A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I'm out of a twenty year marriage so the last time I dates was some years ago. Since being single again it seems most men now expect or want women to be shaved down below. What's going on? I don't remember this ever being a request or even a preference in the past? Why are men suddenly expecting this . Is it porn and if so , why is no one questioning that? Surely men have minds of their own and are not just influenced by online porn?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 February 2015):
 FWIW I hated that my now husband was totally shaved. It's NOT attractive IMO. I asked him to grow it back some... he did..... now I have to discuss trimming with him.
it's not an all or nothing thing.
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (22 February 2015):
I like everything but a jungle. As long as it doesn't go to your legs I'm ok. In other words not everyone likes it shaved. In fact a lot of times shaved is a turn off to me (depends on the woman).
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (21 February 2015):
 Heh, am I a dork for actually shampooing "down there"? I keep it at maybe a quarter inch, and I agree with pinktopaz - hair can pick up odor.
That being said - you think going down on a guy doesn't have that kind of odor in their hair? The male anon who requires a shaved area - does he shave as well? What's next, the bleached anus??
And - I'm not a fan of the manscaped man. I admire the pain threshold, and in a bodybuilder, it makes sense, but give me hair!! Not "gorilla" hair, but there's something sexy about a hairy chest! I could run my fingernails across it 24/7! That and if no one remembers the new Superman movie "Man of Steel" for anything else, it's that Henry Cavill made a hairy chest sexy as hell! Superman does not Super-Manscape!
AHEM. Back to your regularly scheduled programming. :)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2015): Part of it is porn, but part of it is biology too. Body hair, while natural in both sexes, tends to be more apparent on men as a result of testosterone (women have testosterone in themselves as well, but it's significantly less). So when guys see women with a lot of hair, it gets us thinking she must have a lot more testosterone running through her veins and is less of woman because of it (i.e. more manly). For hetero males, it can be a real turn off. It's stupid, superficial, I know, but a lot of my guy friends all agree; granted, we're all under 30 and grew up with the advent of the Internet and online adult entertainment most of our lives. So it is possible it has shaped our views, but at the same time, it's not just pubes - none of us really find a woman with hairy forearms very feminine either (and porn rarely focuses on forearms, so how did we get influenced over that?). At the end of the day, you're free to do what you want - but people are also free to have preferences, even if you don't agree with them.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (21 February 2015):
I think people get used to seeing something and if it doesn't look "that way" then it's unattractive.
Maybe it's porn, maybe not...but norms change along with preferences. Body hair is one of them. I mean, your eyebrows as thin as possible was a thing for at least a good 10-years, now thick eyebrows are in. Men with clean shaven faces were in, how beards and mustaches are in.
As far as hygiene goes, lets be real. Yes, people are either clean or they're not. But hair tends to absorb odor. Whether you've been in a smoky casino for a minute or you've been working out, your hair is going to smell. So if you're having some sweating going on and other things going down in the nether regions, your hair is going to absorb that odor.
I don't think you need to be bald like a child, but at least trim. I think guys should manscape as well, it's not just something women need to do. We shave our pits, shave our legs, so why is shaving "down there" really an issue?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2015): Yes i think its porn images
I prefer a woman to look like a woman
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2015): It is about hygiene. Perhaps not yours but for sure mine: I don't wanna swallow bunch of pubic hair. At least have some decency at that.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2015): Yeah I heard somewhere, think it was in a movie, where they talk about that and said that it all changed since the advent of porn and the Internet. So mid to late 90's. You know, whereas before it was normal for a woman to keep her bush, then porn changed the male view and their expectations, as well as women's and so now women feel it necessary to shave/wax down there. So yeah it is pretty much a proven fact that the commercialization and easy access to porn via the Internet, in the late 90's, changed and shaped the view of the female anatomy. When our parents were children, their view of sex was shaped by their peers in their community and by using their imagination. Nowadays, men's view of sex is shaped by lowly crackheads who get small sums of money to get naked and suck males off to pay their rent in their shitty studio in the valley. I live in LA. Believe me, I know firsthand. Nothing for women to feel threatened by or have a chip on their shoulder about. When you look deeper and see it for what it is, it is sad. Stay classic, classy and just be you. No guy should compare you to a porn star. You are silly if you fall for it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2015): If a man shaves all-over or "mans-capes;" it is because he likes being smooth, and a lot of women like it. It is rare that a man who doesn't shave himself down-there, who makes much of an issue of a woman who doesn't. I don't see the big deal for asking. I've been doing it for years, and it doesn't seem to get as sweaty. I get no complaints and don't complain about people who don't shave. To each his own.
