| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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I found out about his daughter a year into our relationship, and he didn't lend me money for my school fees because he puts her first!
Q. I'm 24yrs and my guy is 29yrs too we have been friends since childhood but he asked me for a relationship as at last year so after one year he told me he had a 10yrs daughter out of wedlock and he said the reason why he refused to tell me such at ...
A. 29 April 2015: "he refused to tell me such at the beginning was becos he was scared he might lose"
This man is a manipulator and a liar. Decent folks DO NOT go on and lie about the existence of their children.
Consider this a stern warning. He's not a decen... (read in full...)
He has the stamina. But why can't I achieve an orgasm with my Bf? Do I need to see a Doctor?
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years, we are very close and he knows me well. However, during sex I just don't seem to get an orgasm. He'll thrust and continue until he ejaculates and then bam, he's done. He can last for over an hour befo...
A. 29 April 2015: Here's what you do: stop trying to achieve an orgasm in the most difficult, if not impossible, way there is, which you're currently doing, and go for the easy option instead:
CLITORAL STIMULATION aka he goes down on you.
You're not do... (read in full...)
How can I politely deal with people who offer their advice on whether we are having a boy or a girl?
Q. Ok, so my fiance I have been thrilled to be expecting our first child. We dont want to find out what we are having because I cant wait for that moment when the doc says "its a..." when it is born, but I have had a lot of people who dont seem to get ...
A. 28 April 2015: Because while you might want to not guess, the others wanna take a guess at it.. It's fun! It's not to ruin things for you or force you to make a guess or have an opinion. It's just their idea of good entertainment and it's something thats been done ... (read in full...)
I got sick and missed the calls, now he wont talk.......
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together two months and we talk everyday. We work similar jobs and sometimes, overnight so we try to keep each other up. Friday I told him I had plans to go out but I ended up getting sick and fell into deep sleep, I ...
A. 27 April 2015: Yeah, it should be over, and count your blessings. 12 missed calls and the silent treatment? This man is no good. If he suspected you lied it is only because he himself often lies. No one other than a liar or someone who himself does these things on ... (read in full...)
Did I overreact? I felt like he totally blew me off so I basically told him to lose my number.
Q. I have been dating this man for approximately 3 weeks now after getting out of a 3 year relationship. On the second date, we ended up having sex. It was spectacular, I hadn't felt so sexually connected and charged by a person in years. It was early ...
A. 27 April 2015: Not just after sex. I believe the sex is irrelevant in this case. Tge problem here is you are dealing with an aloof man who has problems making and sticking to plans. Which is a terrible match for a planner, as you will consyantly be pulling your ... (read in full...)
How mean is too mean? Who should pay for what in our relationship?
Q. Who pays for what in our two year relationship? Ok here is my dilemma and one that has really upset me to the point I am considering walking away because it has affected my respects for him. I am sure there will be many comments as I have googl...
A. 25 April 2015: You need to tell him you can't afford these weekends away. That if he wants to travel with you he'll have to pay for the entire trip, because you can't afford it. And if he eats food at your house, you need to start giving him the bills to make him ... (read in full...)
I love him so much. But when he's been drinking he says nasty things and is argumentative. Why is trying to ruin our relationship?
Q. My partner is for the most part a very loving kind man who says he adores me and I am his world. However he likes to drink on his nights off work (he works nights) and when he has had too much to drink sometimes he can lose his temper big time. I...
A. 25 April 2015: He values the drink over the relationship? Then I believe him to be an alcoholic. And when that's the case it's an addiction and not a choice. Doesn't mean you hurt any less, but it might give you a new perspective on things and a way to find a ... (read in full...)
I know money isn't everything, but it just feels unfair!
Q. I'm a 21 year old adult so this may come off as kind of pathetic but I need some help please. For the last few years of my life I've been feeling jealous of people who are wealthy families and people who are just given whatever they want. G...
A. 24 April 2015: Yes, I know the feeling. We grew up poor as well with a single mom, and those who haven't been there really just don't get it. None of my boyfriends ever understood when I refused to throw away leftovers. When I grew up we saved EVERYTHING. Even ... (read in full...)
Should I report my sister to Social Services?
