A
female
age
51-59,
*ipsy100
writes:Hi, i have been sharing for some time with a friend. He start looking for me and sharing with me. But it become a friend with benefits relationship, which i see was a mistake. Although he told me he isnt dating other girls, i dont believe him. A couple of days ago i called him very late because i wanted to know at what time he will pick me up next day for the spa/massage. But he hang up the phone, didnt answer my text. Next day he text me he will look for me in the morning. He looked very tired, he told me he went out. In a moment he told me like random, oh i had a massage last night, really where? i ask. He kept quite, them told me with a therapist. Which i found weird, why taking the day before a massage if he was taking one today. Next day he text me if i forgot my sunglasses on his car, i told him they arent mine. I know for sure he is seeing another girl, so i just told him, that is better not to keep sharing. Because he always is hugging, kissing , etc but doesnt want anything serious and in any moment i know he will be interested in other girl, and is best for me to make a stop know. I will continue the friendship but must to stop his kissing, hugging , etc. He did not reply my message. I just wanted to know if i did the best to being honest and stop the kind of relationship he wants with me, because i already know he does not want as a girlfriend. I must stop before i get hurt.
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friend with benefits, kissing, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (21 December 2016):
 The moment that you both had sex the friendship was destroyed. It will never be the same again now, you both crossed a line. I do agree you should stop now until you get feelings and end up heartbroken. You are doing the sensible thing. But remember friendship might be off limits as well.
A
female
reader, gipsy100 +, writes (21 December 2016):
gipsy100 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionEaglefan1986, he only wants with me a friendship, he says he doesnt want a relationship. I know he goes alone to places with other girls he calls only his friends, and he says he does not want a telationship. When he shares with me, is more like he only wants a friend withbenefits. He is also very sweet when we go out. But at least with me he only wants me as a friend. That is why i need to walk away because i have feelings for him. That is why i wrote him, how i feel, and that i needed not to see him anymore, at least to help me take out this feelings away. I know he can in a time fall for a girl and he will just stop sharing with me, is the reality. I told him that also. He didnt reply mymessage, although he read it. So silence tell a lot sometimes.
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A
female
reader, Eagle'sfan1986 +, writes (21 December 2016):
If he is seeing another girl and seeing you at the same time then he is a womanizer who wants to use you and that girl he is seeing. I would just break iy off with him by demanding the truth and if he isn't seeing anyone then you don't have nothing to worry about sweetie but if he is seeing someone else then you either leave him by breaking things off with him or tell him you don't want him seeing other women at all.
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (20 December 2016):
 Yes you made the right choice. Sounds like you want a relationship and he doesn't so you've saved yourself a lot of hurt.
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A
female
reader, gipsy100 +, writes (20 December 2016):
gipsy100 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am questioning myself, because he was a friend, and i know after all that happened, i know the friendship will be damaged. He hasnt even answered, but i think is the best for me. I have to take care of me. It is my fault i keep letting him being so close in my life. Before this i try to walk away, try just to be a friend with nothing, but them i let him again. But i have to forget my feelings, and just go away better, also as a friend, so i can feel better. I am planning to move also, when i told him before allthis, he wanted to visit me, etc. But if i get to move I will not tellhim anything. i willjust throw away feelings and concentrate on my goals.
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A
female
reader, Nittynora +, writes (20 December 2016):
 Yes I think you have done the best thing, I wonder whether you are going to be able to cope with just being friends because it sounds as though you already have feelings for him. I think you have to ask yourself have you done this to jolt him into wanting you or whether you really mean it. I hope you really mean it and are able to cope with being able to see him in a purely platonic way. Like Aunty Bim Bim has said widen your circle of friends go different places bring real change into your life. x
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A
female
reader, gipsy100 +, writes (20 December 2016):
gipsy100 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for your advice :)..aunty bim bim
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (20 December 2016):
 being honest is always the best thing in situations like this. Limit your interactions with him for a while, and only meet him in very public places so that he knows you are not available for casual sex.
Start thinking of ways to expand your circle of friends and acquaintances so that you are not reliant on him for friendship. I doubt he will be willing to give up a convenient sex partner easily.
Take care of yourself first, emotionally and physically, before you even consider his feelings in this.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (19 December 2016):
 If you are happy to settle for being one of who know how many women in his life, then there is no problem. You are both consenting adults.
However, if you are looking for a proper relationship, where you can trust your partner, then this guy is quite obviously not for you.
I am struggling to understand why you are questioning your actions?
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