| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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How can I tell someone to stop flirting with me in a work place?
Q. There is this older man at work who is getting too friendly and I want to put a stop to it.I don't work with him everyday since I have a part time casual position and he has permanent position on different floor. I am casual wh...
A. 4 April 2015: You cant force someone to be professional if they arent. So you need to tell him straight that you are not interested in flirting with him. You have to break this "friendship". Stop saying hi to him. Or if you must greet him, do so by a simple nod ... (read in full...)
Is 47 too old to start a family?
Q. Im 47 yo male. Just wondering what opinions are on starting a family when you are older? Id like a male and female opinion. Cheers....
A. 30 March 2015: Really? One should only listen to those who've already had kids, to decide if one should follow the dream of having kids one self or not?
Then I will say you can't take advice from anyone except those who have had/have kids when at the same age... (read in full...)
Is 47 too old to start a family?
Q. Im 47 yo male. Just wondering what opinions are on starting a family when you are older? Id like a male and female opinion. Cheers....
A. 30 March 2015: Sorry, I need to comment on something another poster wrote:
"So, if you were to have a child at your age, you may have to cope with this kind of fear for pretty much the rest of your life - i.e that every year you are closer to death (sorry ,... (read in full...)
Is 47 too old to start a family?
Q. Im 47 yo male. Just wondering what opinions are on starting a family when you are older? Id like a male and female opinion. Cheers....
A. 30 March 2015: It's never too late. Don't give yourself reasons or excuses not to pursue your goals and live your life the way you want it. There will always be negative people who will tell you no, because there are so many people who just love to make themselves ... (read in full...)
Do you think I've made the right decision to not attend this wedding, where my Bf will be the Best man?
Q. this may seem like a minor situation but it's stressing me out and im a grad student so extra stress is bad. A few months ago I had a falling out with my ex flatmates who are a couple. My boyfriend took their side which upset me. I posted on herea...
A. 30 March 2015: This is childish of you. Go to the wedding and stop making up drama. If you feel so uncomfortable being with your bf (feel he compares you with other women) then the solution is not to stop hanging out with him whenever another woman is around. If ... (read in full...)
Would you move thousands of miles for someone you loved but have to give up your goals or dreams?
Q. So I met someone I am really into and we have been carrying on a long distance relationship for a few years! we met online. He lives on the other side of the country. I liked him since we first chatted though and we have talked everyday since then. ...
A. 29 March 2015: And to answer your headline question:
I've learned before that giving up your goals and dreams for a man is absolutely idiotic. So I wouldn't do it ever again. If he wants a relationship, then he can be the one to move. There are other fish in ... (read in full...)
Would you move thousands of miles for someone you loved but have to give up your goals or dreams?
Q. So I met someone I am really into and we have been carrying on a long distance relationship for a few years! we met online. He lives on the other side of the country. I liked him since we first chatted though and we have talked everyday since then. ...
A. 29 March 2015: "I am thinking of a career change and going back to school but I also feel that since I am 33 and a woman I should be thinking more about settling down and having children"
This only applies if there's an offer for settlement and babies on the t... (read in full...)
What are the signs when a man has serious intentions to marry? How can I be sure he's serious about us?
Q. How will I know if a man has the intention to marry me? My boyfriend of almost 2 years, has at some point said he wouldn't want to marry again. When we broke up and wanted to get back together, I pointed this to him and he said he changed his ...
A. 29 March 2015: I don't know you or him, but from what you describe it sounds quite obvious that he is not going to propose to you. Look at what you wrote and how you summed up your relationship: petty fights, unresolved, don't talk, don't listen.
Is this rea... (read in full...)
What else? Tried anti-depressants, counselling and contraceptive pill to try to control side affects of heavy periods. Any further suggestions before I see Dr next week?
Q. Hi, I have had some great advice on here before relating to periods and anxiety - people suggested fish oil and cutting out caffeine and these have really helped me a lot - as a result I am nowhere near as anxious as I was. However, I won...
