| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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What was my G/f (who I'm in a Long Distance Relationship with) doing at 4:00 AM and why is she evading my question?
Q. Hi there, I'm not sure how these things work so I'm just going to post the situation and hope for a response. My girlfriend attends the University in Liverpool and I'm home in Coventry, it's been like this for about a year now and the long distance...
A. 24 May 2015: Let it go. Really. Why on earth does it matter what she was doing up at 4am? She's a grown woman, she doesn't need your permission to stay up late. She asked how you knew because it's a weird question to be asking in the first place. And she ... (read in full...)
Help! My 14 yr old daughter is viewing porn
Q. My 14 yr old daughter has been viewing porn on the internet. We have discussed this and she said she was curious, my husband doesn't feel it's a big deal because he had playboys. I am more concerned because I was having sex at her age and don't want ...
A. 24 May 2015: I think it's a matter of her being a teenager and having the desire to do things on her own, things that are private to her. It comes with the age, she needs more independence and is exploring. No matter if you tell her to not do it, her instincts ... (read in full...)
Wife of 5 years says her heart was always with someone else
Q. I’m just devastated by the news that I just received, and just wondering if I can get perspective from other men and women. My wife and I have been married for 5 years, together for 7. I accepted her 2 children from her previous marriage with op...
A. 23 May 2015: Btw, when she has no income, you are more likely to get custody. Why should you pay allimony? You should have the children with you. Get alawyer. She cheated, that is good reason to get divorced and good reason for you to get custody. Her weekly ... (read in full...)
Wife of 5 years says her heart was always with someone else
Q. I’m just devastated by the news that I just received, and just wondering if I can get perspective from other men and women. My wife and I have been married for 5 years, together for 7. I accepted her 2 children from her previous marriage with op...
A. 23 May 2015: Id feel the same way you do. And Id take the kids and leave her. ... (read in full...)
If your boyfriend's sex drive is suddenly higher lately, does that mean he is cheating? How can I determine this?
Q. If your boyfriend's sex drive is suddenly higher lately, does it mean he is cheating on you? We have always had amazing sex and he has had a healthy sex drive, like me, but just seems a little hornier the last week. Not sure why? We have ...
A. 22 May 2015: Sex drive changes is not a symptom of cheating. Why are you suspicious? ... (read in full...)
Should I be feeling guilty? She got offended because I WANTED to use a condom
Q. I really am losing faith in humanity. Here goes: I’m 26, and a mature(ish) student at University. I recently got with a girl who I’d had my eye on for some time. We’d been hanging about in the same group of friends for several months and would fl...
A. 20 May 2015: OMG, haha! No, this woman and her friends are crazy and unhealthy and have no idea what safe sex is. They think its okay to play russian roulette with their health, and have unprotected sex just because someone claims to be STI free? Even so, STI's ... (read in full...)
Am I unreasonable to be upset that she won't come out for my birthday meal with family?
Q. IT is my Birthday next week and my family are going for a meal in the evening. Naturally they have invited my girlfriend of three years. She says she doesn't know if she can come because she has plans with her family during the day, and it may put ...
A. 20 May 2015: Yeah, that's weird, and I'd react to it as well. I don't think she's being completely honest with you here. Either she doe snot get along with your family at all, or she's not really interested in celebrating your birthday. ... (read in full...)
How to tell guy I'm seeing that he has bad body odor and a messy room?
Q. I've been seeing this guy I really like for about a month now. I dropped the other people I dated just to focus on our relationship (that's how much I like him). So far, so good. He's nice, cute and has an amazing personality. Here's the catch: I ...
A. 19 May 2015: If you don't judge him, then why would your family? If you are embarrassed by him, then sorry to tell you, but you shouldn't be with him. When with someone you need to ACCEPT them for who they are. If you go around wishing they were something else, ... (read in full...)
I can't remember the last time I was in the mood!
Q. Dear cupids, This is more sex advice- I hope you don't mind! I am 19 and at uni. I feel I have the opposite problem to most people- I have no a sex drive whatsoever! Forgive the crudeness but I used to get turned on randomly all the time, ...
A. 17 May 2015: Are you currently on any type of medication on birth control? Because that is known to remove sex drive. You said you used to get turned on, so something changed your sex drive. Figure out what, and you will find the solution. My guess is you're on ... (read in full...)
