A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone,This is not a love related question but you guys are soo sensible I decided to reach out to you..I have an important exam in december it literally decided my life,and who I will become..but I think my family they don't seem to care much,my sisters wedding is going to be around that time..how do I study and attend a wedding??I know this may sound bad but I'm praying her wedding is postpond to early next year!!And I have been soo stressed lately that I'v turned into an insomniac I really can't sleep at night..Give me some tips on how to stay focussed when you have a lot of reading to do?And how do I deal with the marriage situation in the house..I have tried talking to my parents and my sister they just won't listen..!?what to do?:(
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2012): Hi,
I have seen a lot of very good advice in previous posts so I'll try to complement them only answering this: "how to stay focussed when you have a lot of reading to do?"
1)Have a study schedule with regular breaks.
2)Eat well and sleep well. If sleep is an issue, try and use some relaxation techniques and drink tea with relaxing, sleep aiding qualities e.g. camomile tea
3)Don't spend time thinking about your reading when you're on your break.
4)Do things you enjoy doing in your spare time too.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (6 September 2012):
 I think you should just find someplace else to study (or lock your door) while your sister and family are obsessing over the wedding. You could even make a schedule for when you plan to study and post it on your door with little 15 minute breaks so that when your sister comes to you freaking out about flowers or something she knows what times to ask.
During the wedding, you can take the day off. It's not going to hurt anything, it's one day. Your brain does need rest you know. Sleepy brains don't work as well.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (6 September 2012):
 I am not even sure I understand the question- how do you study and attend a wedding at the same time ? I would say very normally and easily, unless you are the bride. But if you are a guest, or even a bridesmaid, all the time lost amounts to ONE day, which may be an inconvenience but surely not too big a sacrifice to do for your own sister on her big day. For the rest of the time, proceed as usual, i.e. set up a schedule , decide you will be studying from time x to time y, and spend these hours locked in your room, or at a public library,or at a classmate's, ...somewhere quiet in case at your place there is too much prenuptial commotion and too many comings and goings of guests and friends ( but, I am sure that is not the case yet, 3 months before the event ! Unless you belong to a Royal family...)
In case your sister wants you to be involved in the preparations, like taking her wedding gown hunting, or helping her addressing invitations or organizing a hen party etc., tell her kindly that you'd love to, and you regret you will have to miss all the fun, but you are very busy with your exam and all you can do is wear a new dress and show up in church the wedding day.Tell her in large advance, (like,now), with a smile and not a whine, and she, and the rest of the family, will understand.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 September 2012):
 Plan your study time. How many pages and how many subject - allow yourself 2 days off around the wedding - 1 for the hen party and one for the wedding and honestly, stop being so selfish.
Also if the house is on it's end due to wedding preparations, go to the library.
If you fail, it's not because of her wedding.
Here are a few website with some tips that might be helpful.
http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/how-to-stick-to-your-study-plan/
http://www.campusaccess.com/student-life/academics-exam-preparation.html
http://www.ehow.com/how_2189051_create-study-schedule-prepare-final.html
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (6 September 2012):
 study for one exam
wedding is one day
why are you stressing yourself out about this.
life is not compartmentalized. you can't put things on hold because of other things most of the time.... I wish you could.
IF it's noisy at home... go study somewhere else... library, a coffee shop out of your neighborhood where no one knows you and will leave you alone with your nose in your books...
set up a schedule... allow some down time... you can't be 100% on work all the time....
you have over a month to prepare....
are you the maid of honor at the wedding? if not you have to contribute minimally time wise... and I'm sure if this exam is a matter of life or death that the family will understand that you can't be part of ALL the activities.
I'm sensing that you're not happy about the sister getting married and this exam is an excuse to bow out of the festivities as much as possible...
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (6 September 2012):
 Unless your sister's wedding is being held someplace that it takes 90 days to get to (Mars comes to mind...) I don't see any conflict here.
You study hard, take the day to attend your sister's wedding and the reception... then, come January, start your new life...
P.S. "Some" say that it's wise to study hard for exams... but ALSO, to assure that one (you!) takes adequate time for R&R... in order to allow the brain time to assimilate and "file" all the information that has been poured in to it. Make your sister's wedding day your "R&R" day....
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (6 September 2012):
 Hi
When you study,go to the library. Its quiet and you can stay focused,set aside x amount of hours to 'learn' then time for the family plans,say at weekends.
Dont get stressed about the wedding,its just as important to your sister as your exam is to you.Support her,and she can support you.A wedding involves ALOT of planning and people, your studying is just you and your books.
Both the exam and wedding are life changing events so tension will rise,but you need to chill out as you won't pass anything through lack of sleep and exhaustion.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (6 September 2012):
 Your sister is allowed to get married when she wants you know, she doesnt have to rule her life around you. Yes your exam is important and will impact your future, but her wedding is equally important and that also has a massive impact on her future!
I appreciate the house will get busy in the run up to the wedding, so it might be a good idea for you to find a quiet place to study. Can you go to a library? That would be your best option to study quietly without any noise and distraction. Alternatively a coffee shop might even do the job, many of them have free wifi so you can study as much as you want, all you would have to do is buy the ocassional drink. Or as a worse case scenario, have you got any friends who would let them come over to their house and you could sudy there? Either way, find somewhere away from home to do your studying, that will make life so much easier for you.
As a wedding guest you dont have to do anything, you literally just show up on the day so there really is no reason to worry about attending her wedding as well as studying for the exam.
As for the stress, everyone deals with it differently and you are just going to have to accept that for the next few months you are going to be more stressed than normal. Make sure you have planned your time, every day, between now and the exam so you have realistic goals of what you want to achieve (e.g. revise all of module xx between day 1 and 6, take practice exam paper xx on Day 25 etc) If you have a timetable with achievable goals you will feel good about yourself at the end of the day when you have it done, so that might help you to sleep better.
Make sure you take regular breaks too from studying, do regular exercise (even if this is just walking) as that is a massive stress reliever. And allow yourself some time to have fun too, life isnt all about work and studying so plan some time out with friends, day trips away etc. These will be rewards for all of your hard work and will stop the pressure from building up so much. Even something like going to the cinema once a week will help you as it will distract from the stress and keep reminding you there is more to life than studying.
Break down your reading into smaller chunks, set targets for a particular chapter in a day for example so you dont get overwhelmed by the sheer amount of books you have to read. Take a break between each chunk, do something you enjoy in the middle (watch your favourite TV programme, play a game online etc) as a reward for finishing the chunk.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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