Q. Hi guys I just wanted some advice on a problem I am having. I I have a sister who is 29 years old and she has two small children. However she has started to drink alcohol around her children, to the point where she gets blind drunk, this has been...
A. 24 April 2015: You worry so much what your sister and other family will think of you. But what about this? When her children grow up, what will THEY think of you? Will they think if the aunt who knew, but didn't do anything to help them? Or will they think of ... (read in full...)
Anyone else ever feel sick & tired of "trying"?
Q. Anyone else ever feel sick and tired of "trying"? First off, I wouldn't say I'm depressed or anything, and second, I'm not looking for sympathy, just, if anyone else can relate... I've been thinking about my life a lot lately and how less...
A. 24 April 2015: I hear you. Well, not on all points, but I do understand that feeling of everyone moving forward but you being stuck.
I keep my sanity and good spirits by thinking of how full of shit other people actually are. They brag and brag and brag, an... (read in full...)
I'm feeling confused about if I may be gay. My Bf is nonchalant about this revelation. Can you help? Because I don't know what to do.
Q. I have been with my bf for 7 months. So far all is fine just the normal ups and downs. I have a friend (girl) who I know for 10yrs. She used to study here and when she went back to her country, we kept in touch and regularly visit each other. I am ...
A. 24 April 2015: Honesty is a good thing, but how would you feel if your boyfriend told you he wasn't sure how he felt about some other woman? You'd be devastated, because it translates to this: you're not enough for him, and he's still looking elsewhere.
Look,... (read in full...)
Shall I move out now in a hurry because of my partner and her friends or shall I stick to my mortgage idea for next year?
Q. My girlfriend wants to move in after two years of relationship, I would absolutely love to but u don't want to do it just because her friends and cousins are. All her friends are moving out, living in private rent, wasting £600 per month in ...
A. 24 April 2015: I don't see you writing where you live currently? Apparently somewhere rent free? Are you living at home with mom and dad?
At your age, it shouldn't come as a surprise why people want to move out and leave the "nest". It's part of growing up and c... (read in full...)
I'm feeling confused about if I may be gay. My Bf is nonchalant about this revelation. Can you help? Because I don't know what to do.
Q. I have been with my bf for 7 months. So far all is fine just the normal ups and downs. I have a friend (girl) who I know for 10yrs. She used to study here and when she went back to her country, we kept in touch and regularly visit each other. I am ...
A. 23 April 2015: Just because you like having sex with men doesn't mean you can't have romantic feelings for this particular woman. We're humans, not machines. It's not like you have a setting and once you've been set as straight you're always straight. Attractions ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend likes to bite and doesn't seem to realize that I don't like it!
Q. I have been dating this guy for a few months and the chemistry is great. We're both really attracted to each other, have a great time spending time together and make each other laugh. These are all fantastic things that I'm happy to finally find in ...
A. 23 April 2015: Yes, there's a very easy way to fix this. Tell him he can nibble, but NOT bite. You will not accept it, and he doesn't get to dictate what to do with YOUR body. Your body, your rules. Even if you knack your joints. Tell him very clearly that biting ... (read in full...)
No chemistry ...should I leave the perfect man after 5 years?
Q. I've been with my loving caring partner for 5 years...it has been almost perfect so I thought until last year. He dotes on me and puts me first and I was the same to him. It started last year and has continued...we hardly have sex and when we do I ...
A. 23 April 2015: Nope, you need sex. Or else you have a room-mate situation.
But this doesn't mean you need to give up on this man you have, which you clearly do think highly of. Sex used to be good, so there is no reason why it shouldn't be good again. But appa... (read in full...)
What does a nurse feel when she sees a penis - how should boyfriend react
Q. My girlfriend is a nurse practioner student and I’m struggling to get used to a few things. When she exam on the teaching patient and told me about how she palpated the penis it was a bit awkward. Just recently, during her clinicals (sort of ...
A. 23 April 2015: Hehe, this reminds me about one of my last days at the hospital ward. There was one female doctor who I used to be scared of, because she always seemed so angry and was always telling people off for not doing what she meant they were supposed to. ... (read in full...)
