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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Are there guys out there who actually DON'T like strip clubs?I live in a mining town and strip clubs are starting to pop up everywhere, and since mining is a very male dominated field, guys go there after work to bond, and blah blah. I've been told that if you have the cash you can even "release" a girl from the club and she can work as an escort.I've seen the girls, they look like they walked out of a porno, with huge fake tits, and huge butts (probably fake too), with tiny waists, bleach blond hair... I have a few male friends who are miners, and they regularly go, behind their girlfriends and wives backs. Maybe every week or so, maybe once every two weeks. They joke about it a lot, even in front of us (their female friends), because this is - like I said - a mining town, very male dominated, and therefore, going to strip clubs is very acceptable (even if you're married or in a relationship).Currently I'm single, but I'm afraid I'll never meet a guy with my values... I have no problem with porn, sure I'm not thrilled that a guy needs it or whatever but I understand and accept it, but only because those women are fantasy and not "at hands reach". But the strippers look exactly like these "fantasy" girls, except they're real and you can actually have sex with them if you have the money! From what I've heard if you so much as buy them a drink (albeit a very overpriced one), they'll let you touch their breasts or see their vulva. That's scary! I wouldn't want my boyfriend or husband to be spending time and money on that! But like I said this is part of our city's culture, and therefore, acceptable.I look nothing like those girls, I don't have luxurious thick hair, I have small boobs, I have cellulite, etc. I can work my ass off in the gym, but even then I'll never look like them! I'm so scared, are all guys really into that or are there guys who find the whole idea repulsive? (I wouldn't want to sleep with a guy who has slept with hookers either, maybe it's judgmental of me, but I have to look after my health).
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2012): I'm a guy, and I've been to quite a few of them ranging from the fancy type of gentlemen's clubs to the local corner dive bar type. One thing that they all have in common is that the strippers who work in these strip joints believe that they are owed to be tip money by the customer. That is a misconception contrived by strippers to lure money from men who patron the club. The fact is that I pay my cover charge to enter the establishment, and to view the girls if I so choose to view them, and that tipping is optional, not mandatory; yet, most strippers cannot, or choose not to grasp, nor understand that concept. Hey, if strippers don't like not being tipped, I don't really care, they should go find another line of work. I've been called all sorts of names by strippers, and many strippers get very hostile and some even give all types of excuses why they should be tipped, such as, they don't get a paycheck. If that's the case, again, go find another job that offers guaranteed money. It is not a strippers rite of passage to expect tips from patrons of a club, no matter what! They can call me what they want, bottom line is that I pay my cover charge to enter the club and if they don't like not being tipped, then they don't have to come around me.You should see some of them, they look like complete idiots walking around the club begging for money. Some even sit at the bar, take out their cell phone and text their customers. Oh yeah, if a guy spends alot of money on a girl, many of them will give a guy their number, not because they are genuinely in the guy; however, it is a ploy initiated by the stripper to keep the guy coming back and spending his money on her.A guy can go into one of those "champagne courts," which costs approximately $200 for a half hour. At most places the money is given to a male bouncer/attendant outside of this so-called champagne court. He keeps track of the time being spent on her show for the customer, and is supposed to make sure that nothing illegal is going on in there, as well. They are some girls who will give you a good show, (within the club limits, of course) for your money; yet, there are others who will not. I've been propositioned numerous times by strippers to engage in shall we say, "extra perks," for an outrageous fee, and on every occasion, I have turned them down. It was a set-up to be ripped-off.I go to strip clubs; however, I bring enough money with me to pay the cover charge, buy myself drinks, and tip the bartender. It is a fact that many of the girls who work in strip joints are good-looking. It is rare; however, a guy can actually meet a stripper who wants him, and not for his money. In those places like in many other places in society, it's a "big game" sort of thing. My approach to this "game" in strip joints has, is, and will continue to work for me. To answer you question strip clubs are just alright, nothing great.
A
female
reader, maverick494  +, writes (11 September 2012):
Well, from what you're describing, this mining town may not be the best place for you to find a guy and settle down with. Are you planning on living there forever? That said, if the population is high, there have to men out there who don't like it. Not every guy dreams of taking a blow-up doll home who has more in common with plastic placemats than them.
