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Should your boyfriend be able to hang out with girls alone?

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 August 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 27 August 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Should your boyfriend be able to hang out with his friends that are girls by there self,is it a big deal,an should I be worrying. I want replys from both male an female points of view thank you!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Well I heard stuff about the girl that she gets around alott an I saw her one time an she just yells out to my boyfriend hey baby.. He replies hey baby back I was a lil confused an he didn't even introduce us when she came over an was talkin to him. But I trust him I just let my friends tell me stuff that makes me wanna think he is doin stuff.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2010):

I agree with all these answers. I don't think there should be a problem if a guy who's in a relationship hangs out alone with his female friends - unless he keeps it a secret from his girlfriend. I was in a situation a while ago, where my boyfriend used to meet up with a certain female friend of his, and always neglect to mention it to me. Once he even lied and said he was with a different friend. I hated it, obviously, and began to question whether I could trust him at all. There was a history betwen them - he'd had unrequited feelings for her before I was on the scene, which made me feel edgy about him being alone with her, and which in turn made him keep it from me. But we managed to get through it, I made an effort to get to know this girl, and sometimes meet up with her myself when he's not around. And he always tells me when he's seeing her. Sometimes it still bothers me, but I can't argue that he's not being fair.

If you're worried about your boyfriend's girl mates, get him to introduce you to them. Try and get to know them. It's ok for him to meet up with them, as long as it's all out in the open

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A female reader, answerfromtheheart United States +, writes (26 August 2010):

answerfromtheheart agony auntI think you need to tell us more about your relationship, and about your life for us to tell us whether it's ok or not.

Personally, I always had more guy friends than girl friends, but when I dated someone, the first thing I did was to introduce my boyfriend to my guy friends so that they could see there is nothing going on between us other than friendship. I was not interested in my guy friends and they were not interested in me other than friendship. When I helped my boyfriend feel secure about my friends then he never felt worried when I went out for dinner or coffee with my guy friends without him.

I believe that if you care about your girlfriend and you want to continue friendship with your girl friends, then it is his responsibility to make you feel secure about those girls. It is also the responsibility of those girls to treat you with respect and kindness, that way you will feel comfortable letting him go when you are not around.

If that does not happen, you will always feel insecure. If you feel insecure that means that there is no trust, and if there is no trust, there is no point in being with that person.

A man should make his woman feel like she is the only one for him, because there will always be plenty of women who are more beautiful than you are, but that does not mean that he will leave you for them, he needs to treasure what he has. If he does not, then it's better for you if he leaves because it will save you the heart ache.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2010):

Yes, I think he should be able to hang out with his female friends, in the same way you should be able to hang out with any male friends you may have. Just because you are in a relationship, it doesn't mean that you now have to avoid every other member of the opposite sex.

If you are worried about anything though, then that is different. If you are finding it difficult to trust him around his female friends, it might be worth trying to talk to him about any concerns you may have. Otherwise, although it can be difficult at times, there should be mutual trust between both people in a relationship, with the freedom to spend time with whoever you choose.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (26 August 2010):

If you trust him, sure. In the same way that you should be able to hang around with boys as well. You're his girlfriend, and they are just his friends. I suspect if there was anything else in it, he would have made a play for those girls a long time ago and you wouldn't be around.

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A male reader, Cerberus_Raphael Sweden +, writes (26 August 2010):

Cerberus_Raphael agony auntDo you trust him to be around girls alone? If you do, then there's no problem but right now, you don't. If they're just friends, there's no problem. I'm sure you have friends that are guys right? Does that mean you'll forget everything and jump them the first chance you get? No.

I hope that helps.

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