A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Really In need of help.I have been with my girlfriend for four years, through this she has cheated multiple times, and ive still stayed. Now shes pregnant and about five months in, ive been there for the entire pregnancy and Im always sad. I really love her and I want to be with her but I dont want this baby. Now that shes become pregnant we have no problems we never fight its almost perfect except theres a baby. She wants me to be the second mother but when she speaks its her baby and Im fine with that I dont want it. I feel like Im too young i dont want to throw my life away because she cant say no... But as much as i dont want to be with her I cant leave, im scared for myself, ive been in an institution because of a break up and i dont want to be there again and thats selfish but its the truth. I have lost all my friends because of her, and she wants to spend every waking momment with me. Im going out with my father tomorrow and shes jealous and upset that she wont see me, and doesnt even want me to work because we wont be together. Im scared if i leave her for her own health as well, she is very over dramatic and im scarred she will harm her baby in some way by harming herself. I dont know how to handle this, this is a train that has gone round and round for far too long. How do I talk to her about how I feel, should I leave?
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male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (27 August 2010):
 Leaving would be the best thing you could do. She's what's known as an emotional vampire. She's sucking you dry. You both sound like you have dependency issues, but these are manifesting in an extremely unhealthy way. It may hurt, but I would suggest getting out of this relationship. The cheating, jealousy and drama will not get better.
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (27 August 2010):
 Her pregnancy might have something to do with the way she's acting. It's a primal instinct needed for protection, security, a way to ensure that the baby is cared for I suppose.In a way, it's not unfair if you tell her how you feel about all of this. She will probably see it as unfair because she'll think you're leaving her now when she needs you the most. She's not being fair to you either, forcing you to spend every second of your life by her side, not really being able to do anything else. Either way, it's going to affect her badly.You're right when you say you're too young for that, of course, you'd always be right because only YOU know when you're ready for something like this baby. The only thing complicating things now is the way you feel about this girlfriend of yours.I honestly don't know what you should say exactly but I know that you should still try to be there for her. Maybe not as a partner or 'second mother' but a friend. Good luckI hope that helps.
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