In any case, do not lower your standards because you won't be at peace with it and this will only cause turmoil in the relationship.
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (6 September 2012):
IMO, strip clubs are retarded. Its like going to Basking Robbins, pressing your face against the glass for two hours staring at the ice cream, paying $200, then going home. Makes no sense.
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A
female
reader, oliviaclairex  +, writes (6 September 2012):
 No, not all guys like it!My boyfriend went to one once for his brothers stag do, and he told me, I was a bit upset but didn't mind as it was for his brother. He hated it, you weren't allowed to touch them just sit and look, and he said he felt horrible knowing what these girls thought of him, they lasted ten minutes then went to the pub!He watched porn, that's normal, but nothing live as he thinks that's weird.. and I'm glad as I wouldn't want him to.You will find a guy who is into you more than those girls!If I met someone and they had slept with a hooker and go to strip clubs, they would not be for me and I wouldn't be with them,same should go for you, wait till you meet someone who has the same views as you and isn't into it, and is more into you :) x
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2012): In my opinion strip clubs, male magazines, porn and so on are poor substitutes for actual relationships with women. Men revert to such means when females are unavailable or if a man is unable to establish serious relationships with females. In fact that is why porn is such a big business. They simply exploit those who can't get females.
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (4 September 2012):
 I haven't been to one in years, but even when I was younger I found strip clubs to be very sad places. I felt sorry for the girls, who often had to put up with verbal abuse from the audience. There's nothing sexy about a woman who is simply going through some contrived motions, who is bored, or nervous, or 'enhanced'. No thanks -- I have far better things to do with my money.
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A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (4 September 2012):
 I haven't done a scientific survey or anything, but what I understand from men I've spoken to is that quite a few do not care for it much. My boyfriend tells me it's not his cup of tea either - the whole things is a bit 'bleh'.
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A
male
reader, wiseoldman +, writes (4 September 2012):
I dated a few girls who happened to strip when I was younger, but they were students putting themselves through degree programs, and waitressing would have have consumed more study time for less money.
I like to look at a naked woman dancing, but not if the naked woman is either wondering if she's remembered to clean her cat's litter tray, thinking about what she's going to have for dinner, inwardly complaining how much her feet hurt in her skyscraper heels, or is simply wishing that I and all the rest of the men in the audience would die a slow and painful death. This or thoughts like it comprise the usual stream of consciousness going through the typical stripper's mind during her act.
And an 'act' is all it is; a woman who is genuinely sexually aroused doesn't act the slightest way that a stripper putting on a writhing display of what inexperienced men think is incandescent lust does. A guy who goes to strip clubs habitually is not a guy with the slightest understanding or appreciation of the female mind, so in a way your prospective candidates for romantic involvement are thoughtfully being sifted for you.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (4 September 2012):
 In my case, no. Been a couple of times over the last 40 years and it doesn't do anything for me.
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (4 September 2012):
 Some guys really get off on going to strip clubs. It seems to be a right of passage for many of them and especially if a group starts to form, there is a sense of peer pressure to go to them.
I've been to a few of them in my early 20's. I wasn't that thrilled with them. Sure I get to see naked women, but I also got my wallet drained and afterwards I really don't have anything to show for it except being turned on and having no real outlet for that pent up energy. I knew I was being used simply for my money and that didn't sit well with me.
Trust me, there are guys who will eventually grow tired of the strip clubs and will want the real deal versus a fantasy at a strip club. Keep your standards high and eventually you'll find the right guy.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2012): I'm the OP. Maybe in Ireland they are. Like I said, here guys can hire the girls as escorts, and from what I know, I think they don't let women in, that's what I've heard, so even if you take your girlfriend she can't go in. It's very sexist, but rules are different in different places. Here it's very male focused and strip clubs can also, in a way, work as whorehouses. That's why I don't like them. They don't even serve food and also work at night only. Drinks are really, really expensive too.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2012): First off OP you need to stop comparing yourself to strippers, the vast majority of guys, rightly or wrongly, equate women like that as dirty tramps. The blond big boob, tiny waist look is equated with complete idiots only good for sex. To be used and thrown away because quite frankly all they seem to want in life is to turn on guys and be appreciated as objects.
