A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone,I met a really nice girl about 2 weeks ago and we had our first date yesterday. She is the girl-next door type, sweet and cute. I have to say I really like her. She is also a very interesting person with quite some knowledge. We got along pretty well the 2 times we met and we had very fun conversations.I think she also likes me as she was practically laughing at everything I was saying (even when it was not meant to be something funny), she was playing with her hair really a lot, and her body language was open. We already made plans to meet again as we have several interests in common (plus she also offered to practice German with me :) since she is a native speaker I am taking classes after work since last year). She is also curious about me and my country (I am Mediterranean).Now, there is one little problem. She told me she broke up with her ex just about a month ago. She was with some Brazilian guy for some(?) years and they had a long-distance relationship (we live in Europe). It turns that things didn't work out and that he wasn't ready for some type of commitment. She seemed very upset about the break-up. I didn't make a big deal out of it, I simply shared my experience with long-distance relationships and that break-ups can indeed be hurtful but they are not the end of the world. People eventually move on once they digest the whole thing. She also said that she still occasionally talks with him through skype (guess that's normal, I did the same thing after my 3-year relationship with a girl). I then switched the topic to something lighter and funnier.So, is this a red flag of sorts and how do I handle this? I am looking for a relationship with a nice girl and without too much drama. Should I run or should I give her a chance? I really don't want to become the rebound guy...Thanks in advance for any advice.Cheers
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (7 February 2015):
 I do think it's kind of fast to get into a new relationship, but the thing is with a LDR you kind of KNOW if it's heading somewhere or not. And I think she KNEW for quite a while that it was more of a "fantasy" than reality with her Brazilian LDR, so she might really have been "over" the relationship longer then the one month. If that makes sense.?
They still talk? Hmm, it's a little iffy on that one. I don't think you can break up and be REAL friend only a months after things feel apart. So for me, her Skyping with him is a flag. They are keeping each other around for a reason.
So I'd go REALLY slow with this girl. REALLY slow.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (6 February 2015):
 People move on in different speeds. Some might still be hung up over their ex after 3 years. Some only need 3 weeks and they are over the relationship.
It was a long distance one, and in those relationships you tend to often NOT be close, both physically but also mentally. You live separate lives, and being together or being single doesn't make much of a difference in the every day life. So it is easier to move on, and there is hardly any difference.
As long as she's not interested in him romantically any longer, then there is no problem.
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