A. 29 March 2015: Go back to the contraceptive pill. I have been on them for years, and tried several different brands. None of them ever made me feel like I wasn't me, so in that respect I have no idea what you're talking about. How did you feel different/like you ... (read in full...)
What are the signs when a man has serious intentions to marry? How can I be sure he's serious about us?
Q. How will I know if a man has the intention to marry me? My boyfriend of almost 2 years, has at some point said he wouldn't want to marry again. When we broke up and wanted to get back together, I pointed this to him and he said he changed his ...
A. 29 March 2015: I also dug up this article, which is more for amusement, but could be nice to read:
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/g2171/signs-he-wants-to-marry-you/... (read in full...)
What are the signs when a man has serious intentions to marry? How can I be sure he's serious about us?
Q. How will I know if a man has the intention to marry me? My boyfriend of almost 2 years, has at some point said he wouldn't want to marry again. When we broke up and wanted to get back together, I pointed this to him and he said he changed his ...
A. 29 March 2015: If you want to marry him, then my best advice to you is to propose. Then you will get your answer. It is the only way to find out: you need to ask him if he will marry you. In other words, you need to propose.
If you believe he will say no, then... (read in full...)
Ladies, your possible reaction if you surmised, during sex, that a guy was a virgin then would you stop having sex or what?
Q. Hi Cupid, I wanna paint a pictute here for woman and hear what they think. Pleeeeeeeease be brutally honest, no euphemism. If you (a woman) were in your twenties and liked some guy, just like, not a romeo and juliette love story, you've know...
A. 28 March 2015: I'd probably stop mid sex if he had no idea what he was doing. Done so before. Doesn't matter if you're a virgin or not, if you don't give me pleasure during sex then there's no point in continuing. I have no need for that. If I CARED about the ... (read in full...)
How dare she lecture me about our quick visit where my son barely did anything, when she allowed her son to continue his disruptive behaviour for 30 minutes!
Q. I'm so annoyed about something that's happened at work and I'm not sure whether to confront the person, speak to my manager or keep quite. I work in an office 3 days a week- Monday's, Tuesdays and Thursday's as I have a 3 year old son. ...
A. 28 March 2015: Talk to the manager?
But first of all take a check to see if you're actually doing the right thing, or if you just want revenge. So she gave you a speech that was rude. Does that mean you are justified in trying to cause drama and trouble?... (read in full...)
He left because after I had our children he was not attracted to me.
Q. I'm sitting here pretty emotional tonight. You probably get questions having to do with this subject often, but how can a young woman work on body confidence? When I was only 19 I gave birth to beautiful twin baby girls. I had a normal pregnancy...
A. 28 March 2015: If it's one thing I know, it is that men are NOT some blob, all being the same and meshed into each other. They are individuals. So that means, just because your ex wasn't attracted to you, doesn't mean no other man will be. Even if you think you ... (read in full...)
Don't want to lose my friend. Yet what is so wrong in dating my friend's ex-girlfriend?
Q. I'll just go straight to the question. What is so wrong in dating my friend's ex-girlfriend? I mean they are no longer together for 3years now. We both want to go for it,i can bet on that but its just as if we should never cross. She has been m...
A. 26 March 2015: You need to choose. Its the friend or the girl. In this case though... I say go for the girl. It's been three years, and he's STILL hoping to get her back? Then he's deluded, and has issues letting go. It's beyond normal, in my opinion.
Of co... (read in full...)
How do I leave a job that needs me?
Q. I work in a small company of 12-14 people. Besides my manager, I'm the only one in my department. There's two other depts. I've been here 9 months. My position requires negotiating rates and contracts, and maintaining a good relationship and...
A. 26 March 2015: Your contract should specify this. Standard in Norway is three months notice. Two weeks? Thats a joke. Unless youre not on a contract. Even then Id give AT LEAST a months notice. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's lack and concern and hygiene make me think it might be time to end things
Q. Lately I feel like Im reconsidering my relationship with my partner of 1 year. I feel like here's not there for me in the way a partner should be some e.g. my parents are going through a divorce, when I try and talk to him about it, all he says is ...
