A
female
age
36-40,
*herpop
writes:Hey guys i just got heart broken and im happy that im moving on but i still cant understand y he would leave me FOR HIS FEMALE FRIEND when i was there for him , I PUT UP WITH LOT HIS CRAP AND LIES ! SOMETIMES I FEEL K NEXT MIN IM HURT! I need advice?i feel i need revenge on him?
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female
reader, kirra07  +, writes (27 August 2010):
Revenge is definitely not a good idea for many of the reasons people have already said. It could lead to legal repercussions. And you want to look back at yourself and be able to say that you're proud of how you acted.
He screwed up. You'll be in relationships where he screws up or you do or you both contribute to it. It hurts in the beginning. But really, it'll fade. Trust me, I've been there. I've hated my ex before for what he did to me. But no one's perfect in any relationship. And it sometimes doesn't work out. And it doesn't make it right that he did that, but it's okay. Eventually you might even be able to look at the good times and not feel the bad ones so much. I know I did. Doesn't mean I'd ever go back. But it was a learning experience and some parts were really fun. This doesn't help you much right now, I know. But realize that someday it'll fade, and getting revenge will only prolong the hurt. So take a little time to maybe mourn, and then go out there, enjoy life and being single. Meet new people. And your heart will start to forget.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2010): Revenge is good when u do it but afterwards you always regret it! Trust me!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (27 August 2010):
Seriously, walk away. Some people on this site have looked for revenge before, and it backfired. You could get arrested for harassment, you could be psychologically evaluated, he might do something nasty to you, and you could end up looking like a crazy ex. I'm really sorry that you got burnt, but the decisions you make here can have an effect on the rest of your life. You do not want other, better men to think you're like the bunny boiler from Fatal Attraction. He has done the dirty on you, and whilst it hurts, you need to be working on your own life to get over this. This could scare better guys away, which is not what you want.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (27 August 2010):
 You don't need revenge. You need to keep moving on. Buddha said that revenge is like throwing a hot piece of coal at someone, you're the one getting burned. I suppose in this case, you'd be getting burned by showing him how much he meant to you. You want to hurt him too? Show him how little he means to you now. Move on and be happy.
I hope that helps.
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A
male
reader, LAcreme  +, writes (27 August 2010):
 Tryin 2 take revenge wil only give him more reasons 2 ve left him, n d fact dat u cant do w/out him. U've got ur dignity n pride 2 protect here. For him 2 ve left u, it only showed, he aint worth u, ok? I knw its difficult, bt u've got 2 let it go n move on. A lot cld've gone down in d relatnship, leadin 2 sm emotional attachments, bt u're stil beautiful within, so dnt spoil dat. Luv
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A
female
reader, Oregongrl1 +, writes (27 August 2010):
Revenge is knowing those wer'e his choices not yours! he did what he did because thats just who he is and he will do it to her too! so let them deserve one another why you move on...... and sweet revenge is going to be when you find someone and then you can thank him down the road! because you would have never found Mr right if he had not done what he done! and remember it's still fresh in your mind so of course you want revenge but when you are truly over it and can think right in your head you will know your revenge!! and even then you wont need any you'll see you will totally have peace of mind and then thats when they want you back because you glow when you are happy and they see it but it is also in your actions.
Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, thatkid +, writes (27 August 2010):
Give yourself some time to distance yourself from it. I know it sounds hard and it sucks a lot, but you'll get to be more rational as the time between yourself and the situation grows. If you had to put up with his lies and crap, maybe you're better off without him at all. I don't know anything except what you wrote here, but if he went with what his heart said, then there really isn't much you can do. I wouldn't personally suggest revenge, but in the end that is your decision.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2010): I have no idea why girls feel they need revenge on someone they used to like. Just find a boyfriend. Thats your revenge. Dont go breaking his crap or anything. You said you put up with his crap and lies. Its good that he ended it because you never would. It could be good that your separated now it could be possible for you to find someone better. Dont look at as a bad thing. Look at it as an opportunity to find a good guy. Best of luck
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