, women only seem to want to be “just friends” with me. At this point I’m pretty sure I’ve heard it all. “You’re such a ...
A. 5 December 2013: You are coming off way too strong with making steel roses that take three days. That would scare most girls away. Leave such things for when you actually are in a relationship. Instead you need to be charming and atttract her with yourself. Not ... (read in full...)
What does it take to attract a woman beyond friendship?
Q. I am seriously confused by this. No matter what I do, how hard or little I try, how direct or subtle I am about my intentions, women only seem to want to be “just friends” with me. At this point I’m pretty sure I’ve heard it all. “You’re such a ...
A. 4 December 2013: What type of woman are you going for? The solution is probably to change hunting grounds, as well as test out new techniques.... (read in full...)
People tell me she's fake because she had a nose job
Q. So I've started dating this girl who is so beautiful, funny and one of the sweetest girls i've met she's so down to earth and adorably innocent but daring if you understand that. She told me the other day on our second date she's had a nose job, ...
A. 3 December 2013: *something... (read in full...)
People tell me she's fake because she had a nose job
Q. So I've started dating this girl who is so beautiful, funny and one of the sweetest girls i've met she's so down to earth and adorably innocent but daring if you understand that. She told me the other day on our second date she's had a nose job, ...
A. 3 December 2013: Your friend and sister are just jealous. Come on, what is it to them who you date? That is your business. When people stick their noses in like that it is because they want to ruin it. They dont want you to be with.her, for their own selfish ... (read in full...)
What's wrong with having meaningless sex with someone you never want to see again?
Q. What's wrong with having meaningless sex with someone you never want to see again. I'm a sexual person who loves being touched by men. Is it bad to have sex with them if you use protection? Why is there such a stigma to meaningless sex? Yes, its ...
A. 1 December 2013: What's wrong with having meaningless sex with someone you never want to see again.
- Nothing. We're sexual creatures. It's natural.
I'm a sexual person who loves being touched by men. Is it bad to have sex with them if you use protection? ... (read in full...)
Are my dating rules really too strict?
Q. Here it goes again:(. My mother just had a conversation with me that I have too many rules when it comes to guys, and that's why I don't have anyone in my life. Some of my friends agree,I am looking for some opinions here. Though I do ha...
A. 27 November 2013: I think you're fine except for one thing: you don't tell the guys that these are your rules. You expect a man to read your mind. And that wont happen until the day pigs fly.
Rules are fine, but if you want people to follow them you need to spell... (read in full...)
Is this possible in this day and age for a guy to concentrate on one woman and be sexually obsessed with her? Because I'd like the idea of someone being sexually obsessed with me...
Q. I'd like the idea of someone being sexually obsessed with me... My ex boyfriend was a porn addict who told me I couldn't be a model as I'm just an ordinary person. These words haunt me, he's made me believe I'm a lesser. It's let to me having...
A. 27 November 2013: Its podsible, and you dont need to look like anything in particular. Diffferent men like different things. Your ex sounds like an idiot, but not all men are. All men Ive come across prefered me, a real woman, over porn. Ive had men be sexually ... (read in full...)
I can't remember all of the women I have slept with. Is this a problem?
Q. I was sitting here, alone in my basement feeling bad for myself, and decided I would write a list of all of the women I have slept with. I can't remember all of them that I have been with. Should this be concerning in my eyes? What is you all's ...
A. 26 November 2013: I don't think it's something worth your concern. However, that's entirely up to you and how you feel about it. If you think it's bad, then from now on keep track of the ones you sleep with. Either by sleeping with fewer, in the hopes you will ... (read in full...)
He thinks of me as something that I'm not and I can't stand the thought of seeing disappointment on his face
Q. I have met a great guy and we have been dating for a while now. The next step on the cards for us is sex but im terrified of him seeing me naked. See I used to be extremely over weight and I lost it all naturally a few years ago but my body still ...
A. 24 November 2013:
I wouldn't give a shit about what he thinks. Neither should you. If it turns out he's built up unrealistic images of some super body in his head, then that's HIS problem. Not mine, not yours, not anyone elses. If he's an idiot that will run arou... (read in full...)
Is it acceptable for other girls to seek comfort from my boyfriend?
Q. Is it appropriate for other girls to come to my boyfriend for comfort and advice? My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. Early on in the relationship, he told me he didn't have many female friends and didn't have much contact with girls ...
A. 24 November 2013: I get how you feel. My boyfriend is similar, very nice, always friendly and want to help people out. Girls as well as boys. Now, only a few will call for a shoulder to cry on, but he did have a female friend who had an abusive boyfriend. This ... (read in full...)