I'm very self concious of my sagging breasts
Q. I'm a 22 year old with saggy breasts, as hard as that is to admit. My breasts are just naturally that way...it's in my genes I suppose. They've always been that way. Plus weight loss didn't help either. I've always been very self consciou...
A. 17 May 2015: Men who have a healthy view on bodies will accept your body for how it looks. The problem here is not what men will think of your body, but what YOU think of your body. Men are very easily influenced by what a woman herself thinks of her own body. ... (read in full...)
Am I still protected from pregnancy?
Q. My boyfriend and I had sex yesterday it was the end of my period. And I'm on birth control and the condom broke and he pulled out a soon as he felt it break. Being the I was on my period I was on the sugar pill pat of my pack am I still protecte...
A. 17 May 2015: If you're on birth control you're protected, even through your "pill free" week. It protects you the entire time as long as you've taken the pill on a daily basis prior to the pill free week. You do not need to use condoms for extra protection ... (read in full...)
She was amazing and beautiful and was the kind of girl I always dreamed about being with and it kills me that I let it go.
Q. To anyone My ex and I broke up after two and a half years almost a year ago. It was somewhat mutual. I went away for the summer to work in another country and while we said we were on a break we talked everyday and acted like everything was normal. ...
A. 16 May 2015: She's with someone else, so the way to win her back is NOT by trying to sabotage her current relationship. That will only push her away. You need to wait until she's single again. And then you need to show her that you wont leave her again, ... (read in full...)
I am a virgin, but I don't understand this: How people can have sex with the same person over and over again and not get bored?
Q. I am still a virgin so I have no knowledge of such things, but it seems to me that If I had sex with the same girl all the time then things would get very boring, kind of like watching the same movie over and over and over again. Assuming that nei...
A. 15 May 2015: This you'll find out once you fall in love.
But until then, think about it this way. You have a mother, right? Do you get tired of having the same mother every day? Would you like to have a new mom each and every day? No? That's because you as a... (read in full...)
Dating 3 years, unexpected pregnancy but he says he will marry me when we are "ready"
Q. I need advice. I am 27 years old my BF is the Same Age. We have been in this relationship 3 years total and 1 1/2 year living together. We found our recently that we are expecting our first baby. It wasn't planned but we feel blessed and happy. ...
A. 15 May 2015: Marriage is committment. Having a child is by far a larger committment than marriage. So why he feels ready to have a kid, but not committ to you? Have no idea, other than he worries that you will divorce him and take his money. ... (read in full...)
How can I get over feeling I'm too old to have a girlfriend at 26? How should I flirt, talk to and approach women?
Q. The fact i'll be 27 in a few weeks and I still haven't had a girlfriend yet, obviously still a virgin, the fact that I didn't have my first girlfriend and didn't lose my virginity around the age-range most people do just makes me bitter and ...
A. 15 May 2015: Who says you need to get married?? I so do not follow your logic, it makes no sense. How to avoid marriage; dont propose and dont say yes if proposed to. Easy. ... (read in full...)
How can I get over feeling I'm too old to have a girlfriend at 26? How should I flirt, talk to and approach women?
Q. The fact i'll be 27 in a few weeks and I still haven't had a girlfriend yet, obviously still a virgin, the fact that I didn't have my first girlfriend and didn't lose my virginity around the age-range most people do just makes me bitter and ...
A. 14 May 2015: Yeah, you keep wondering...... (read in full...)
I don't really know what happened between us and don't know how to play it??
Q. So I work in a restaurant, and I was at the bar when like the hottest girl in my whole town comes in and orders a drink. She recognises me, and while I'm doing the drink she says "so you've probably seen facebook" and I was like, "erm yeah last I ...
A. 13 May 2015: My guess is she just likes the attention and having a harem to choose from. She now knows you are available to her, and she just wanted that ego boost. If she was any bit serious she could have gotten your number straight away. Sorry to disappoint ... (read in full...)
Should I have to give up on my dream of travelling?
Q. I have been with my partner for four years, he is studying at university and I am working full times and have been since I was 18. The thing is I am suffering through some hard times and I want to get away from my home town for a bit. My dream ...
A. 13 May 2015: Stop thinking you need him in order to live. Stop thinking you need his approval. If he doesnt want to go with you, then you go with someone else or on your own. And thats all there is to it.
If he wanted to come with he would make plans to do so... (read in full...)
Should I drop a hint to my girlfriend that my birthday is coming up soon?