Bad hygiene is bad hygiene whether you look like chicken giblets down there, or a sausage in a bird's nest. Good hygiene is clean with no odor. Some people have a rat's nest for pubes. It's downright ugly to look at. If shaving isn't your thing, and tangled shrubbery isn't inviting to your sex-partner; then I guess you'll miss out on a lot of fun!
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female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (20 February 2015):
Well then you'd better be shaving down there too, male anon. Nobody wants your sweaty pubes in their teeth, and double standards are not ok.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2015): I was under the impression its actually cleaner not to shave it all off, because the hair helps to keep the sweat/dirt away.
If I'm going to give oral to a man I prefer if he has trimmed/shaved some of it as lots of hair is not nice, so I do the same myself (keep the bush/tree pruned by don't chop all the branches off) because I do think the hair has a purpose, plus I don't want to be scratching my shaving rash crotch all day!
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 February 2015):
 ******So_Very_Confused United States + ?, writes (20 February 2015):
It's not about hygiene at all. A person can have a full bush and still be cleaner than someone who shaves or trims.****
EXACTLY. but the ignorant notion of the MALE anon below SVC's post, shows that people NOW seem to think it's "cleaner" and more "hygienic". Because? IT SUITS the ignorant person to think it's cleaner. Because it "looks" cleaner....
It's like the people who think an UNCUT penis is CLEANER than a CUT - it's NOT necessarily true. IT all comes down to THAT person's HYGIENE.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (20 February 2015):
It's not about hygiene at all. A person can have a full bush and still be cleaner than someone who shaves or trims.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2015): If a girl expects me to go down on her then she better be shaven. Since I also expect to go down on her I expect her to be shaved. It's just hygiene. Porn has nothing to do with this because we all know it's unrealistic.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (20 February 2015):
 I have only dated men who watch porn, how often I don't now, but I know they watch/watched porn. None of these men ever expected me to be shaved. Some found it odd that I occasionally did it. Some liked it when I occasionally did it. The only "complaint" was if it got too long, because of the added challenge it gave to performing cunnilingus.
So I think you've just had bad luck in the men you've come across recently.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (20 February 2015):
It's funny that I should see this article. Last night on Youtube, I stumbled across a video (the BuzzFeed channel) that saw women reacting to Playboy throughout the years, and as early as the 80's magazines, they commented "Wow, they had no problem with hair in that time!".
So it's a recent thing to have women shaved there, and I believe it's a direct consequence of internet porn.
If you don't want to shave, then DON'T! I don't shave it off...I keep it nice and trimmed and clean and hygienic, but I'd rather go celibate than wax down there. I mean it.
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female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (20 February 2015):
I don't know why, but it is now expected of young men, too. Hairless is all the rage.
I was so happy when I met my husband five years ago and he asked me "please, for the love of god grow some hair down there, I haven't seen hair on a woman since '95! (He spent 20 years as a bartender in strip clubs)
I don't have to shave, ever again? How awesome is that! Of course I married him. :)
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 February 2015):
I agree, both porn and general society are an influence. Images of female genitalia au naturel are now in a very small minority, and a large percentage of pornographic images show no hair at all. The partial or full removal of pubic hair in pornography is so widespread, that porn WITH full bush is now considered a novelty - IRONIC?
