A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello, i have half a problem. Basically my girlfriend didn't give bj's much because she didnt like them. I wanted to boost this number so i read tips on how to make your girlfriend feel more good about giving bj's, and not pressuring her and stuff. So i did that, and now i have more bj's...bonus right?...no.The problem is that she still doesnt like bj's, but she does them to make me happy, like i do things for her. But i can soo tell she doesnt enjoy doing them, and unfortunately this make it a less enjoyable experience for me.I feel like she is a blow job drone, i still like them, but just not as much.
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female
reader, FluffyPie  +, writes (22 April 2011):
 First off, do you have a proper hygiene ? Because it's the same for guys: some of them hate going down on girls due to hygienic reasons (bad smell/taste). My boyfriend smelled funky down there, so I avoided giving him head until he decided to change his diet (from junk food & coke, he now eats healthy homemade food and drinks a lot of water).
Second, how do you treat her ? Do YOU go down on her ? Is it only about you to orgasm, or it's for both ? Sex is MUTUAL, not only-sided, and just like Danielepew says - reading articles/books on how to make her giving you head means you want to manipulate her (oh yeah, those who wrote them should choke and die lol). I LOVE to give head to my BF IF and ONLY IF he reciprocates. Actually, he's the first to initiate, by going down on me, so I have to reward him, isn't it ? But we usually talk about this, we have an excellent communication.
Third, you have to deal with the fact that some women find it gross. Period.
A
female
reader, charliesdevil73 +, writes (22 April 2011):
 I do agree that women tend to like giving head more when they love you and they get their own pleasure in return. Honestly, I don't like giving head but I love that my fiance gets so much pleasure out of it. He knows I generally don't enjoy it so it is just for foreplay. Have you tried using it just for foreplay? Maybe she would feel better if she knew it was something just get you going instead of having to do it for however long it takes you to get off. Also, instead of reading tricks on how to get your girlfriend to like giving you head, maybe you should try to see it from her point of view. Would you like to give someone head? It really isn't all that fun and it is a lot of work. Your jaw gets sore, you have to breath a little differently, it doesn't taste all that great (and as YouWish stated, right after urinating it's a little worse), and it seems to take longer than it really does. Is that something you would want to do? Is that something you would want someone to look up tricks on how to make you want to do it?Just try to see the whole picture instead of just your part of it. It's great that she tries to make you happy, but if she is unhappy is it worth it?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (22 April 2011):
 how would you feel if she demanded that you give her some activity that you don't really care for?
because while you say you don't demand it... the demand is implied.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (22 April 2011):
 if she doesn't like giving blow jobs, she shouldn't feel obligated to give you blow jobs. respect her. sounds pretty selfish. i would never want my partner doing something to me that i knew she didn't enjoy. period.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (21 April 2011):
 It's not good for her to do something if she really doesn't like it. Occasionally sure, but if she does it a lot and dislikes it, she'll start to resent sex/you and you don't want that. Generally women like BJs a lot more if the guy doesn't finish at all in her mouth (just have a paper towel or a towel specifically for that purpose nearby). It is also less fun if it's expected to be a huge performance for 20 minutes, as it's extremely tiring to hold your jaw that wide open for that long, and extremely tiring to move around on top of that. Generally the best kind of fun BJs for most women are the foreplay kind. Also, you need to be reciprocating just as often. It doesn't need to be immediate, but she needs to be getting pleasure out of the exchange in some way.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (21 April 2011):
 Think about it this way - girls don't feel the same sensations as guys do when they're giving BJ's. Are we having an orgasm? Nope. You are. Are we sucking on a sex organ that you also pee out of? Yep, and it's worse if you recently urinated.
Do you warn her if you're about to ejaculate, or do you assume she's going to swallow that stuff? Do you nut on her face or chest? Not pleasant! Girls don't usually like to get messy!
Girls *like* to give BJ's unde the following conditions:
First, we have to love you, and we must derive a lot of pleasure from giving you pleasure.
Second, simply getting you off better not be the only thing that happens in the sex act. If you're giving a couple of cursory kisses and some gropes, then lying on your back (or worse, bringing her to her knees) and getting yours, what's the payoff?
Third, there had better be reciprocation. Doesn't matter if it's through intercourse, oral, or you use your fingers or a toy, but she better also get to explode in pleasure as you did. If she feels continually frustrated, her interest in giving you oral will drop.
Fourth, when you "do things for her", does that mean that you lick her for 30 seconds and then want to go right to your BJ, or do you ever give her nights where it's all about her?
Instead of reading books on how to get her to feel good about giving YOU blowjobs, how about reading books designed to improve your skill and technique to give her multiple orgasms?
We can spot when you do things for us with strings attached. When we feel you're being generous and loving, our adventurous side hits, and you are as satisfied sexually as you make us.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (21 April 2011):
 What do you do for her that you don't really like doing? What would make you feel better about doing those things? Think about that for an hour or two and then apply what you learn about yourself to your relationship with your girlfriend.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (21 April 2011):
 I think the problem began when you read those "tips on how to make your girlfriend feel more good" about giving you oral sex. In my books, that is called manipulation. You sort of made her give you more oral sex, and she gave in but still doesn't like it.
The obvious thing to do is to stop asking her for oral sex.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (21 April 2011):
 Not all women like giving head. She's doing this for you because it's something you like. Be grateful for that.
You can't make her like it. She may grow to enjoy it, but I doubt it.
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