A
female
age
41-50,
*ari197878
writes:Help me please iam getting emontion abused. i have lost nearly 9 stone but he calls me fatty.wobbly and he knows iam hurt by it but laughts and carrys on.does a day go by when he never done it. I do everything for him.he dont seem to be happy unless he upset me.he also very selfish we have 3 kids if i leave he take kids of me. he forever blaming me for everything and slags my family off.been with him nearly 7 years cant do it anymore Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (30 December 2016):
 You need to leave this man. Think off your children and be strong for them. They will grow up thinking it is okay to abuse people like this. He cannot take your children without good reason. Go to a shelter and get help.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (22 December 2016):
 Then you leave.
Your kids are not doing better just by you and him staying together. I am 100% he is emotionally abusing them as well. Abusers don't care if they abuse kids or adults. What he does to you he is also doing to them. If you leave, you might just be able to give them a break from him.
File for shared custody or full custody.
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A
female
reader, Eagle'sfan1986  +, writes (20 December 2016):
Hi I know how you must feel. I was kind of dating a guy who was verbally abusing my emotions alot by calling me a ugly troll and kept on calling me a bunch of names. You shouldn't let the man you are with keep on abusing your emotions because you're a human being with feelings and I say he has a problem since he likes to make u feel bad about yourself is to make him sepiior and powerful also. Stand Up For YOurself AND Tell Him To Cut It Out.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2016): He can't just take your children from you, he'd have to go through legal process to prove you an unfit mother. That is often the fear of women who are unemployed or under-employed; and financially-dependent on the father of their children. They just assume it's strictly based on income. The court normally awards the custody of the children and child-support to their mother; unless their are proven circumstances that it will not be in the best interest of the children.
Does the teasing go beyond mean comments about your physical-appearance? Is he verbally-abusive and does he yell at you in-front of your children? Has he ever hit you? Anything that proves him unfit as a father works against him. So don't fret about losing your children; unless you have issues you didn't mention that you know would alarm child-protection authorities. Such behavior on his part weakens his chances of winning a custody-battle; because domestic-violence and abuse is against the law.
Seven years is a long-time, and three children without marriage certainly seems like you held-out hoping someday he would step-up and pop the question. Well, here you are! On an advice site, asking what to do. Holding onto a man who gave you children without offering them a legal birthright, his last name; or full-commitment to his family as a husband and father. He's just some guy you've lived with too long, who gave you three kids. Now he doesn't like how you look after getting you pregnant 3 times in a row.
You seek legal advice. You get your ducks in a row, and you decide what's best for the kids and yourself. He's getting itchy-feet. It starts with putting you down, and making you feel bad about yourself; because he's tired of being with you. He obviously feels no concern about your feelings, if he is relentless with cruel comments about your weight and appearance. He's apparently too stupid and ignorant to know having babies will put weight on you, and approaching 40 slows-down the metabolism.
Well, you can't be scared at this point. You either put-up or shut-up! Better yet, lawyer-up!
You seek legal child-support, determine if you're eligible for palimony for common-law marriage; and find-out all your legal options. Then ditch the jerk.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (20 December 2016):
 I bet he is no Brad Pitt. Am I right?
Is there anything he is insecure about? A small appendage perhaps? Every time he calls you names, retaliate with calling him "needle dick" or "pin prick" or something else which will hurt him. Give him a taste of his own medicine.
And get out with your kids. It is doing them no favours to see their mother being disrespected and insulted in this way. He cannot take the kids off you unless he can prove you are an unfit mother.
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A
female
reader, [?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] +, writes (20 December 2016):
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png) By the way he acts I can't even fathom to call him a man. He's not doing you any good, you're a beautiful person. And you shouldn't ever lose who you are in hopes of gaining reassurance from someone who isn't appreciative at all! You have so to live for, so much potential. You do not need to be with this immature sob who doesn't appreciate you for all that you are.
You deserve your freedom with your children, he cannot take them away from you. He's just giving you a reason to not leave. It's a tactic a person uses to guilt trip you into staying. They use fear to their advantage. Given his insulting behavior, I don't even think he'd be the one granted custody even in the slightest.
I would definitely give that hotline a call, phone family and friends. Any support connections you have, just please do you and your kids a favor.. Do not wait anymore and leave him. He's not worth anymore time wasted on him, you wasted 7 years as it is.
You are BETTER than him!
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (20 December 2016):
 He can't take your kids without proving you're an unfit mother. Get help from a women's shelter about how to leave.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2016): Hi
So sorry you're with this horrible man. At least you understand what it is he's doing to you.
I think the first thing to do is to get in touch (without him knowing of course) with 'Refuge' or the 'Freedom Programme'. There will be something in your area for you to got to. They will be able to help you. To show you how to go about leaving him. You don't say whether you are married or not, but you do have rights and he can't just keep the children whether he says he can or not. But go to these people who are there to help people in your situation.
Good luck and take care x
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (20 December 2016):
 How will he take the kids? He could only do that if he took you to court and there was evidence beyond reasonable doubt that the children are in danger being looked after by you.
Leave this man.
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A
female
reader, Nittynora +, writes (20 December 2016):
 I know EXACTLY how you feel on this ne my husband says the same things to me too, but like you I have a child and it is not so easy to leave.I see you are in England so I am going to give you a link to http://www.krasacc.co.uk/. I am a psychiatric nurse and we have been given this number at work it is an abuse hotline.Domestic Abuse Hub 24/7: 08082000247 Don't let him frighten you about your children he is just blackmailing you I doubt whether he would get custody of your children.Keep a diary of the insults and what he does, keep dates and times but DONT keep it where he can find it. If ever you feel in danger leave.Don't keep putting up with this crap xxx
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