A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi! I just started my freshman year of college a week ago. It has been a pretty difficult adjustment for me and I'm just trying to hang in there and hope it sorts itself out.Well, one of the problems I had during my first week was this guy in my French class. He seemed pretty nice but then after knowing me for just 2 days he was hitting me up for my number. He's not my type at all and he's a lot older than me. I don't even want to think about dating at all right now. So, when he asked for my number, I told him the truth - I don't have a real phone right now (my phone broke the week before school started so I was using my dad's old phone) but I'm sure he thought I was lying because he had seen me using dad's phone, but I didn't have time to explain what had happened. I feel kind of bad about that but now that I have a new phone, I'm dreading seeing him again this week because I'm sure he'll ask for my number again.Is it okay to lie and say that I'm kind of dating someone, so that maybe it will deter him from wanting to hang out around me? He seems like a really nice guy but he's obviously looking for something that I'm not. I don't usually lie about stuff like that, but I really just want him to get the message that I'm not interested. Please help me! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Lucky786  +, writes (3 September 2012):
 Of course it's okay to lie. But first put yourself in his shoes. Would you want to be lied to in this situation or would you want to be told the truth?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2012): I agree with stacy6308,I have done this plenty times and it has worked
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 September 2012):
 Lying can complicate things. Let's say you lie. But there is a guy you ARE interested in, he talks to the one you AREN'T into and this second guy tells him, oh she has a BF and you... end up missing out..
I would just be honest. Tell him you don't give out your number and that you aren't interested.
It's like learning to tell people NO. It's not hard to be honest and gentle at the same time. It just takes practice.
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A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (3 September 2012):
 Lying to say you are in a relationship isnt so much to spare his feelings, but to spare you both the awkwardness. And you wouldn't need to worry about keeping up this lie and getting tangled in a web of lies, you don't even know him so who cares? If he finds out you are single then he got the hint you weren't interested. If he still doesn't get it he's a little slow and then you can be honest and say the reasons you aren't interested. Again if it was someone you were close to this wouldn't be an option, but a random guy, I don't see why it's an issue and why anyone would care. I'm a very honest and upfront person but that seems unnecessary to me. Besides that, most people wouldn't prefer to hear something insulting about themselves.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (3 September 2012):
 You should really nip it in the bud. You can casually drop it into the conversation that you have a boyfriend, but like others said, it might not fully deter him. If you want to, just say something like, "Look I think you're a nice guy, but I'm just not looking for a relationship now." Or like grymsoul, "you're just not my type." If he didn't get the hint from you doing what appeared to be lying about your phone, then he probably wouldn't take the hint from you having a boyfriend that it's time to back off.
He also might not ask for your phone number again, not all guys would be oblivious to you saying you don't have a number when you were carrying a cell phone. Yes I know it was your dad's, but you know how it would be perceived.
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A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (3 September 2012):
I think it's ok to lie too. That's the most common way women turn men down, to say you have a boyfriend. I think it's easier more than anything else. I don't want to have an awkward mean conversation with someone I don't know and describe the reasons I won't date him. I would just say I'm in a relationship. Easy and done. If it was a friend that's a different situation.
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A
male
reader, grymsoul +, writes (3 September 2012):
 JUST BE HONEST. Many girls lie thinking they're actually sparing the guy's feelings. NO, it doesn't. I would for rather a girl to be honest with me instead of tip toeing around the matter. Simply say "You are not my type." This way there isn't any hope for him to hold on to. If you tell him you're dating someone, he'll only want to try and sway your heart, thinking that you can start to like him instead. If you be upfront and tell him that you can never see the two of you beyond friendship, he'll take the hint and leave you alone. I know it sounds harsh but it's the best way in the long run. Hope equals pain when expectations aren't met. Be firm and honest with this guy.I once had a girl tell me that she wouldn't date me because my hair was too long. I know she was being honest because she explained why she thought it wasn't hot for guys to have long hair. I appreciated the honesty. Now I know we'll probably never vibe because I'll never cut my hair. There are other girls who likes guys like me. Be honest with the guy so he knows that you are plain NOT INTEREST. Don't create a false reason why you can't date because all he would is hover around until you and your fake boyfriend breaks up. Sooner or later he'll figure it out and you would have felt guilty lieing in the first place. Not to mention KEEPING UP the lie and eventually creating smaller ones (or bigger) just to make it seem more legit.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (3 September 2012):
 I think it is ok to lie, but some might disagree. Even when I told guys the truth, they continued to hound me. Plus, you can tell him you don't know him that well and feel uncomfortable giving out your number, but then he can spend the rest of the semester making himself available so you can get to know him better. My opinion is to go with whatever works. If you want him completely off your back, tell him you're dating someone else. If you really do want to get to know him better, tell him you don't know him very well yet.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2012): Be honest with him. A lot of guys aren't actually deterred by the 'I have a boyfriend' response. If he is really
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