BODY hair is somehow seen (specially in the US) as disgusting and "unclean" which is really isn't. It's the same with douching, you can buy so many products for disguising the NATURAL scent, or hide BAD hygiene. Douching is rarely a good thing to do, as it messes with the natural Ph, even products who claims to be Ph neutral.
I think the "Vagina Monologue" is another factor. The play was first produced in 1996 and yes, at that time, preferring to make love to a woman without pubic hair was considered to be a bit of a fetish. It brought the whole IDEA that shaves was somehow "better" or more "sexy" up.
Women spend more time making our bodies looking more youthful. Like make up makes a face more "flawless" - coloring your hair makes it look less dull, and now shaving/waxing EVERYTHING makes a women look younger (well, heck, almost childish) It's a sense of "fake perfection" a la Barbie.
Funny enough most people think waxing and shaving makes the crotch cleaner... IT DOESN'T - it makes it LOOK cleaner - facts are... And I quote Emily Gibson, director of the health centre at Western Washington University in the USA, hair removal can increase the risk of infection and sexually transmitted diseases. “Pubic-hair removal,” she said, “naturally irritates and inflames the hair follicles, leaving microscopic open wounds.” She also said it was not unusual to see patients with boils and abscesses on their genitals from shaving. And all, it seems, because of a growing feeling that there might be something unacceptable about female genitals in their natural state.
I say IF you want to keep a full bush, a trimmed hedge, a landing strip OR go naked mole-rat - it's UP to you. IT IS YOUR BODY. If a man finds it wrong or nasty, he is welcome to leave.
What I also find a tad ironic is the raise of MEN (specially celebrities who then sets a trend) are showing up with beards. I know Chris Evans said in an interview that he just really HATED to shave every day... I can't say I blame him.
Now I'm in my 40. I have waxed my legs for a good 2 decades because I grow some serious Yeti legs, I shave my armpits (only in summer though) because I DO think it looks nicer. And I have had a "trimmed landing strip" for a long time (only in summer as well), because I just don't like to wear swimsuit and have hair poking out.
I think shaving/waxing is a personal matter that the WOMAN can choose. And I find it SAD that there are (specially) young girls out there thinking they HAVE to do this because otherwise they aren't attractive to guys.
And I hope it's a trend that will go away, like the powdered wigs. LOL
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (20 February 2015):
 I don't know if porn led the trend or if it worked to reinforce it, but I don't doubt it's a factor. I read an article the other day that mentioned that doctors in North America very seldom see a woman under 30 with pubic hair. The trend against body hair has been evolving for generations, though -- I recall seeing early photos of Madonna when she had underarm hair which shocked me almost as much as Cindy's friend about the bush. But I have to think that a hundred or so years ago women were far too busy surviving to shave their underarms or legs.
As a child of the 70s I think the campaign against pubic hair is very unfortunate. A groomed or denuded crotch means you're intended to see it -- that takes away some of the delicious thrill of seeing something you're not supposed to. I have to think there are other men of my vintage who think the same way, although I'm not sure how you tactfully discover how they think before you get to the moment of truth.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (20 February 2015):
 I am sure porn has got a lot to do with it, but not only. It's just fads and trends. Unfathomable courses and recourses of fashion. Like, in mid 18th century people wore powdered wigs, and early 19th nobody did anymore. It's not all of a sudden, the tide has been changing slowly and constantly since a couple of decades or maybe more ? , and now , at least in USA, it is much more common to see a shaven crotch than an unshaven one, while before it used to be the opposite. I remember having gone about ten years ago to see a movie with a male friend.The movie plot was set in Paris, 1968 and contained full frontal nudity. My friend was flabbergasted, he even squeaked a half -scared " Omygod what's THAT ?!" at the sight of the actress' full bush - turns out that in all his sex life he had never met yet with a lady au naturel.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2015): If it is a deal breaker for him then he's probably a bit flaky. Not worth wasting your time there.
I sometimes don't shave my armpits and it seems to horrify men.
F** that I say. You want shaved pubes, shave your own!
Not all of them care. At least not enough to make a fuss.
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