A. 26 March 2015: You are not too harsh. You dont feel alright about this, and no one can tell you to stay in a relationship where you are not happy. These small things will eat away at the relationship, and cause resentment. He promised to help, then didnt/just ... (read in full...)
He thinks that someone who is bisexual can't be faithful. Do I tell him I'm bisexual?
Q. Hi all, So, I have been with my boyfriend for two and a half years. He's wonderful, and I wouldn't change a thing about our relationship but there's one thing he doesn't know about me: I'm bisexual. I've known since I was fourteen, but it just has...
A. 25 March 2015: This is ridiculous. Bisexuality is a sexual orientation, not something you "practice" or a lifestyle of choice. It's about who you find physically attractive and that's it. And it has nothing whatsoever to do with morals or ability to stay faithful. ... (read in full...)
Is she still interested? She didn't respond to my message so I unfriended her!
Q. Hi there, I met this lady on Saturday at my friends club. We had a lot in common and danced together for most of the night. She asked if I wanted a drink and seemed very interested. No psychical contact made on my part nor hers as I think we were ...
A. 24 March 2015: Sheez, you over-read things. People aren't dogs who jump on command, and they do have lives. It does not all revolve around you. If someone takes time to reply then that doesn't mean anything! It doesn't mean they're playing games, or not interested ... (read in full...)
I found a box of condoms in his place!
Q. Hello everyone, I have been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half now, rough patch but we get through it all. i have keys to his place, and yesterday I dont know why I snooped around. In one drawer iour bedroom, I saw a box of condoms. We dont...
A. 24 March 2015: What makes you think he recently bought the condoms? They were probably there from before you even met him. Work on your snooping, thats a serious issue.... (read in full...)
The girl I have been chatting with slept with someone else
Q. I have been chatting with a girl for over a year. Lately she has been getting very sexual in her comments, even saying we should meet for sex. I am not necessarily the type to want to meet a woman for sex (only) so I laugh her comments off. ...
A. 22 March 2015: Any man who was genuiny interested also wouldnt wait a year to make a move. Sorry dude, but if you were only potentially interessted, you cant expect a woman to wait for you. Im surprised this one even bothered to wait a year, but when you go ahead ... (read in full...)
Which is more important - love or compatibility?
Q. This is so difficult. How important is compatibility in a relationship? We met online (not dating site). Neither of us were looking for a relationship at the time. We chatted, we clicked. He came to visit me. Being with him in person was the exact ...
A. 22 March 2015: You and him will always have these differences. It is important to be compatible, more important than love I would say. But I honestly do not see your differences as incompatibilities.... Can you tell us why these things are a problem? What are your ... (read in full...)
How do I manage their conflicting expectations?
Q. I have been married for a year and I am still in school. My mother is still paying for my tuition and not my husband. My mother does not want me to get pregnant because she wants me to graduate then work to build my future so I can be comfortable. ...
A. 19 March 2015: The smart decision: do as your mother says. Graduate, get a job, then have a baby. Do you know how hard it is for a woman to get back on track, especially if she's not even ON the track? You need to start your career FIRST. Unless you boyfriend ... (read in full...)
Comments about his best friend's new girl really upset me, am I being too jealous?
Q. I don't know if I'm being stupid or not with this but I would like help and advice as these sort of things go over and over in my mind. My boyfriends best friend moved to Australia a couple of months ago and he messaged my boyfriend the other da...
A. 17 March 2015: Being in a relationship doesnt make you blind. Finding other people attractive is not a threath to the relationship.... (read in full...)
My wife is my sole sexual partner to date. would having sex with friends be a good or bad idea?
Q. I'm writing for the first time on DearCupid and my name pretty much speaks for itself. Now I'm not the curious as in the same sex, but the curious type that wonders what it is like to be with another woman. Since I was 17 I have been with only t...
