A
female
age
30-35,
*rokenmix
writes:So I'm 6'ft ,with very dark skin and slenderLately I've been given the title "exotic" by my friends and even by strangers I meet. I get told I'm beautiful and pretty and so on but every girl gets that. I never take these terms seriously because I just have trust issues and body issues also. That isn't the problem at hand thoughAs of lately the term "exotic" has really been affecting me.What does it mean? Is it good or bad? It's been making me insecure in a way because i don't really like to think of myself as different.To be honest,I'd rather be normal.Is exotic something guys like or Is it something they avoid?
View related questions:
insecure Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2015): I probably identify with you a lot more than most of the posters here. Firstly, I am "exotic" and secondly, I am from the UK.Like you, I am quite dark skinned, blue eyes, very light brown hair and "different looking". Every single time I leave my house people will stop me to give me some race interrogation. Where are you from? What are your parents? What is your mix? Etc etc. People claim that they call you exotic or ask these questions because you are so beautiful or that your look fascinates them.I have gotten this my entire life. And I hate it. Genuinely, I think people do not believe they are offensive. In fact, they think they are paying you a compliment, despite it coming across offensively by their ignorance. For people who say that you have an issue with your skin colour or race, I say ignore them. They are just as ignorant. No one is constantly harassing them everytime they leave their homes about why they have white skin or making comments about the nature of having white skin.On a whole, I started having fun with it. The great thing about being British is your ability to use sarcasm. And here is a link that gives me a good chuckle (and may even give you inspiration) Good luck!http://www.buzzfeed.com/robynwilder/questions-mixed-race-people-are-tired-of-hearing#.rc9dAplRz
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2015): you are insecure because of your skin colour, you know its true, and you didn't go on to mention your other features, all you told us is "very dark skin" you pretty much answered your own question.. until you start loving your self and skin,you will always be insecure and always needs people assurance and reassurance in other to feel beautiful
...............................
A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (24 February 2015):
Dear OP,
I DO think that your insecurity is the real problem here.
Because you ask this question because, deep down, you're worried about the effect you have on men. And I can tell you that EVERY woman I know has some body and beauty issue and some worries about being attractive. Even if men throw themselves at them. It's really sad and for some of them it's an obstacle to getting what they want in life. For some women (or men), it's the tone of skin, for others it's the weight, height, shape, age, size of certain body parts.. the list of possible issues is long.
You're being told many compliments (you're wrong by the way, not every girl is told she's pretty and beautiful), yet you can't believe them. But that's your issue and is probably not the intent of those who tell you that you're "exotic".
I can understand it's not always easy to stand out, and there are days where you probably just want to blend in. But you can't change who you are, so embrace your looks and personality. There's absolutely no reason to be ashamed of yourself. And if some guy was to reject you because of your "exotic" look or anything else that belongs to you, well, too bad for him! Another man might be very happy with you. It's about finding the right one, and not about pleasing every one (you won't be able to do that, anyway, no matter how you look).
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2015): As a person of mixed heritage and being told that all the time myself; you'll get used to it. People mean that as a compliment, and the word is a positive reference to your out of the ordinary or striking appearance. I have a light mocha complexion, black wavy hair, and very dark almond-shaped eyes. People think I'm Latino, some think I'm a East Indian or Middle Easterner. It's just my racial-mixture that makes me stand-out. I'm 100% American. My mother is 100% Native American; and my father is a mixture of French, English, and African American somewhere in there.
Embrace it, unless you think darker skin is something to be ashamed of. Then you've got a problem you need to work on; because you are who you are.
Being considered "exotic" is not by any means something to worry about or take offense to. Truthfully, I felt singled-out and got tired of people guessing my ethnicity. Then I had to realize I must be proud of who I am, how I look, and not let such things bother me. I'm not ashamed of my parents or myself. In any case, you're beautiful!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2015): And I'd like to be exotic...
And have curly hair...
And people who have curly hair look at my straight hair with envy and say"Oh,you are so lucky,you don't have to deal with frizz every day."
Point is: we all want things we can't have. Just be happy with who you are.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (24 February 2015):
 Exotic is good. I'd say VERY good even.
It means you stand out (in a good way) you are not average looking.
As for what guys want? Screw that.
Learn to appreciate that you are unique and in that sense... YOU are like everyone else.
Don't do the whole "poor me" I'm pretty but......
If you don't like the term exotic, then don't USE the label for yourself. Whether you like it or not YOU define who you are, and THAT should hopefully go a LITTLE deeper then how you look?
How about I'm a great friend, snappy dresser, good person, smart woman? Instead of thinking your whole value as a person is "limited" by HOW you look?
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (24 February 2015):
 Exotic in this context is meant as a complement... As for "what guys like", you're not 14, and shouldn't be so concerned about the approval of "guys" in general. Men have differing tastes and opinions, just like women, and are not to be generalized. They have unique opinions and personalities. And most importantly: YOU ARE AN INDIVIDUAL AND NOT A SEX TOY FOR THE PLEASURE OF MEN. You need to grasp that. Your beauty is NOT determined by how many guys find you hot or not.
...............................
|
