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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: in the last year i have had twins. i love them to pieces, but being a single mother is hard. in the last 2 weeks i have had sex with 2 people. now, for the 1st time un my life, i wasnt tight downstairs. they litterally just slid it up and there was no pleasure. so i have considered anal. but i do have some fears. does anal hurt, is it wrong. does this mean im a slut. so should i do anal? or is there a way to make me tight again?
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female
reader, person12345  +, writes (22 April 2011):
 I wonder where the idea to suddenly try anal came from? Anal can be extremely painful (some women like it, others hate it) and can embarrassing "side-effects" due to the nature of the area (smells and fluids) so you shouldn't try it with someone you don't know and trust. It can be fun, but it is unlikely to be fun with someone you don't trust. Further, anal isn't meant to be a substitute for regular sex, as it's generally kind of a big production. It also doesn't stimulate your clitoris, so very few women can orgasm from it even if they enjoy it.
If you do decide to try it, there are ways for it not to hurt such as a ton of lube. If you think you have too much lube, put on some more. There is no such thing as too much lube for anal. And no, anal sex doesn't make you a slut.
Rather than trying something possibly embarrassing or painful to give strangers enough friction, why not try to actually fix what you've got with kegels? Anal will never be a substitute for vaginal sex for most people so you should find ways to make vaginal sex feel good again such as different positions (things like spooning or anything with your legs inside his/closed will feel tighter) and kegels.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2011): Firstly, what are you doing here? This is a phase, and you are going to get out of it - you will look back on this one day and think 'jeez ... what was I doing?'.
Ok, you do have it hard - twins and on your own with them, and pretty young - that is hard. But having sex with 2 guys in one week is unsettling, to say the least, for anyone.
You need to be calm, happy and ok with yourself. Yes, after having a baby you will feel different. And different again after every baby that is born vaginally. You will change. It won't feel the same. And I know that is a bit upsetting/alarming, but sadly there isn't much you can do. Yes, you can do those kegels, or you can get a guy with a bigger dick. It is as simple as that.
Or, another idea: you can fall in love with someone, and then whatever size dick they have, if there is the right chemistry, you will love having sex with them - hey, it won't be having sex - it will be making love.
As for anal sex - if you are bothered about having a different vaginal opening due to childbirth, what do you think anal sex does to your anal sphincter and rectum?!! It will, after a relatively short time, make it slack, you will have all sorts of problems (not pleasant ones), and you will possibly even have rectal prolapse as a result. You see all those women in the porn films having hours of anal sex - my god - have you ever wondered how they recover from it? Simple answer: they don't. Every time they do that, they are literally f**king their a**ses forever. It will only get worse.
So: should you have anal sex? You could, once or twice, just to experience it, but as a regular thing, really not. And: if you are having 2 partners a week, totally not, because before long you will get some disease, be it temporary or permanent. Don't do it.
I feel really sorry for you because I know what it is like to be on your own with young children, and I also know the kind of despair and shock one feels when one's body is just, overnight, not what it was before. It is kind of like dealing with a lifelong disability - that is how it feels. You are not who you were. You are someone else now. But having also experienced anal sex, I would say it really should be something that is done very occasionally, and not taken lightly: because it can and will damage another area of your body that, as yet, is virgin, untouched and in perfect working order. Think carefully whether you want to damage that as well.
Oh, and it hurts. Really hurts. It is something that is great for the guy, but very much an acquired taste for the female receiver. Actually guys like receiving it too, because of their anatomy - it is actually a turn-on for guys, because it stimulates their prostate gland. But in women, it just pretty much hurts ; )
So, be careful. Why do this? Why not just find one nice guy? Sorry to sound boring but hey ... don't go too wild.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2011): It doesnt mean you are a slut. Having twins will have made things feel different. But you can tighten up downstairs by doing some pelvic floor exercises. Google Kegal exercises. Ive had children but there was a very good physio at the hospital where i had mine and we all had to do the exercises. I could crack a walnut down there now! So dont panic just get exercising. As for anal. It might be a good idea to put that off and just concentrate on getting things in shape again, otherwise you could end up feeling too slack from babies at the frontdoor and men at the backdoor! Not very nice for you.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (21 April 2011):
 Is the anal sex for YOU or for your partners? Who suggested it and why do you feel pressured into having it?
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (21 April 2011):
 Yep...Kegels! Only go for anal if it's something you think will give YOU more pleasure. Don't do it just because you want to be tighter for a guy. And no, it doesn't make you a slut.There are a lot of factors that make you seem "too big" down there. The guys you had sex with could have been smaller than average, or you were really turned on and really wet, or you weren't turned on and your clitoris wasn't fully engorged, or like Dirtball said - your PC muscles aren't toned. If you're a single mom, the act of childbirth can tear those things up.Every time you go to the bathroom, Stop the flow of urine several times per session. Those are the Kegel excersizes. Simple as that!
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (21 April 2011):
 Well there are more ways to climax then just plain penetration.
I agree with the Kegels. They can make a huge difference for you.
As for anal. FF you want to try it I suggest you do it with someone you trust. Someone who can take the time it takes to get used to it. Not some random stranger.
Does it make you a slut? No. But why sleep with two guys in two weeks? Were you taking some test drives?
PS, having Anal is not going to make your vagina tighter.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2011): Without resorting to drastic measures such as surgery, you can look into kegal exercises. They are free and can be done anywhere at any time. Just look it up. The concerning thing I have picked up from your post is this:"i wasnt tight downstairs. they litterally just slid it up and there was no pleasure. so i have considered anal"Are you doing this for your own self gratification or theirs? Because by the sounds of things, you would be willing to do this purely for their gratification. While its not so bad to think about others, if you make this decision based soley on their needs and desires, then it can lead to a very unfulfilling sex life for you. It would be like you are just doing "it" to do it. Do what you think is best, but at least give kegal exercises a shot. If you believe you werent as tight as you were prior to having twins, what do you think will happen with anal? From my understanding, those muscles lose their elasticity quicker. Just practice safe sex!PS And no, it doesnt make you a slut.
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female
reader, Minou  +, writes (21 April 2011):
Certainly i believed that anal is surely not love making.I have never tried anal but i have heard many cases whereby the girl who has experience it says it hurts loads and this pain is on for many days. I guess this is because of no lubricant maybe.To make You tight i think you should consult a professional. He will be able to find out what is the exact cause for you to be loose and might perhaps help you to become tight again :)
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (21 April 2011):
 Is there a way to make you tight again?Yes, they are called Kegal exercises and I suggest you look into them.Does having anal sex make you a slut?NoDoes it hurt?It does for many women, but there are some out there who love it. Good lubrication and relaxation are the keys to keep it from hurting.Should you do it?That's up to you. Never do anything you don't want to when it comes to sex.
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