A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Ive been with this guy for 6 months now and its going great. The sex we have is amazing, we just seem to have so much chemistry and I cant get enough of it! But he never ejaculates inside of me. We have sex and then he will finish off on my breasts or my mouth. I have the IUD fitted so cannot get pregnant and he knows this. However he will never come in me. He says its because he needs to go really fast in order to orgasm, but I think there is another reason he isnt telling me about. Im 29 and he is 31. I have a child from a previous relationship and he has no children. I would just, for once, like him to finish inside of me. What can I say or do?
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male
reader, Hugh.J +, writes (2 July 2012):
I'm in agreement with the other answerers; he is watching too much porn. The standard way a porno finishes is with the "cumshot" (sorry, graphic I know), where the bloke pulls out and ejaculates over the lady, on her or in her mouth - it's called the "money shot", for obvious reasons.
As far as vaginal friction versus hand friction is concerned, I would recommend that you practice Kegel exercises to strengthen your pussy muscles until you can really get a firm grip on his penis. Once he has felt that tightness, he won't want to pull out of such a nice place!
As you are doing your part to help the situation, it's only fair that he does his bit: leave off with the porn and the masturbation and be exclusive with you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2012): Trust him OP, he's telling the truth. Look for some guys a vagina quite simply is not enough speed or friction to finish the act. I know a few that can only do so with the strength, speed and motion they can get with their hand. It still feels great of course but in my experience, especially of drunken sex or of women who were a bit loose (I'm not insinuating anything by the way) there is a point after a while of not getting the right speed and friction where the penis will just lose sensation and go floppy.
To avoid the complications, embarrassment and explanations it can be better to just whip it out and make it seem you're doing the domination thing.
Surely you've have sex with a guy so long that it simply isn't doing anything anymore?
He may simply just not be able to do it OP. It's not like he said he just likes to do that and frankly cumming inside a woman is far more powerful a feeling of domination that breasts or mouth. That is our genetic seed we're pumping inside you afterall.
Both the other posters ideas are possibilities but next time you have sex and he pulls it out to finish, pay close attention to how strong his grip is and how much speed he uses. He's probably telling the truth and if he's not you'll be able to tell.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (2 July 2012):
Actually I bet he's telling the truth. Finishing on your face is a very dominating thing to do, it's not something a guy does "just because" or because he is trying to avoid pregnancy, it's a very deliberate place to finish. Same with breasts. Both that (an act straight out of porn) and the fact that he needs more stimulation than your vagina points to a guy who is overusing porn. You can check out my profile for more links on this.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (2 July 2012):
There really is nothing you can say or do. As you know all contraception is never 100% so maybe this is worrying him. Maybe it is something he has just gotten used to as well. Maybe when he first began to be sexually active this was his way off avoiding any accidental pregnancies and he got used to it and now he can not bring himself to ejaculate inside of you. I guess you just need to respect his wishes on this one.
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