A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,I am a firm believer if you do something to somebody it is right to return what has been done to you.I was in a relationship with this guy for years a little over some years.He would cheat,lie,and make babies on me. I would look past it but then I got tired of being mistreated and started doing him the same way. I went out and made a baby on him.He would pull up to my house and see a different guy outside of my house we would fight but I was giving him exactly what he gave me.Now that I'm single is it a good idea to tell a man if you cheat on me I will return the favor. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2016): Women have to deal with the Madonna/Whore thing... and they have their bad-boy/good-provider thing. They aren't any better about it than men are. Both sides like to jump in bed with naughty sex partners and use stable vanilla ones for relationships.
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (24 December 2016):
 I'm disappointed you not only cheated for revenge, but did it without contraception, bringing an innocent child into the mess.
However, that's been and gone, so I just hope you never cheat again, even as revenge. If you get cheated on, be the bigger person and just leave.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2016): To the person whom ask about reencountering another guy lil this one would I repeat my cheating no I wouldn't I'm grown now my kids are grown (3) and I don't want anymore.I prefer to be alone than go through this again.But I'm good?? Thanks
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2016): well I for one think that is a very brave admission and I hope that the child brought you much joy and happiness as children can really be a blessing!Life is never straightforwards.You think youve got it all planned out and then something unexpected happens:a curved ball as they love to say.Im sure there is a tribe somewhere in the world that would agree with you. In fact I think ancient Amazonian women used to select their partners for sex and reproduction at will.Women are in a difficult situation.Everyone worships the Madonna and then when Christ noted the good in Mary Magdelana the "fallen women " became popular as well.Hence women were dropped into either of these categories :the saint or the sinner!Of course in modern times the popstar Madonna turned all that on its head by being the saint and the sinner all rolled into one neat package that sang and danced.Perhaps the answer lies in not seeing things too narrowly. In recognising good and bad in all but in taking consolation in the fact that being only little people in the grand scheme of things our transgressions are not as bad as we may think they are.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2016): If you encountered the same man again, later in life do you think the spark would still be there and would you want to reawaken the original interest?
These things happen in life!
Is this likely to be a story with a happy ending?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2016): This is the answer to the person who didn't get what I said yes there was a child born during my cheating and plenty of sex it was a very immature thing to do but at that time I was hurt and I wanted him to feel the same.But we both have went our own ways now he is married now so I wish him many blessings thanks everybody ??
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (23 December 2016):
I'm wondering if (and hoping) the OP just meant "have sex" when immaturely saying "make babies". She hasn't mentioned a child and never used the word "sex". So I think it may have been her way around using the correct word, misleading some of us to question whether a child is now involved too.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (23 December 2016):
 Yup you sure did get the last laugh on that cheater! Enjoy single parenthood and make sure you get checked to STD's
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2016): No. Have some self respect and integrity. Tell the next guy if you cheat on me I'll leave you. In the meantime you should work on yourself. Think about what you want out of life, out of a man, out of yourself. And please don't make babies as a way to get even. That's an immature, thoughtless and self-defeating behavior which only harms yourself and your child.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (22 December 2016):
NEVER return the favour. You simply get rid of the cheater.
Never lower yourself and your standards to teach some a lesson.
Some people will do things to you, but when it is done to them, they can get very angry. Last thing you want is some guy out to get you, and for what? Because you thought you would teach him a lesson?
Never plant trouble for yourself...You may get a bigger harvest that you expect.
Plus, you put any man on the spot like that, and you will be alone for a long time.
Not all men cheat.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (22 December 2016):
 Do you tell your child why it was conceived? As revenge on a lowlife who treated you badly? What a reason to enter the world. Very sad.
By cheating on this man, you lowered yourself to his level. Be more careful in your choice of partners and, if a man shows he is untrustworthy, kick his sorry ass out the door and find one who treats you like you deserve to be treated.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (22 December 2016):
 No. Its a good idea to work on yourself and learning self respect and being the better person, and not let the actions of others turn you into an equally poorly behaved person. That means if someone cheats on you, you end the relationship. You dont sink to their level.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (22 December 2016):
You act maturely and do not cheat on anyone. You know what I'd think if someone said "I'll cheat on you if you cheat on me"? Petty. Borderline pathetic, purely because it's tit for tat - instead of just being classy and leaving with dignity, you lower yourself to their standards and also become a cheater.
Don't say it and don't do it.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 December 2016):
 You made a "baby" on him as a kind of revenge? Because he cheated on you? Poor kids! Being pawns in some sick little game of tit for that.
If a dude doesn't TREAT you right, if he lies and cheats you LEAVE him. YOU don't jump down in the gutter and roll around doing the SAME crap he did.
So no, I don't think it's a good idea to tell a man you will cheat on them if they cheat on you. I'd tell a guy it's OVER if cheating becomes part of it all.
And use birth control for goodness sake.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (22 December 2016):
 Why not just leave the guy instead of staying with him just to cheat on him? Your age says 41-50 but that sounds like a teenagers mentality.
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