My husband won't live by the same standards he sets for me
Q. My husband is a jealous person and I havent seen my cousin in 2 years as she drinks, has guys at her flat and is on facebook. These are not the kind of things that interest me but I did pop in and see her before I met my husband as she was always t...
A. 23 November 2013: I think you're in a marriage with restrictions only for you. I think you are being controlled, and it's gone so far that you have given up seeing family, and so far that you have bought into his reasons for why you should not see family.
No do... (read in full...)
Why can't I seem to he over my first gf?
Q. I was in a relationship with who I was convinced was "The One". We were together for 6 months and 8 days. It was the happiest I've ever been. I loved her more than life itself. She always called me on my break. And we always talked. I didn't smother ...
A. 23 November 2013: You need to return that ring. You dont know this girl. That is why you are confused. You barely knew her, and you probably filled in the holes with wishful thinking. You were not seeing the relationship the same way she did. If you want to be ... (read in full...)
I've never experienced intimacy with a person and don't know how to.
Q. Hello My problem is I’ve been rejected by girls sooooo many times in my life that I’m no longer able to be attracted to them. I literally don’t like people anymore and I don’t know what to do. And if someone shows interest in me I shun them or give ...
A. 22 November 2013: "I’ve been rejected repeatedly since I was around 8"
You know, I have a hunch that this isn't true. When I was 8, no one around me were out trying to date other 8-year olds. There couldn't be a rejection by the opposite sex, because the notion o... (read in full...)
How do I realize that marriage isn't as important as I'm making it out to be?
Q. Hello, all. I regularly give advice here, and now I need help myself... In short, how do I let go of the fact that my life partner and myself may never get married? I am in an extremely happy, close (when I let it be, more to come on that), fa...
A. 22 November 2013: So, it's been a few days, but all I could think of saying was something you don't want to hear. Yet, it's stuck to my mind for several days now, and I think maybe it needs to be said:
No man is worth giving up your hopes and dreams for. I've sai... (read in full...)
How can I help my son financially without it causing further tension?
Q. 21 November 2013: My 29 year old son has just got himself a good job but he is on 6 months probation before his position is confirmed. He needs a car to get to and from work and has no money to fund the purchase himself. He is unlikely to be able to ...
A. 22 November 2013: Btw, (yeah, I know I've commented a lot now), I do find it somewhat insulting that my generation is called ungrateful. Exactly WHO do you think taught their kids to be ungrateful?
If people think their kids are ungrateful then perhaps they sho... (read in full...)
How can I help my son financially without it causing further tension?
Q. 21 November 2013: My 29 year old son has just got himself a good job but he is on 6 months probation before his position is confirmed. He needs a car to get to and from work and has no money to fund the purchase himself. He is unlikely to be able to ...
A. 22 November 2013: Sorry, *daddy, not mommy.... (read in full...)
How can I help my son financially without it causing further tension?
Q. 21 November 2013: My 29 year old son has just got himself a good job but he is on 6 months probation before his position is confirmed. He needs a car to get to and from work and has no money to fund the purchase himself. He is unlikely to be able to ...
A. 22 November 2013: You should never offer money up like that. But now you have, and I think it'd be poor manners to withdraw the offer just because you don't approve of what he wants to spend money on.
If you lend him the money you need to let him do whatever... (read in full...)
I recently found a bunch on naked pictures of my wife's privates on her phone!
Q. Hello everyone, i need your help...i recently found a bunch on naked pictures of my wifes privates on her phone. we have been married for 9 years and she has never done anything like this. i checked the dates on the pics and they have been take...
A. 21 November 2013: Why were you going through her phone? Her not locking it doesnt mean you have permission. Is that normal for a man your age who supposedly trusts his wife of 9 years? There is something fishy about this that you are not telling us. You paint her out ... (read in full...)
Does anyone else think it's silly that a lot of chicks still think they're virgins after giving bjs?
Q. I just think it's really silly. I mean, I guess they'd be technical virgins, but to say you're pure after having a d--k in your mouth is just absolutely ridiculous to me. But I've heard A LOT of girls say they're still virgins after. Am I the only ...
A. 19 November 2013: No, I agree with you to some degree. But the hymen is, and have always been, the "proof" of virginity. Hence why no one cares if a man is virgin, he doesnt have anything to physically prove this or that. But I am strongly against the idea of ... (read in full...)
Pregnancy test negative so why 2 missed periods and terrible cramps?
Q. This isn't exactly a relationship question but maybe someone could help? I've been having cramps off and on for a month now- sometimes just a mild cramp and sometimes to the point where I'm doubled over in pain and have missed 2 periods- after the ...
