A
female
age
30-35,
*indaloo
writes: Hi Any advice/support would be grateful. So since my friend got herself a boyfriend (they have been together over a year now) she just does not bother with me or any of her other friends. This is going to sound pathetic, but she used to text all the time and now she doesn't and even ignores out texts for a couple of days and then replies.... would you still make the effort? Or would you just let go and leave her to it?Thanks.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (31 March 2014):
let it go and know that when they break up she'll be back... some friends are like this... they devote all their time to their romantic partner and leave the friends in the dust.
it's something that only changes for some over time...
FWIW I have friends that I can go weeks and months without contact and then poof we see each other 3 times in one week... it's the nature of true long term friendships to ebb and flow.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2014): I think it's up to you. You can either let go of your friendship, or you can continue making the effort. I think she is a true friend, but when you sometimes get friends, and they get a bf, they get too carried away. Funny thing is, i'm kinda going through something similar with one of my friendship groups. difference is, the girl who's ignoring us, doesn't have a bf, she's just made a new bff, which we think she fancies, because she's soooo obsessed with him, and she flirts and shows off with and around him. So I think you and I are sort of on the same path.
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A
male
reader, RevMick +, writes (31 March 2014):
Let her go, don't take it personally as there is always that new relationship stage where you spend every second on each other.
However if she is really dissing her friends, then leave her to it. Enjoy friends who want to be friends with you.
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (31 March 2014):
Let go and leave it to her.
You don't have to cut her loose as a friend, but give her the space she apparently needs right now. This is fairly common and people tend to grow out of it eventually.
Friends aren't based on constant contact but on the quality of contact. If you all can pick up where you left off when she does come around (and knowing you have the same freedom she does when you want it) then that is the best kind of friendship really.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (30 March 2014):
Let go and leave it to her. When she gets over the honey moon phase she'll come back. You can keep in touch with her, but don't expect much from her now. She's just entered a relationship, and although it is extremely annoying, this is what most women do... they swoon over the man and completely neglect their own lives and friends.
I'm sure you will do, or have done, the same to her. So I say hold no grudges, because this is what most women do when entering a relationship. But it cools down, and then most realize they have lost all their friends... So just be there for her when she's over him/they've broken up/it's cooled down.
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