Q. My Birthday is coming up soon. I've been with my g/f since the start of the year, and we dated a bit end of last year. I haven't hinted at the timing of my birthday, nor has she asked when it is. I don't think any mutual friends know for sure wh...
A. 11 May 2015: You over think this. Just tell her: btw, my birthday is next week. Im not planning to do anything special, but maybe you and I could have dinner together?
If you just "drop a hint" she'll take it as you wanting a gift, and that doesn't look goo... (read in full...)
It's 'her way or the highway'. She doesn't respond. Yet is quick to ask a favor if she needs help. Is this 'friendship' over?
Q. I have a friend who I've known since HS. We met through another friend who neither of us keep in touch with much now. One time I canceled plans with this friend because I had a second date with a guy. She got SO mad at me- even though our plans...
A. 11 May 2015: Let it go. If she wants to hang out and it's a suitable time for you, then do so. If not, don't. Don't bother too much with contacting her when she never responds. If she asks why, just tell her you didn't get a response so stopped contacting her.
... (read in full...)
We've been dating for 3 months but he never wants to call or text?
Q. I need help. I am dating someone who never calls me and rarely texts me. We have been dating for 3 months, and he says that he wants to "take things slow." Is this normal? I am all for not rushing into things, but wouldn't a guy want to talk to ...
A. 11 May 2015: In regards to what CindyCares said, that is correct. It depends on how often you meet him, but in order to meet up you normally call/text to agree on a time and place, so I figured you didn't see him in this time period either? That guy I told you ... (read in full...)
We've been dating for 3 months but he never wants to call or text?
Q. I need help. I am dating someone who never calls me and rarely texts me. We have been dating for 3 months, and he says that he wants to "take things slow." Is this normal? I am all for not rushing into things, but wouldn't a guy want to talk to ...
A. 11 May 2015: I also met a guy once who wanted to take things slow. I thought he meant not moving ahead too soon, go on dates, not be exclusive and just see how things go before making any commitments. But naaah.. what he meant was NOT call me or text me for ... (read in full...)
My sex drive is such that I want to sleep around but I know that will hurt my boyfriend, and might make him depressed. What can I do about my libido?
Q. I'm in a really uncomfortable situation. I've been with my bf for 3 years with one break. During the break I had sex with two people and dated a person online for a few weeks. I just really wanted to get something out of my system. I have ...
A. 10 May 2015: First off, just because you are a woman who wants to have sex, does NOT mean you are a whore. Do not ever say that again. Women have asexuality and it is just healthy to live it out.
That being said, cheating is not okay, and having a break ju... (read in full...)
I've fallen for a gay man and I always thought I was straight. How can I explain this to family and friends?
Q. Okay so I thought I was straight until about 8 months ago. I was in a relationship with a girl we broke up cause she cheated. I got over it, sort of slept with a few girls and then one day I come across this guy on Facebook. For some reason I was...
A. 10 May 2015: You are not in love... This is just a fantasy, you do not love this person, you dont know him. Good for you that you have avcepted a new side of yourself, but stop wasting time on some internet dream. Mert a guy in real life, then tell family and ... (read in full...)
Been dating for 2 years. I'm 19, so why are my parents being so weird about me having sex with my Bf?
Q. I am a 19 year old female and I've recently have been having sex with my boyfriend of 2 years. I lost my virginity to him. Yes, we are being safe and using both birth control and condoms. My parents recently found out because I have been spendi...
A. 10 May 2015: They were probably shamed by their parents, and raised to see sex as a negative. I dont think it has much to do with you, this is about them and their view on sex.... (read in full...)
How can I get over feeling I'm too old to have a girlfriend at 26? How should I flirt, talk to and approach women?
Q. The fact i'll be 27 in a few weeks and I still haven't had a girlfriend yet, obviously still a virgin, the fact that I didn't have my first girlfriend and didn't lose my virginity around the age-range most people do just makes me bitter and ...
A. 10 May 2015: Youre not behind anyone, that is just something you tell yourself. Everyone else your age are just as far in life as you are. Different experiences does not mean anyone is further ahead or behind. Allow yourself to live some. You only have one life. ... (read in full...)
Is it alright for my boyfriend to be his single friend's wingman?
Q. My boyfriend went out with a male friend and two other girls tonight. I considered that a double date. He said it's not, he was just the 'wingman'. I don't know exactly what a 'wingman' is, so I searched Urban Dictionary. The definition it gi...