What does a nurse feel when she sees a penis - how should boyfriend react
Q. My girlfriend is a nurse practioner student and I’m struggling to get used to a few things. When she exam on the teaching patient and told me about how she palpated the penis it was a bit awkward. Just recently, during her clinicals (sort of ...
A. 22 April 2015: I don't think you should worry about guys getting an erection because of her. I am sure she's gorgeous, but imagine yourself being so sick you need to be in a hospital, and having some stranger grope your privates. Very often with other ... (read in full...)
Whose surname should our baby take?
Q. Hi I was wondering what peoples oppinions were on surname for children. My first child has my surname as he's dad doesn't bother with him anyway, am pregnant with my second only been with the dad about 8 months we are not married who's surname ...
A. 22 April 2015: It's sort of better if your children have the same last name. My little brother had my dads last name, whereas I had my mothers last name, for several years. Then my mother got tired of it every time it wasn't clear that he was part of the family ... (read in full...)
What does a nurse feel when she sees a penis - how should boyfriend react
Q. My girlfriend is a nurse practioner student and I’m struggling to get used to a few things. When she exam on the teaching patient and told me about how she palpated the penis it was a bit awkward. Just recently, during her clinicals (sort of ...
A. 22 April 2015: Im not a nurse, but I can assure you that she can distinguish between handling a penis in a clinical and professional manner, and handling her boyfriends penis when getting hot and heavy.
I will also remind you that I don't know a single female w... (read in full...)
How do I tell my girlfriend she's spending too much time at my place?
Q. How do I tell my girlfriend she's spending too much time at my place? My girlfriend doesn't have a place of her own and lives with her parents. Her parents live about 25 minutes away but she doesn't drive so it takes almost an hour for her to ...
A. 20 April 2015: You got to tell her that there is too little space for her to stay a week at a time. If shes moving in (which she basically has) then you sjould rent a bigger place and both chip in on rent. You got to tell her its too crowded like this.... (read in full...)
Why should I have to accept gay people, just because others do?
Q. I no we're meant to accept gays but I cant help but think its wrong and I don't hate it but I find it wrong I'm 13 by the way. I don't get why gays should be taught about in schools because why should I have to accept just cos others do? I do...
A. 20 April 2015: Yes. Being gay isn't something you choose, it's something you are. Saying that being gay is wrong is just the same as saying that being white is wrong. You can't help the skin you're born in. It is illogical to say that something you can not change, ... (read in full...)
My busy body downstairs neighbour thinks she rules the block!
Q. Please could somebody help with with this issue... My neighbour downstairs is a busy body(i live in a block of flats, i'm top floor) she thinks she rules the block and orders everybody around. She cornered me as soon as I moved in with a set of ru...
A. 19 April 2015: Ignore her. Completely. Pretend she is air. Dont look at her, dont talk to her, just walk by her without acknowledging her. Ignore her. That will be enough. Your landlord knows she's crazy, let him deal with her.... (read in full...)
What's the hype with men liking big butts?
Q. What's the hype with men liking big butts? Something I've noticed the past year or so is that a lot of men seem to be butt men. They like the 'Kim Kardashian' type butt, the big, round butt. Even the majority of my sister and I's male friends hav...
A. 17 April 2015: What's there to wonder about? They like butts.
If you want a bigger butt, then get to the gym and start lifting weights. Do squats. It REALLY works wonders. I just started lifting weights before Christmas, and already my butt has changed.... (read in full...)
Lovey dovey stage over already?!
Q. My boyfriend and me are very loving but yet lately I've been feeling like all we ever do is the same stuff over and over again. We always end up sitting in the car quietly. He doesn't seem to want to be romantic with me anymore and its only been 6 ...
A. 16 April 2015: Nah, this is so typical of teenage boys/relationships. They haven't learned yet how to keep the romance alive. So it dies. That, and when you're young 6 months is perceived as longer. 6 months in a relationship for a teenager is FOREVER, while 6 ... (read in full...)
My best friend freaked out over the 'maid of honor' title
Q. My Best friend just completely freaked out on me because she isn't going to be my Maid of Honor. Best friend and I have been best friends for over 20 years. We have both been there for each other in good times and bad. I was the maid of honor at...
