A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello, all!You know how they say curiosity kills the cat? Well,I'm afraid I'm the cat in this situation.One of the recent topics on this forum really got me thinking:http://www.dearcupid.org/question/does-the-volume-of-semen-a-man-ejaculates.htmlI know that I might not hear much from the uncles and other men,but I hope to!So,the question is this: what moves/skills exactly bring you more satisfaction in the bedroom?Yes,I know that is different for every man (same for women),but I've heard this too many times without specific examples! By this,I mean: "a woman's skills/moves in the bedroom can make my orgasm better/bigger"Ok, which moves and skills? How do we acquire them?I do know that visual stimulation works (racy lingerie etc.),I do know oral sex work,I've read Kama sutra (and other books)...but really, what I'm getting at, is: could we have more specific examples,please?What would make sex mind blowing for you?Here's just a woman interested in pleasing a man, so help a gal out :)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (25 February 2015):
Dear OP,
Read Lou Pagets "How to be a great lover". Very graphic, specific, anatomical, technical details about what to do where and how on a man's body. Just what you are looking for.
The same kind of book is also available for men who want to please women.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (25 February 2015):
 You ask: "...what moves/skills exactly bring you more satisfaction in the bedroom?..."
For me, the most important detail is that the lady must SHOW UP!!!!
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (25 February 2015):
 If you want good casual sex you got to ditch the idea of one night stands. They're hardly ever good, and most wont do them unless drunk, and then the guy will have a wiskey-dick and trust me... it's something you do to scratch an itch, not something you do to have mind blowing sex. Unless you're extremely lucky and find a guy who just gets your body and who you have the perfect sexual chemistry with.
No, if you want good casual sex, you should take a lover. Someone you can see several times, and develop good sex with. Of course, you need a good foundation, so if it's not good at all the first time I say drop him and go looking for someone else.
I have a high libido myself. I've had lovers and one night stands. You can't be cute and nice about it if all you want is sex, you got to be blunt and straight forward, and you need to end things if you get the slightest hint that the guy is falling for you. Trust me, it's NOT always the woman falling for the fuck-buddy, it happens just as often the other way around.
As for specific techniques: learn to do different moves with your tongue. Practice on an ice cream or lolly pop. The swirling technique usually works. Trail your tongue along the edge of the head, and flicker it, that also works. Play with the balls, that usually takes them by surprise, but most guys are very sensitive there and will enjoy it. Things like that. Be attentive to what your partner enjoys, what makes his eyes widen, what makes his erection harder, what makes him moan.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2015): Thank you all,again:)
Thank you,chigirl :)
The problem is-there is no specific partner at the mo... So I'd have done exactly what you are describing when there's one partner/ there is a relationship.
As I'm not really interested in a relationship right now (far,far from it), I'm becoming more interested in learning certain techniques... Think geisha-style. Or haseki. Yes,I'm aware that then (and now!) they were trained in the art of conversation (I suppose to provide for the emotional/intellectual connection that some male contributors have already identified) and well,other things...
I'm not ready for a relationship again, but I have some other needs... (sorry,guys,on this front I'm very much like you. Call it high libido,call it whatever,but it's just the way it is) and would like to make those experiences as enjoyable as possible for the other involved party.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (25 February 2015):
It's the same with a guy as with a woman. The "whole body" isn't an erogenous zone for either sex, but you can find just as many hot spots on a guy as you can on a girl. But they vary from person to person, so my best advice is to be adventurous and EXPLORE your partner. That way you'll figure it out.
Btw, if a guy likes a very specific thing I am sure he will tell you. The ones who have fetishes or just are crazy turned on by something in particular.. well, you'll find out pretty soon as they will give it away/show you.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (25 February 2015):
Talk dirty to me, treat me like I'm a king in bed, be enthusiastic, try new things, thrust yourself against me, use your hands, show yourself off, etc. I could go on but I'm not sure how graphic I should get.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2015): Thank you all for your answers :)I guess, is not exactly what I was looking for,but as I said: I'm aware that every man is different and that most of it is mental (I agree!) however I was looking for more specific examples if possible.E.g. one ex flame really,really liked it when I grabbed his ass and pulled him closer to me.That was obviously just instinct on my side and not really intentional (as in,I didn't know he'd like it that much,but he kept asking me to do it again and again,so I reckon he liked it:P) I guess I just feel that I could do more (physically speaking),but don't know what to do/where to start (nipples were a no-no for men apparently :( ) But that's kinda what I mean-with a woman (at least for me), your whole body is an erogenous zone. With a man-I just am not sure that I know the right buttons to press.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (24 February 2015):
 other than being a goddess on your knees so to speak I agree with C. Grant. It's the brain that is our most sexual organ.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2015): 1) emotional connection to her
2) that she knows how to enjoy sex
3) that she is a giver
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (24 February 2015):
In my experience with men, if you can give a great blowjob then they're as happy as they can be. And vice versa, I could marry a guy I barely know if he was able to make me orgasm by going down on me.
Although, genuine interest in what you're doing in bed, whatever that may be, usually is the single qualifier for "great sex". Passion, interest, desire and sensuality... now that makes for amazing sex.
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (24 February 2015):
 Personally it's not physical, it's mental. It's enthusiasm, it's letting go and getting completely in to the experience. She needs to know what works for her, and be willing to teach the guy. Attitude, attitude, attitude!
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