A. 9 May 2015: Uh-oh, this does not sound good I am afraid. Your boyfriend was picking up this friends sister. He asked for her number, and guys only do that for one reason.. and it's not to make friends! It's to pick them up! It's even worse if he never intended ... (read in full...)
Is it alright for my boyfriend to be his single friend's wingman?
Q. My boyfriend went out with a male friend and two other girls tonight. I considered that a double date. He said it's not, he was just the 'wingman'. I don't know exactly what a 'wingman' is, so I searched Urban Dictionary. The definition it gi...
A. 9 May 2015: I think you overreact because you're unfamiliar with the term wing-man. It's up to each and everyone how they determine it, and how they practice it, but the point is just that the wing man (or wing-woman) is your side kick when you go out looking ... (read in full...)
How can I get over feeling I'm too old to have a girlfriend at 26? How should I flirt, talk to and approach women?
Q. The fact i'll be 27 in a few weeks and I still haven't had a girlfriend yet, obviously still a virgin, the fact that I didn't have my first girlfriend and didn't lose my virginity around the age-range most people do just makes me bitter and ...
A. 9 May 2015: That is a strange logic. In order to not feel pain of having "missed out", you will not allow yourself to experience anything at all. How does that do you any good? Then you can be 40 and a virgin and look back wondering why you, at 26, were denying ... (read in full...)
How to deal with being completely alone?
Q. That's basically my situation. I feel like I pretty much have nobody. I'm sure it's partly my fault, but there are other factors that make it difficult for me to really get out there and socialize. For one, I don't even have a car right now (and ...
A. 7 May 2015: The only person in life who will always be there by your side, support you, and who you can trust.. Is yourself. It's a lesson you're starting to learn. People can have all sorts of friends around them to confide in, but when it comes down to it, ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my father to stay out of my business and let me live my life?
Q. Hi everyone hope I can get some advice tonight. I am a full time student and I live with my father who is retired. I moved in with him approximately 9 months ago because his residence is very close to my campus. I don't kmow how to say this wit...
A. 7 May 2015: I think you should move out again. This clearly isn't working, and let me tell you: there is no way you can get your father to back off. He is who he is, and at his age people rarely want to be told they need to behave. He'd find it even more ... (read in full...)
Every man I've ever been involved with has sought out porn featuring women who look different than me!
Q. Why does every man I'm with seem to prefer the typical porn star look to me . Without fail every man I've ever been involved with has sought out potn Witb womrn who are compeltely different to me , usually young and blonde and thin I'm pretty s...
A. 6 May 2015: You wrote this in your update:
"To the person who mention that I have porn? I don't use porn and don't find it enticing not do I read to tamce novels . I have never been with a partner and fabtasised about someone else so I'm pretty sure I'm weir... (read in full...)
A family holiday where my feelings were perhaps forgotten? Shouldn't they at least consider how I would feel, considering the problems last year?
Q. I kind of feel bad for even thinking this, but I feel really let down by my family and when I told them how I feel, I feel like they are basically telling me it doesn't matter how I feel. Basically every year for the past 4 years we have had a fa...
A. 5 May 2015: Its an annual family vacation, the way I understood it. In which case it's become sort of tradition to invite everyone, and the exemption of a certain family member will be seen as an act of exclusion. Or as the aunt playing favorites.
It ma... (read in full...)
I like guys. Yet lesbian porn turns me on. Does this mean I might be bisexual?
Q. Okay, so first off I know it's impossible for me to be a lesbian because of my strong romantic, emotional and sexual attraction to men. I don't have an emotional or romantic attraction to any woman and never have. I remember in 9th grade, two of my ...
A. 5 May 2015: You're not bisexual. Or you might be, who knows, but as of right now you aren't.
Being bisexual doesn't mean you need to be attracted to all boobs you see. I'm bisexual, I have no problem watching my friends naked without getting turned on. It's... (read in full...)
Every man I've ever been involved with has sought out porn featuring women who look different than me!
Q. Why does every man I'm with seem to prefer the typical porn star look to me . Without fail every man I've ever been involved with has sought out potn Witb womrn who are compeltely different to me , usually young and blonde and thin I'm pretty s...
A. 5 May 2015: Uh, you're the one doing the comparison here, not the dudes you're with.
Yes, I believe it is so that those who lack confidence will always feel inferior to others. Which is what you're experiencing. If it wasn't women in porn I am sure you'd fi... (read in full...)
