A
male
age
30-35,
*ll_Shikari
writes:Basically, my girlfriend and I have been together for almost a year, and I'm planning to propose to her soon as we are very much in love, but I have some very horrific and soul destroying secrets that I never ever want anyone to know, but a close friend of hers knows some small details of these secrets and has been telling her them behind my back but they have been complete exaggerations as he doesn't know the details fully and it has been causing a lot of tension between my girlfriend and I when she brings what he has said up. I'm now in the state that I have a constant paranoia that if I do propose and if we do get married, she will be a constant haunting reminder of my past time, what can I do? I cant confront her friend because he has no idea I know he's doing this and I'm scared that if I confront my girlfriend she will get upset which I'd feel horrible about. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, yesno  +, writes (7 April 2011):
What are your secrets? Post them here. Nobody will know. Two things: 1) That other dude is sabotaging you. He's a douchebag. 2) Don't live in fear. Tell the truth and let the chips fall where they may.
A
male
reader, serenity80 +, writes (7 April 2011):
Tell your girlfriend the secrets. It is much better coming from you, than a friend. You can explain the reasons to why you did what you did. If your girlfriend is very much in love with you, she will know you as a person and will probably be fine with the past.
Everyone has some regretful stuff in their past, and if they don't then they haven't yet lived!
I'm sure everything will be much better when you have this talk with her. And also, you call this other guy your friend... really??
...............................
A
male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave +, writes (7 April 2011):
Your girlfriend needs to know the secrets now and not later down the line.
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (7 April 2011):
 The only way around this is to tell your girlfriend the secrets. If she's agreeing to commit to a life with you, she has a right to know about the skeletons in her closet. And if you don't tell her, her friend will and you'll have no way of knowing what exactly he's saying. Yes, your girlfriend would probably be upset if you tell her the secrets, but she'd be more upset knowing you kept them from her and she had to find out from someone else.
...............................
|
