A
female
age
30-35,
*ana white
writes:Hey. I'm going to turn 20 in two weeks and I'm still a female virgin. Most of my friends had already sex which make me feel a little bit left out. Besides, some of them are really annoying about it. Generally, people don't know about it and They are so amazed when I tell them I haven't had sex with anyone. it's crazy and annoying because some male friends are mocking of me and naturally, they insist on the fact that I could have sex with them to catch up. I seem to be confident and sexy, that's why people think I'm not a virgin anymore and I always feel like they only laugh at me.However I had several good opportunities with handsome guys. One day, I've decided to try with a guy I was deeply in love with two years ago. It didn't work because he was not the right guy, I was too stressed out to let him in and for some reasons, we haven't had the time to do it properly. So, technically, I'm still a virgin. It was not a bad or a good experience, but I'm pretty relieved it didn't work ! In reality, this situation doesn't matter for me. Well, that's what I thought before my friends and people make me really feel weird about it. One of my friend strongly encourage me to loose it at one of her big party but drinking alcohol and then f*** is not my thing you know. I feel like people show me that being a virgin at my age is like being cursed and It's seriously getting on my nerves.That's not I absolutely want to save myself for the right guy, but I don't want to do it just to brag about it. I want to do it with someone I know, and someone that means at least a little bit for me. Being a virgin seems to be a burden in our society nowadays. According to me, being a virgin is not a bad thing, but almost everyone think of the contrary.What do you guys think about it? Is that a bad thing ? Thank you for reading and your time :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2012): I am exactly in the same situation as yourself. No one knows I am a virgin because i don't act it and I deny it but my friends who know make fun of me and tell me they could help with the first experience. I am so pressured to have sex and I get horny every single day which makes me feel I am losing out as I just don't know why. I am also turning 20 recently and it makes me feel why didn't I lose it in my teen years. Though I will resist the temptation as I also want someone who means @ least something to me. I'd suggest you do the same.
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (4 September 2012):
 I think janniepeg is right on the mark. Sex for many of your friends tends to 'just happen' with whomever...whenever. So when it doesn't they assume it's because you're wound up too tightly and/or that you're clinging to stuffy, antiquated beliefs. That is part of it. Another part is that your virginity is the platform they use to show off their own experience, skills and desirability to each other. 'Guiding' you allows them the chance to brag about what they know without actually looking like they're bragging (so they think).There is absolutely nothing wrong with remaining a virgin all your life if that is what you choose. No one ever died from not getting laid. Millions have died because they did.If sex is no big deal (according to them) then there is no rush to go out and have it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2012): Sweetheart,it is not wrong to be a virgin.Dont listen to people who make you think that you are being foolish.I can say that because I also was at one point of time surrounded by people who thought the same and made fun of me,but I never bothered to think about such stuff and spent my time learning about things which other people did not know about.So be happy with yourself just the way you are and turn a deaf ear to those people who ridicule you.
:)
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A
male
reader, thisisme17  +, writes (3 September 2012):
You should definetly stop caring about what people around you say and keep believing in your own opinion about that. You shouldn't be ashame of being virgin or anything, that's a huge thing that you're still one at 20 and you should lose it when you feel like the right time. Also you should see if your friends actually care about you, because someone who says that and makes fun of are not the persons you'd like to be around with.
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (3 September 2012):
 It's nothing to feel bad about it. Among my friends in college a lot of them were virgins for non-religious reasons and they were cute and funny and at least one of them was a guy magnet type. You don't need to feel bad, your friends should leave you alone about it. You will be happy you waited for the right guy and so will he.
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female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (3 September 2012):
 Certainly not. I waited until I was in love to have sex the first time too. My sisters had all had sex in their teens, 15 or 16, all 3 of them. I was always very proud of myself for waiting. Just as you should be. I even remember one my friends bragging about having had sex with a guy she knew for 3 days in high school. I just felt sorry for her. And some people on here will ask questions about having had 20 partners in a few years time. That's insane to me. I'm not religious either. I think sex is very important and a loving act and one should be in love when doing it. Also it's never smart for a girl to give it up to just anyone, that's how you get used. Don't ever do it drink at a party either! I swear I don't understand some women. I see how a guy will make stupid comments about needing to get on with sex, but a female friend telling you to lose your virginity whilst drunk at a party...? That's not the kind of girl you are or reputation any woman should want. But anyway, you are not alone. Don't let the comments ever get you down. Be very proud you are waiting, that guy will be very lucky and appreciative. And if people want to give you shit about virginity, just say at least I'm not a whore who sleeps with anything and I have self respect ;)
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 September 2012):
 I would ignore them and do what you feel/think/believe is right.
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male
reader, oaksi567  +, writes (3 September 2012):
It's annoying, I know. My friends wind me up all the time about being a virgin, except it's worse for me because my brother is younger than me and he has been with a couple of girls. So he loves to keep reminding me. Too be honest. I just get on with it and be patient. As for you, just relax sooner or later you will meet a nice guy, don't be pressurised too much. It is your decision and your really young. People should respect you, sex isn't everything. The first time should be with someone special and It will be worth when it happens. Good Luck, only a matter of time before it happens.
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female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (3 September 2012):
 Cursed is a strong word. I am tempted to say you need better friends, but you could have been too sensitive about what they say. What they could been telling you is to loosen up and not let the idea of virginity stop you from having fun. Being a virgin is not a bad thing. How you lose it is your business. Being a virgin at 30, though, means that you are clamming up and not letting anyone in. I doubt at the age of 20 you are able to find the right guy for you, or a guy who means something to you. There comes a time when you have to lose it just so the burden is lifted. Many people don't find the right person until they're in their 30s. When you get older sex won't be a constant topic in your circle and everyone would assume you are not a virgin, and even if you are still a virgin you would keep it to yourself.
People think it's bad to be a virgin because it means you are a prude, rigid, or low sex drive, or someone who's too afraid to get hurt. Usually people's hormones would override their need to feel connected to people. Still, you are fine being in your own skin and you have to go according to your pace. My guess is that when a guy knows how to turn you on on every level that's what you need. That wham bam thank you mam just doesn't do it for you.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2012): If every single one of your friends is not a virgin anymore, that's a proof that today's society is more populated with women not as honest as people like you... You should be proud to still be like that, despite what your friends say. Again, you already answered your own question: If you Lose it, at least with someone who you care about. I would totally do the same.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2012): Do not give in to them! Sex is one of the most intimate things that should only be done with the right person. I lost mine at 16, not something to brag about, but I lost it to someone I love. Someone I thought I was going to be with forever and now he's my husband. You should wait until that right person comes because that's what makes it beautiful. Don't let your friends take you down. A quick f*** is not as great as making love to someone your truly in love with
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