A. 15 March 2015: Doing it with friends is a good idea, as opposed to doing it with strangers. Sex is intimate, like it or not, and just feels better and more relaxed when it's with friends. When I had a threesome with a couple I know, the best description I can give ... (read in full...)
It was pre-arranged. So why would my FWB come to my house to tell me "no" to having sex that evening?
Q. Thanks for taking the time to read this question. Basically, my fwb came around the other day and after we had gotten into bed and started kissing and what not she told me we wouldn't be having sex that evening. Obviously I was kinda like wha...
A. 15 March 2015: There could be any number of things, but for most part when a girl doesn't want to tell you why there'll be no sex, it's because of something she considers private and not a topic for discussion. So my guess is she was afraid she'd fart, or maybe ... (read in full...)
It was pre-arranged. So why would my FWB come to my house to tell me "no" to having sex that evening?
Q. Thanks for taking the time to read this question. Basically, my fwb came around the other day and after we had gotten into bed and started kissing and what not she told me we wouldn't be having sex that evening. Obviously I was kinda like wha...
A. 15 March 2015: Maybe she got a sudden belly ache. That would be my guess. Sometimes, if I ate the wrong thing, if I have sex I just end up farting because of the pressure on my belly. As farting is considered a turn off, it's better then to just say "not in the ... (read in full...)
My family doesn't want me to marry him because of his caste!
Q. Hi, I'm in a moral dilemma and would love to receive some advice. I'm in relationship with a guy since two years. we are very happy together. and wish to get married. but he does not belong to my caste I intro...
A. 13 March 2015: How did you and your boyfriend meet? Are you of a higher caste than him? In the daily life, does the caste affect your lives and work?
If the caste has no real consequence, and you are both good to each other, and he has a job and can support ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is bisexual and I'm really uncomfortable with it!
Q. My gf is bisexual and I'm really uncomfortable with it. I feel this way because we've had some issues where she was making lustful statements about women she knew on social media and basically flirting with other women while we were together. When I ...
A. 13 March 2015: Honestly, your problem is not that your girlfriend is bisexual. Your problem is that your girlfriend is lusting after other people, and being obvious about it as well, which is disrespectful towards you. You'd not like it if she behaved this way ... (read in full...)
My baby daddy wants to wait till the paternity test results come back and then says we can be a family
Q. It's a weird situation but my baby daddy and I had a one nighter and had a baby. He ran away in the beginning so a new guy stepped in until he just didn't want a child that wasn't his. I've tried to tell the guy my baby's his for 1.5 year and ...
A. 13 March 2015: What does he want? His cake and eat it. He wants the family idea, but only when he feels like it. He was to be immature and screw around with other women when he feels like it as well.
So once the test comes back, he will play family with you... (read in full...)
What should I include in a CV/Resume to make it look good?
Q. Hello! As a lot of you know I have been on this website for a good couple of years now and have ended up having a rather difficult time when it has come to education. I have suffered from various mental health problems since the age of 13, and d...
A. 12 March 2015: You know what? The past year now I have been applying for jobs, and I only received positive feedback once I started becoming more personal. Before I focused on my grades, my education, and work experience/professionalism. But it didn't lead to ... (read in full...)
Found out she cheated... lied for months and watched me have a breakdown. Can the relationship be saved?
Q. I'm pretty screwed up right now... Essentially my girlfriend of over 7 years slept with her best friend about 6 months ago, once drunk in the night, and again in the morning (though she claims se was still drunk). I've always suspected it. she ...
A. 11 March 2015: She threw away your relationship. She did it. There's nothing you can do about that, you can't keep her locked up.
You know the saying, if you love someone you set them free? If they come back they are yours, if they don't they were never yo... (read in full...)
After two years of trying, I still can't orgasm during sex
Q. When me and my boyfriend have sex , it feels like whatever to me . His penis doesn't make me horny it's not that it's small or anything but I just don't see how people stimulate there G spot with it . We've been trying to make me have an orgasm f...
