A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone, as anyone ever been in a relationship with someone where they knew the person didn't find them as physically attractive as other people and felt like you were being wasted on them? My boyfriend seems to make it obvious that I'm not that glamourous, I know he loves me romantically. I don't really get it though I thought I was prettier than he makes out. He said this if he saw a picture of me he'd think I was attractive but not as much as he'd find some other people. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, person12345  +, writes (2 July 2012):
 Your boyfriend sounds like a moron. Why would you want to date someone who purposefully makes you feel bad about yourself? You deserve to be with someone who makes you feel great about yourself. You shouldn't stay with someone who tears you down just because it's nice to have a boyfriend.
My boyfriend makes me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world and tells me that regularly. It's obviously not because I AM the most beautiful woman, it's just because he personally finds me stunning and I find him the same. That's how your partner should make you feel.
A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (2 July 2012):
 Your boyfriend sounds very immature. I would thank him for his comments and tell him "Perhaps you would like to find someone who is more glamorous then" and not speak to him for a few days. If he loved you, he wouldn't be emphasizing this meaningless point. You could also turn the tables and say "That is exactly how I feel about you!" If you don't want to try either of these, tell him how you feel about the comments. I can see this particular guy saying something like "OH, you know I'm just kidding!" Yeah, right. People who care don't make comments like that period. Don't accept any of his lame excuses. This is rude and disrepectful behavior. If he does anything less than apologize, he doesn't care as much as you may think.
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A
female
reader, HughHefner'sPlaymate +, writes (2 July 2012):
 I look exactly the way my profile pic is and my boyfriend at times makes comments about my looks that hurt my feelings. Once a few days after we met we were walking to a cafe holding hands and he said out of the blue "your hands feel rough do you do a lot of manual labor?" I was offended but I didn't let him know, I just laughed pulled my hand away from his and said "wow you make it sound like I'm a dairy farmer or something" and we both laughed. I was pissed but stayed cool if I had made a big deal out of it our date would have been completely ruined ! He does make the odd comment now and again but I know that's just how he is, he's absolutely gorgeous by the way :) but he compliments my beauty and my body far more than he criticizes so I let it slide. He tells me all the time how beautiful I am and what a great body I have, sometimes I think he's just feeling a little insecure and that's his way of acting out. If your boyfriend's comment hurts and bothers you that much you should talk to him about how you feel. Good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2012): There is glamorous, there is pretty, beautiful, natural,all different types. What does he mean? But anyway, it's what you feel about yourself that really matters. Don't let him question your attractiveness. Tell him he's not as gorgeous as he thinks or whatever, turn it into a joke. Don't be put down!
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (2 July 2012):
 I just wonder how this conversation started? Did you ask him if he thinks you are beautiful, or did he just say you are not stunning, out of the blue? Most people are not glamourous, and you don't need to be a super model to have chemistry with someone. Perhaps he is a person who has trouble with white lies, the kind who would hate questions like "do my jeans make my butt look big." He would also hate to put you on a pedestal, like he has to worship you just because you are female and you became his girlfriend. A lot of guys like to be with plain janes. There's a kind of modest, natural beauty in plain janes that's a totally different kind of beauty than celebrities and super models. In fact plain janes have an easier time getting asked out than glamourous girls.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2012): That was really dumb of him to say that, there are things that you just don't tell your woman!!
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (2 July 2012):
 He probably doesn't mean for his comments to effect you as much as they are. Some people just say things without thinking and don't realise that it can hurt someone. You need to tell him how his comments make you feel. Just because he does not find you stunning does not mean someone else doesn't. Everybody has different types. You just need to explain to him how he makes you feel.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2012): I did manage to get him to delete his massive porn collection that he's built up for like 5 years, I don't know if that means anything.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (2 July 2012):
 your BF sounds like a tool.
when my fiance and I started going out originally I was NOT his type. I was attractive but not gorgeous. I'm still not gorgeous and I'm still not his "type" in terms of what initially attracts him but now to him, I'm hot, sexy, beautiful and pretty. All the things I was not till he fell in love.
YOU are prettier than he makes out... just not to him... there are folks out there that will find you stunning.
and you can't judge your self-worth or your attractiveness based on one person's opinion.
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