That's not my own view but I understand why guys think that way, guys have very little respect for the fake blond, fake boobs, fake tan, fake nails barbie girl type of woman and strippers aren't even really considered women in any other way than they have the anatomy of a woman. Why you think that's an ideal or fantasy I don't know, they're just the types of women that do that kind of thing.
It's not a good thing to be insecure and compare yourself to other women negatively OP especially to women who are generally viewed as being lower in the pecking order of life, as the previous posters have stated we guys generally like women to be pretty unique, to be themselves and strippers are not that kind of woman.
Are there guys who don't like strip clubs? Are there women that don't aspire to be like Paris Hilton? Of course there are OP just because you live in a town where it's the norm doesn't mean that somehow you live in the only place in the world every man is the exact same.
As the previous posters stated just make it clear from the start it's not your thing, but there's every chance they'll lie to you as you know from your own experiences of your friends. Look it's simple really, you sound very defeatist in the way you think of your body, the way you think of your desirability and the way think we guys are, we're not all the same, you have no reason to consider yourself ugly in comparison to strippers or other "fantasy" women and you have no reason to let any of those things stop you from dating and stuff.
For the record I've been to plenty of strip clubs, with my girlfriend too. When I was living in Europe I used to go in to one every day for lunch as it was close to where I worked and the food was nice. It is possible to be a guy you know and not salivate or blow our loads at the sight of a naked woman. Besides the women in normal clubs wear far less, are ten times as hot and far more available to be picked up. Me and my girlfriend actually find strip clubs can be a welcome break from the cattle market that is a normal pub or club seeing as all the focus is on the strippers and there aren't people just shagging in the corner, or trying to get with each like normal clubs, you don't have to deal with all the bullshit of drunk sleazy guys coming onto your girlfriend and breaking their nose because they went too far etc. Strip clubs are very clean and strictly controlled.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (3 September 2012):
 Sure there are guys like that out there. My boyfriend's type is not the stripper type. He finds fake big boobs to be a big turn off. Prefers brown hair to blonde and generally doesn't notice other women. He would rather have someone unusual looking than looking like they could be in playboy. He doesn't watch porn or go to strip clubs. Porn makes him uncomfortable and he finds strip clubs degrading to everyone involved.
Any guy who says you will never find a partner who has what you're looking for is trying to excuse his own bad behavior. By saying ALL men go to strip clubs/look at porn he's trying to remove his personal choice to engage in those things. As in, since all men do it anyways, he's powerless to resist. But you aren't required to accept either of those things, there are definitely men who don't do either.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (3 September 2012):
 Yes. I am fairly confident that my boyfriend doesn't like strip clubs. He barely let women touch him before he started dating me, he would look away as soon as anyone flashed a bit too much skin etc. So I hardly think he'd be interested in a strip club. He might actually just feel awkward if he was in one.
In your circumstance I think the guys are mostly going out of social pressure, not because they actually enjoy strip clubs any more than they enjoy sitting at home with a beer watching football. It is just something to do, it appears, because there aren't that many other options.
As for what you heard from strip clubs.. yeah, you are probably right. I have been to a club once, and I got breasts pressed up in my face for free. Granted, I am bisexual, so I probably enjoyed it more than you would have. Anyway, yeah, they do that sort of thing.
Listen, if you don't approve of strip clubs then just be clear about it from the onset. Don't automatically think that every guy will want to go to one. They don't. Some do, plenty don't, and many probably do it just because it's supposedly a "guy thing" and they will get picked on by peers if they don't do it. But if they have a reason to not go they probably wont (if you're with one of the many guys who don't really enjoy it).
Some men will right out refuse to go to a strip club.. such as my boyfriend I am guessing. I'd be very surprised if he ever went to one, he doesn't drink, he hates loud music, and he gets so easily embarrassed by nudity of strangers.
That being said, there aren't any strip clubs in Norway. It's viewed as prostitution, which is illegal here. You might occasionally find some freelancers, but never a club.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2012): I'm one who doesn't like them. I appreciate a good looking woman, but honestly my wife is the only one I want to see nude.
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