A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I know today people throw around these terms too much like narcissist, sociopath, borderline, et cetera, but....I have come to believe strongly that a girl I have liked for a very long time is likely a sociopath.I have known her a while. She's very very pretty and charming. almost childlike even though she is in her late 20s. We hung out a lot, and I always felt something was a little wrong. After a while, I mean, when we hung out a lot and I took her places paid for stuff, she would still forget to call me the next day or just call me when she needed something. it was like whatever I did just kind of washed off her. I then realized she lied to my face about a lot of things, never ever admitted she was wrong, blamed others for her own failings, was having numerous semi-affairs but never getting committed to any of them and would back out when the guy was getting too serious, etc. And she had a cold soul that seemed like it could never really love or receive love. She had all the markings of a sociopath.Anyway........I feel like an idiot. How could I have been fooled for so long? Also, what do you do when you find out the person is a sociopath? Do you cut them out of your life? I mean, the thing is: knowing she is a sociopath allows me to not get too controlled by her. But I feel like I do not know her and never will, and ultimately she just sees me like an object, no matter what she says. (When I ask her what she likes about me, she mentions all the things I do for her.) What should I do now???Thank you Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys. Its pretty unanimous then.
I always have been hoping to "get though" to her, and I dont like to admit that all my efforts are in vain.
But I know I need to accept that "getting through" to someone who views me as an object is impossible.
The truth is, I have started cutting her out of my life before I posted this. I just needed the encouragement to continue. Thanks again.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2011): Run. Don't look back. I'm serious. Anyone who describes your good qualities in terms of what you've given them has no real interest in you.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (26 April 2011):
 your self-defense mechanisms will help guide you out of this mess. trust your gut so to speak. OR you can see if she'll go to a "shrink" not that that's an answer but it might help define the issues more clearly.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2011): Do you cut them out of your life?
Snip, snip, snip, that's the sound of you cutting her out of your life, do it now, why are you still here? You should be blocking her email, deleting her phone number etc.
Knowing she is a sociopath allows me to not get too controlled by her.
You would think that wouldn't you? You are more wrong than you will every know, the fact that you are even typing that shows how little you know.
For your own sake cut her out right out and mean it, no going back.
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A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (26 April 2011):
 She sounds manipulative and selfish and not like someone you want to get involved with. Just cut her out of your life. There is no reason to stick with someone who you know is out to manipulate you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2011): I agree with dirtball. You are relatively lucky in that you only like her at this point, and are not enmeshed in a relationship with her. It may be hard to get over your feelings in a short time but think about it, she is not the girl you imagined you first liked. How can you possibly benefit each other's life? Keep in mind that enabling another person's destructive patterns or behavior is NOT loving behavior on your part, although it may feel like it.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (26 April 2011):
 A true sociopath doesn't feel emotions. They are not capable of love. Honestly, from what you describe, she does sound like she fits that bill.
Don't feel like an idiot for being fooled. That's what they do, and the older they get, the better they get at their games. It's good that you realized what was happening. That way you can decide what to do.
What should you do? I do think you should cut her out of your life. I don't think you'll ever be happy with her, and she'll turn on you at the drop of a hat if she feels it's necessary. One thing for sure when it comes to sociopaths is that you can never trust them. I would not want to be with someone who I cannot trust.
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A
female
reader, DanceInTheDark +, writes (26 April 2011):
 I suggest you cut her out of your life. She's toxic. And No good can come of it.
You're right, she will always see you as an object, and will have no feelings whatsoever for you. She has no feelings whatsoever for anybody
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