A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I feel really down. I have been with a guy for about 2 years now... He is a sweet guy that cares for me and goes out of this way to get me what I want. The problem is hes 2 years younger.. people say age is just a number and I know that. But I have had a boyfriend before him and I would be his first girlfriend. Hes always using it against me. Even when he finds out that I used to talk (and only talk) to guys in class or at work. He calls my past unclean and always uses it to hurt me. When I put on a song that the singer says hes hurt about someone, he gets mad and starts to ask me "Who's the guy!?!?" and then starts talking about my "unclean" past. At the start of the relationship we where happy... until he started to use my past against me, and now he says he wished I was what he wanted me to be...I feel really down... what should I do... when we don't talk I feel lonely and when we do I feel hurt... Help?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2011): He is not just immature - he has probably had a very "traditional" (read restricted) upbringing with ideas about morality pumped into his head from childhood by someone - either family or friends or some other influence.In short he is not worth it.Leave him. Sorry to say that, but there it is.I really do hope from my heart that you get a man who loves you for what you are.Madam, you loved someone. You didn't loot or murder to be called "unclean". I really feel very bad when I look at how people sabotage other people's happiness by calling them names. It is a crime against humanity. I'd show such people the middle finger. If he loved you really, he wouldn't be doing this. Never.I'll turn 29 years old next month. I never had a chance to hold a girl's hand in my life. I feel sad that I never really experienced love. No girl ever loved me. Whoever tells you that you are wrong in loving someone and you are to blame for something going wrong there is a worthless jealous person with the brain of an amoeba.Please don't feel down and sad. Please move on and find another good mature intelligent loving man as soon as you can... I know it can be very hard and you will fear and think of what people could feel or say.. but I am telling you, don't ever listen to people. Listen to yourself. Listen to people only to a certain extent. But you always give your self's answer the final say. I pray for you, that you will find a good guy, since that is the max I can do for you.Take care.. btw I see some shiny objects in your mouth.. can you show all 32 of them please??? :)Cheers!Best,
A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (7 April 2011):
I think that telling you how bad your boyfriend is, and how wrong he is, is a waste of time. You will read a lot of people here trying to get you mad at him.
I prefer going right to a simple point. He doesn't approve your past, so he doesn't approve you. It would be just the same if he liked fat girls and you were too thin for him. You have to break up and move on.
What is happening to him is something you are unable to change. If he can't or won't do anything to change it, there nothing you can do but leave.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2011): He is really jealous about your past relationship and jealous if you now talk to other guys. But he has no right to call you unclean or stop you from talking to whom ever you wish. I would try and sit down and talk to him and if he dooes not stop bullying you and it makes you feel depressed then leave him as he will only get worse and start to control your life.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (7 April 2011):
 This guy sounds completely controlling. It's unfair of him to probe and then use it against you, it's also unfair for him to have expected you to be so pure that you've never dated before him. He needs to get a clue! You are not a puppet, you are a human being with your own life. You were not created to be his girlfriend. You have your own thoughts and desires. And what does harping about it accomplish? It's not as if you could (or should if you could) change this about yourself. If this doesn't let up, you might want to find a boyfriend who's less controlling.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2011): This is an immature young person, who needs to grow up.
Find someone who wants you for who you are, not who wishes you were someone else.
True love is something that builds you up, it doesn't tear you down. He's tearing you down.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2011): Feeling hurt about your girlfriend or boyfriend's past relationships is perfectly normal. It's not helpful to you or them, it's not productive for the relationship, but it's still completely normal.
However the way your BF is handling those feelings is just being a dickhead. Don't tolerate it. He has no right to call you unclean because you dated guys before him.
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