A. 10 March 2015: Women aren't men... we don't produce sperm, and we don't ejaculate. So why are you worried when nothing comes out? You're not supposed to squirt like a man!
If you've tried to get to an orgasm with your boyfriend, may I ask why he hasn't given yo... (read in full...)
I'm not very good and giving hand jobs or blowjobs
Q. Hello :) I'll keep this as short as possible... Well basically my bf and I have been together for over a year now. And recently, v talked about blowjobs and handjobs.. And well so far I'm not very successful at any of those. And like my bf feels...
A. 10 March 2015: Do you like doing either?
When you enjoy what you do, the outcome tends to be a lot better. Try not to see it as a job (even though it is called hand JOB and blow JOB). It's something for YOU to enjoy. Look at it that way, and it will make a b... (read in full...)
Curious, maybe even suspicious...
Q. My girlfriend constantly calls me daddy during sex. She also likes to role play that she is 13 and I'm her father coming to her bedroom when everyone else is asleep. Her father is deceased but I know from her mother that they, my gf and her dad, ...
A. 10 March 2015: Yes, you are out of line. A fantasy is a fantasy for the pure and simple reason that they are NOT reality. ... (read in full...)
How do I get him to contact me and let me know what I did wrong?
Q. I'm 18 and I started talking to this boy on tinder last month (he's 18 too). We added each other on whatsapp and were talked frequently and then met. Afterwards he messaged me saying all these nice things and how perfect I was. We were talking ...
A. 9 March 2015: You did nothing wrong. He is seeing someone else.... (read in full...)
Are they really only after sex?
Q. I am a 27 year old virgin who has never had a boyfriend before. I am starting to get scared especially as I'm heading towards my 30s and I'm still single and never been in a relationship before. I have been out on dates. I went out on many date...
A. 8 March 2015: Im thinking, if the guys that approach you are only looking for sex (which they are, if they always go away after you say no to sex), then what you're doing wrong is to NOT APPROACH MEN YOURSELF. It appears, if you sit and wait for guys to make the ... (read in full...)
I am not happy with the size of it!
Q. Hello people, this maybe a daft issue but it really gets to me. I have been depressed for ages now and well I feel the most of it is I'm not happy with my penis size. My first relationship ended with the girl dumping me and then spreading th...
A. 7 March 2015: How to overcome insecurity issues, that's what you're asking us. And I can't really tell you how, because it's something only you can do for yourself. But I can tell you this, it involves a lot of actively pushing away the negative thoughts, and ... (read in full...)
Is it time I ended my two year relationship with him over his disparaging nasty remarks to me?
Q. My family is going on a vacation. They rented out a nice cabin. They asked my boyfriend if he was interested in possibly coming with. The only catch is they didn't have room in the car for him so he's probably have to drive himself there but they...
A. 7 March 2015: I don't think his remarks were good at all, to speak to anyone in such a manner, name calling etc, well it is a deal breaker. It makes a relationship impossible.
That being said, I do think you are in the wrong for expecting him to pay your way... (read in full...)
It went to trial. He was found not guilty. The case is over. why do some people think it's not rape if it was non-consensual but not violent?
Q. I was raped about 18 months ago, people believed me, the police believed me and it went to trial. Unfortunately he was found not guilty. Every now and then I notice some people who I bump into just completely ignore me when they used to talk to me ...
A. 7 March 2015: I am very sorry to hear what you've had to go through, and at the same time I am glad that you had the strength and courage to report him to the police and go to trial. Even if they couldn't judge him, because there was a lack of evidence. That is ... (read in full...)
We've been together for 7 years and everyone expects us to marry but I'm not sure if that's what I want
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for seven years, we were together in high school and for the last seven years we have had a distance relationship on and off due to me studying. now i am home for good I am starting to feel that i'm settling for whats ...
A. 6 March 2015: Oh, that's really impossible for us to answer. But I believe that the answer will come to you by itself. Whenever Ive been in those situations where I don't know what to do, I just sit and wait a little before I make a decision, and the answer just ... (read in full...)
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