A. 15 April 2015: You need to meet her half way. Apologize as well, rather than judge her and look down your nose at her (the way you say you don't think her apology is good enough for you...). Accept her apology, or lose a friend! Your choice. In all relationships, ... (read in full...)
Do girls enjoy having their bodies rubbed with other men in crowded bus?
Q. Before I continue, I want you to know that I am around 19 and an attractive male. People and friends adore me every now and then, I don't have girlfriend though and don't even have female friends. The reason for all that is I am shy and not much ...
A. 12 April 2015: Women do not enjoy it, and I think you answered your own question here. The bus was crowded, there was NO WHERE ELSE TO STAND/SIT. What was she supposed to do? Move? Move where? You said yourself you were in pain because it was so crowded, and you ... (read in full...)
Colleague turned off by platonic comment I made?
Q. I was talking to a male colleague about keeping in touch when he leaves for vacation. I joking said, "you're not going to blow me off if I try to reach out to you over the next few weeks?" and he became really uptight and offended. He just ended the ...
A. 12 April 2015: I find it odd that you would call him when he's on vacation. Why would you do that? You told us that you said you'd contact him as a JOKE, but then you went ahead and did it? Then it's not a joke, is it?... (read in full...)
We've been married only a year and have big problems. When do you call it a day?
Q. I‘ve been married for almost a year now and already we're in a bit of a crisis. We have many issues in our relationship, too many to mention but i'll give some examples. I think he's become very controlling since we got married, I am admittedly ...
A. 12 April 2015: You are married, not merely in a relationship. So letting go just because you have some problems is not an option. You made a vow to stick to this man through thick and thin. That means, you stick to him. It's a MARRIAGE not just dating. You made a ... (read in full...)
Colleague turned off by platonic comment I made?
Q. I was talking to a male colleague about keeping in touch when he leaves for vacation. I joking said, "you're not going to blow me off if I try to reach out to you over the next few weeks?" and he became really uptight and offended. He just ended the ...
A. 12 April 2015: What do you mean by "my race"?
Anyway, often when these things happen, we assume the wrong thing. Maybe he got uptight about something else other than the reason you believe. You don't know why he got upset, or even if he did get upset. Maybe yo... (read in full...)
Past experiences have made my boyfriend insecure and it's killing our relationship
Q. I love my boyfriend but he's overly insecure! It's from past relationships that has made him that way. He constantly looks into everything and over thinks things and it's brings me to the point I want to give up. having a social drink together has ...
A. 11 April 2015: You ask if YOU should stay and work on things? There's nothing here for you to work on! Its all HIS business and HIS problems that HE needs to work on. The question is if you have the patience and self worth to stay, as this will chip away at your ... (read in full...)
How do you deal with loneliness for companionship
Q. How do you deal with loneliness for companionship? I'm 22, never had a boyfriend nor a first kiss. The only attention I get from men are from the streets when I get occasional stares, and come-ons (like most females in big cities). I do vo...
A. 10 April 2015: Kiss a guy! You should make the first move and get the ball running. Feelings etc will follow as you get to know a guy more. Ask a guy out on a date and take it from there!... (read in full...)
I'm 15 dating a 21 year old and don't know how to tell my parents
Q. I'm 15 and my boyfriend recently turned 21 I'll be turning 16 in june, my brothers 18 and he and the rest of my siblings and cousins are okay with it, weve been dating 7months yesterday and im really happy....but i really want to tell my parents but ...
A. 9 April 2015: Just because he's older and she's younger doesn't mean she's only dating him for sex... Could very well be that they are dating with nothing sexual going on.
But yes, poster, if you want sex then you need to wait until you are of age. If you only... (read in full...)
I'm 15 dating a 21 year old and don't know how to tell my parents
Q. I'm 15 and my boyfriend recently turned 21 I'll be turning 16 in june, my brothers 18 and he and the rest of my siblings and cousins are okay with it, weve been dating 7months yesterday and im really happy....but i really want to tell my parents but ...
A. 9 April 2015: Why do you need to tell your parents? If you are nervous about it I can guess it's because you know how they will react. So why tell them? They wont benefit from it, and neither will you.
But if you feel you must, for the sake of being forthcom... (read in full...)