A. 19 November 2013: You need to see your doctor in order to find out whats wrong. Missing your period happens for many reasons other than pregnancy. It could be something harmless, but it could also be serious. So see your soctor and take care of your health.... (read in full...)
My mom doesn't approve of the man that I love
Q. Hi, I am marsha. I am 25 year old graduated last year. I love someone who is younger than me. WE were friends before. I know him past 3 year now. We got close like best friend the end of 3year. Then one fine day he asked me out .. not just dating b...
A. 19 November 2013: Has she given you a reason why she does not approve? ... (read in full...)
What advice would you give to your 20 year old self
Q. What advice would you give to your 20 year old self? Financial, relationship and just general life information you wish you had known. My biggest fear is wasting my life, I think about this daily. I constantly feel like I should be doing/...
A. 19 November 2013: Dear 20 year old me. Do not give up your dream of becoming a mother just because your fiancè says he never wants children. He is not the right man for you. You can love more than one person in your life, so dont worry. Go through shitty ... (read in full...)
It feels like we've changed over the course of the relationship, and I'm not sure we should continue
Q. My boyfriend and I have had a mostly happy and strong relationship going over the past 3 years, however over the past few months I have become increasingly unsure that this is the right guy for me. The reason why is because I feel like we have both ...
A. 18 November 2013: You have already made up your mind about this. Wait a couple of days, then read your own post. You spell it out to yourself clearly. Your concern is that you are scared of being single. Your concern is not that you will leave him, you know he is not ... (read in full...)
Is my relationship over? What should I do?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 9 years and I don't know what to do. I love him and couldn't imagine not having him in my life but I know things aren't right. I think he seems fine and happy and I know he loves me but we don't really have sex very ...
A. 18 November 2013: Confiding in a friend can be very helpful. They see things from another perspective. When in the middle of it you dont know what is up and down. So you are confused. But a friend can see things the way they are, help you see what is up and what is ... (read in full...)
Please tell me it's possible -- genuine love and good sex together?
Q. So the kinkiest, hottest and most bullshit free sex I have ever had, is not in a a serious relationship. I am having it right now, but as I get past 10 years of monogamy (including 2 of marriage) in which sexstarted with co-ersion (as a teen) ...
A. 18 November 2013: Its possible. Absolutely. But like the saying goes, you need to kiss many frogs to find a prince. Find someone who loves you first, then focus on the sex. If he doesnt love you, let him go and dont have sex. If he loves you, you can move on to sex. ... (read in full...)
I'm so afraid of getting hurt again I'm thinking of leaving him
Q. In April 2012, I had a boyfriend, who I had been dating for two years, die in an accident. We had been planning our engagement and had even put an offer in on a house. After the accident happened, I was shut out completely by his family. It's ...
A. 17 November 2013: First, I am sorry for your loss. Don't think that just because you are in a new relationship you shouldn't grieve over your former boyfriend who died. He isn't an ex, you never broke up. Rules are different then, it's not like with an ex where you ... (read in full...)
We had an argument because he wanted sex and I wanted to sleep. Should I call him?
Q. i had a fall out with my new boyfriend the other day, he basically said to me, i don't understand how can you girls know a guy has a hard on and not do anything about it!... he was saying that because i slept at his and we had sex the night before...
A. 17 November 2013: Yeah, this guy doesn't sound like a keeper. Don't apologize, he started an argument and having a hard on doesn't entitle him to sex. Frankly I'm more offended he grouped you into "you girls" rather than address you in person. How many girls exactly ... (read in full...)
How do I realize that marriage isn't as important as I'm making it out to be?
Q. Hello, all. I regularly give advice here, and now I need help myself... In short, how do I let go of the fact that my life partner and myself may never get married? I am in an extremely happy, close (when I let it be, more to come on that), fa...
A. 17 November 2013: I'm a bit on the fence here. In itself, marriage doesn't have to be important if both parties feel the same way. Say, if you didn't want to be married because you saw no point in it yourself. You could still find it difficult to stand up to your ... (read in full...)
Rooming situation is destroying me
Q. Help! I am stuck in a roommate situation with a former best friend, but living with her has made literally everything she does annoying. We bonded at first about being high strung people back in high school. But she is diagnosed OCD and thus say...
A. 16 November 2013: Stay in your private room. Demand your own shelf in the fridge and own space for food in the kitchen where she is not allowed to store her crap. If she needs it, she can buy her own fridge for her molded food. Set some house rules. If food is molded ... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
|
![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