A family holiday where my feelings were perhaps forgotten? Shouldn't they at least consider how I would feel, considering the problems last year?
Q. I kind of feel bad for even thinking this, but I feel really let down by my family and when I told them how I feel, I feel like they are basically telling me it doesn't matter how I feel. Basically every year for the past 4 years we have had a fa...
A. 5 May 2015: It's common courtesy to ask, rather than make a decision over someones head. The "You wouldn't have wanted to go anyway" means they didn't even bother to ask you, and you weren't invited as a result. Which is excluding.
I completely understa... (read in full...)
Why are (many) women disgusted by sexual interest from an older man?
Q. At work, I have been told by young girls that some of the older "gentlemen" touch them and make passes at them (ignoring the illegal aspect, some reason why they don't officially complain), and these girls have complained to me about it, also saying ...
A. 4 May 2015: My guess is, it's not about morals at all, lol. It's about whether the older guy is gorgeous, or disgusting. In their eyes, mind you. I mean where did you get the idea this was about morals to begin with? They've never said it was morally wrong, did ... (read in full...)
Should a shy geeky guy visit a prostitute to gain some experience before I Try to find GF
Q. I'm a 24 year old male virgin who has never kissed a girl nor have I ever been on a date. I'm not particularly good looking and I don't have six pack abs. Not to mention I'm a giant film/video game/comic book geek as well. I research this to...
A. 30 April 2015: Oh please, women do not bother two cents about whether a guy has experience in bed or not. If you're seeking a relationship then the whole topic of sex doesn't come up until AFTER you're already in a relationship ANYWAYS. Girls who want to know this ... (read in full...)
If I really am the woman he is in love with and plans to be with for the rest of his life why has he made getting married so difficult?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years going on 3. We have two babies and are pretty serious about eachother. The only problem is that we seem to have completely different views about marriage. I want to get married desperately. Every inch of my ...
A. 30 April 2015: He's always got an excuse? Always postpones? Then it's because he doesn't want it. Simple as that.
If he wanted to be married he'd understand your feelings. But he has told you he doesn't understand why you want to be married! The only way that... (read in full...)
How can I calm my anxiety at the thought of losing him? Plus I need a guide on dating an introvert, please?
Q. I think i need a guide for dating an introvert... I am a very social, loving and very caring person. When in a relationship i always put the other person first, and always like to keep in contact, and do lots of thinga with them. Yet my boyfr...
A. 29 April 2015: Well, generally speaking introverts need to be alone in order to charge their batteries. But that doesn't give anyone an excuse to be a jerk, if you ask me. Not even saying hi to you? That's him being a jerk, and has nothing to do with being ... (read in full...)
I found out about his daughter a year into our relationship, and he didn't lend me money for my school fees because he puts her first!
Q. I'm 24yrs and my guy is 29yrs too we have been friends since childhood but he asked me for a relationship as at last year so after one year he told me he had a 10yrs daughter out of wedlock and he said the reason why he refused to tell me such at ...
A. 29 April 2015: "he refused to tell me such at the beginning was becos he was scared he might lose"
This man is a manipulator and a liar. Decent folks DO NOT go on and lie about the existence of their children.
Consider this a stern warning. He's not a decen... (read in full...)
How can I get over feeling I'm too old to have a girlfriend at 26? How should I flirt, talk to and approach women?
Q. The fact i'll be 27 in a few weeks and I still haven't had a girlfriend yet, obviously still a virgin, the fact that I didn't have my first girlfriend and didn't lose my virginity around the age-range most people do just makes me bitter and ...
A. 28 December 2014: Ah, your latest update makes me think you started your post on the wrong foot. This doesn't really sound like it's about being a "late bloomer" at all. Sounds to me like you're generally frustrated about where your life is heading, or more than you ... (read in full...)
How can I get over feeling I'm too old to have a girlfriend at 26? How should I flirt, talk to and approach women?
Q. The fact i'll be 27 in a few weeks and I still haven't had a girlfriend yet, obviously still a virgin, the fact that I didn't have my first girlfriend and didn't lose my virginity around the age-range most people do just makes me bitter and ...
A. 23 December 2014: It annoys me a lot when men like you make stupid assumptions about how women have loads of options while they, as male, as to be pitied because they don't have options to get laid.
It's all crap and a self fulfilling hypothesis of yours that ena... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