How do I get my money back and get over him?
Q. Dear Cupid I was with my current bf for almost 4 yrs now. Earlier we had perfect relationship later point he became emotionally abusive and now just cause I contacted him once when he didn't call me for few days he blocked me everywhere. No I...
A. 9 April 2015: Hi again, I just saw your follow-up. I want to tell you that you are no more stupid than the rest of us. It's easy to see things in hindsight, but right then and there you were blinded by love and the desire for him to be a trustworthy man. If he ... (read in full...)
How do I get my money back and get over him?
Q. Dear Cupid I was with my current bf for almost 4 yrs now. Earlier we had perfect relationship later point he became emotionally abusive and now just cause I contacted him once when he didn't call me for few days he blocked me everywhere. No I...
A. 9 April 2015: You need to take legal action ASAP. He will NOT return your money. He BLOCKED YOU!!!! Read the writing on the wall and stop believing in his bullshit. He took all your savings and was verbally abusive (name calling), I bet he played mind games and ... (read in full...)
He's wonderful, yet I feel like he's not the one for me. What do I do?
Q. I have the most loving, attentive, handsome, and caring man I could ever ask for. And yet I feel like he's not the one for me. We've been together for two plus years and I love him so much. But when I think about going further in the ...
A. 8 April 2015: I believe what you're experiencing is dullness. He's there, so available and ready for you. Where's the excitement? Most people want what they can not have, and the forbidden fruit is irresistible. That's when you get these sayings that girls only ... (read in full...)
Six years together and he hasn't proposed. Am I stupid for hanging on?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years. Although he talks about the future, he has not proposed to me and says he is not happy to do so until he is happy in himself (his family life is difficult due to bereavement etc). I feel like a mug holding ...
A. 8 April 2015: Propose to him and you will have your answer.... (read in full...)
If he doesn't want me why shouldn't I get it else where?
Q. I'm entering the 10th year of my relationship and my sex life has been on the decline for the past four years and my bf says he doesn't know why he just hasn't got the urge and he doesn't even pleasure himself. My dilemma my sex drive is higher now ...
A. 8 April 2015: And you cant/wont leave him because....? In my opinion, cheating is never an option. If you want someone else in bed, you need to end your relationship with your boyfriend. ... (read in full...)
Do I need to stop believing?
Q. Hi, I'm the kind of woman that stands for her own. I'm 29 years old, I'm a doctor with a nice monthly income, I own my own apartment and car, I'm intelligent and thankfully good looking. My question is why I can't attract an understanding man? I'm...
A. 8 April 2015: You need to only date men who share your faith. In other words: a catholicman who practices his religion in the same way you do, making his life choices based on his beliefs. These men you can search for online on their own webpages, or you will ... (read in full...)
I love my b/f but don't wish to have sex with him anymore
Q. Okay, so I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years now and I am 20 years old. He is very affectionate, caring, and I know he would do anything for me..he is my best friend. He wants to marry me. However, we argue constantly because I am not very ...
A. 8 April 2015: You should end it with your bf. You tried, it didnt work. 4 months is waaaay to long to go without sex, and is a serious indicator that the relationship is over. What you have is friendship, and you dont want to lose that. At the same time you have ... (read in full...)
How can I tell someone to stop flirting with me in a work place?
Q. There is this older man at work who is getting too friendly and I want to put a stop to it.I don't work with him everyday since I have a part time casual position and he has permanent position on different floor. I am casual wh...
A. 4 April 2015: You cant force someone to be professional if they arent. So you need to tell him straight that you are not interested in flirting with him. You have to break this "friendship". Stop saying hi to him. Or if you must greet him, do so by a simple nod ... (read in full...)
My best friend freaked out over the 'maid of honor' title
Q. My Best friend just completely freaked out on me because she isn't going to be my Maid of Honor. Best friend and I have been best friends for over 20 years. We have both been there for each other in good times and bad. I was the maid of honor at...
A. 22 November 2014: I agree with YouWish, honestly. I wasnt even thinking of all the points she brought up, but they made me even more sure. You are sucking your friend dry getting her to put in her time and money (doing stuff for free that she could have been paid to ... (read in full...)
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These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
