A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:My friends are really close to this one guy. It has been over a few months since he started hanging around with us and he's been just fine with me. At first I started liking him and finding him attractive, so I confessed and heard no reply from him for a week or so until he started to send me pictures of this other girl, whom he found to be very attractive. When she turned him down, he ran to me and started trying to get to know me better. It felt very selfish and immature of him but i went along with it. Now, he likes me, and I seem to like him back, but there's been a tremendous amount of talk about him telling me how bad he is. It seems he's two faced. He had forced an innocent girl to practice oral on him and sent her dick pictures just a few months back ( or so I've heard) and he was never kind with his previous girlfriends ( who, in the end, never lasted long). Although i feel really bad everyday about this and feel like it would be better just to get rid of him, I see him continuously throughout the day, and miss him intensely if he's not around. Additionally, my friends are very close to him so it would be really hard to try and ignore him. I confronted him about the issue and he agreed to talk to me about it but, with trustworthy friends telling me not to trust him, i feel like talking with him would solve nothing. I'm really not sure what to do.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (16 December 2016):
 Keep your hormones in check and stay friends only with this guy. He is using you as a toy. He does not find you attractive, he probably just wants a sexual favor from you.
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (14 December 2016):
 What? There are billions of fish in the sea. Just because a "cute" one is an A=-hole doesn't mean you have to endure his idiotic actions. Find a new guy. "Cute" is NOT a virtue.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2016): Taking your age into consideration, you're at the prime age to be given advice about boys. If you hear he's bad-news, be smart and listen. If you keep hearing bad things again and again, but you don't listen; that's being flat-out dumb.
You don't get all caught-up on some guy just because he's cute. He has to have more going for him than that.
Not only that, but if a guy is bad-news; the people and the girl he's closest to, will also be judged by his bad behavior and unsavory reputation. If your friends are so close, why would they spread rumors and talk behind his back? They are warning you for a reason. Bad boys are sexy, but they often run into problems with the police. If they are bad to girls; only the stupid ones want them, if knowing all the bad things they've done.
He allegedly forced a girl to have oral sex? That's a bad accusation to have going around. It's potentially considered rape!
What would your parents think about you being with this boy?
Oh, I guess you haven't told them? All you care about is he's cute, and you worry about what your friends might think?
Seriously, girlfriend?!!
Sweetie, bad-boys may make you feel popular, or that you have some special magical-power to tame him. But you don't! He just needs more time to figure-out how to get what he wants, then how to dump you afterwards. He will not care what your friends think. He will not care if he breaks your heart. He has not learned the error of his ways yet.
Oh, and trust me, he will! Big-time!!! Don't be dragged to the bottom with him!
Well, those same so-called friends will float rumors about you too! That you're hanging with a guy who allegedly forced a girl to have oral-sex, sends dick pics around, he's mean to girls, and he's known around town as trouble.
Just how long before this gets back to your mom and dad?
You better find a better crew of friends to hang-around.
If they include trouble into the group, they're the wrong crowd to begin with.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2016): Where there is smoke, there's fire. False rumors circulate about guys occasionally but this does not sounds like one of those times. If you hear about more than one bad incident then it's almost certainly based on some truth.
What you have to do is not an easy thing but its necessary. Treat him respectfully but keep your distance.
I STRONGLY suggest you find yourself another guy(s) to put your attention & interest in. Being single with no other guys in your life is a setup to make you give in to this guy's attention.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 December 2016):
 Stick to being acquaintances with him. Keep it totally platonic, he is NOT BF material.
Rumors like this usually have SOME truth to it. And I have to agree WHY on Earth would you want to pursue some guy who is ONLY interested because ANOTHER girl turned him down? He'll date you or USE you till he finds someone HE thinks is "better" (or more attractive, more willing or whatever) than you.
He DOES sound like bad news.
Talking to him will not "fix" this or WHO he is.
IF his GOOD friends talk crap about him he probably isn't such a great guy.
YOU don't OWE him squat. He doesn't OWE you squat.
For a few minutes consider this, Let's say YOU knew this guy really well and one of you BEST female friends were in your shoes - would you tell her to stay away from him or go for it? Probably the first, right? Stay away? So why wouldn't you do that for yourself? There are other guys out there. And there are BETTER guys out there too.
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (13 December 2016):
 Seriously?
If these rumours are true, why would you even contemplate trying to get together with this guy?
He only showed he was 'interested' in you when he was rejected off someone else, clearly showing you wouldnt be his first choice anyways.
You said your friends are VERY CLOSE with this guy, therefore they know him better than anyone. They're telling you to ignore this guy for a reason: LISTEN to them.
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