My bf cheated with my best friend. How should I handle this?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going out nearly a year now, and he visits me at my university halls. Last night he cheated on me with my best friend at university. We were drinking in my halls, and about 12am I went upstairs to bed, as I've just had...
A. 14 June 2013: I think you're just in shock right now. Give yourself a bit more time and it will sink in and you will most likely feel the anger and betrayal. I would take a little bit of time and get my head straight if I were you. Don't make any decisions yet as ... (read in full...)
Shouldn't the person who claims they love you also be able accept some of your flaws?
Q. Hi All, I need some feedback on my situation please....here it is so sorry if it is a little long. We met in the tackiest way possible, internet dating site and we instantly hit it off but we were separated by oceans. We spent 4 months tog...
A. 13 June 2013: first of all - CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR WEIGHT LOSS!! that's an incredible thing you've accomplished. keep up the hard work.
you may not have had a lot of dating experience in the past, but you know enough to know that this guy is making you mise... (read in full...)
Boyfriend takes me for granted and is encouraging me to move away
Q. My boyfriend of two years and I had a big fight today. I'm an unemployed teacher because the job market for teachers in my city is really bad right now. Before I met my boyfriend, I was contemplating a move to Massachusetts (I'm in Missouri), so I ...
A. 13 June 2013: i think the missing element in this relationship clearly is communication. you ideally should be able to calmly and respectfully discuss with him how it makes you feel when he makes those comments and he should listen and explain why he said it and ... (read in full...)
"What was I thinking"???Anyone else feel that about their past?
Q. Why do I look back and get embarrassed about some past relationships? It's like what was I thinking? Must have liked them at the start! How do you prevent it happening again? ...
A. 13 June 2013: i feel that way about just about all of my exes lol. there's really no way to prevent it happening in the future. just learn from your mistakes and learn who to avoid in the future.... (read in full...)
Anyone good with dream interpretation?
Q. Hi, I usually don't think too much about my dreams, but this one is making me feel, so strange, and I just can't forget about it. I thought, maybe someone can give me some ideas here. I dreamed, that I was visiting a summerhouse what my dad buil...
A. 13 June 2013: from what i've read, a house is symbolic of you. if this was your childhood house/summer house, perhaps this is indicative of you in your childhood. the fact that the house is leaking, perhaps represents that you experienced something damaging from ... (read in full...)
How to cope with moving in with a SO.
Q. Dear aunts and uncles, I made the grave mistake of moving in with my boyfriend. In my defence, he seemed like a solid, responsible guy, and he is! He currently carries most of our financial burden. Since he is working, and I am looking for a job so...
A. 31 May 2013: My opinion is that if he's working and paying all the bills, the least you can do is the laundry and dinner, etc. If you don't like the way things are, get a job and share the household duties. Pretty simple. But to sit at home while he works and ... (read in full...)
How do I show her that I won't listen to my friend's advice anymore and convince her to give me a second chance?
Q. hi i'm 16 year old boy and I i've been such an idiot..... I liked this girl and when I eventually asked her out she said that she wasn't sure if she liked me. then her mate says to me that she likes someone else and that she doesn't like me. the ...
A. 30 May 2013: this girl is playing you. your friend is right. stop questioning him and being upset with him for giving you good advice. he's just looking out for you and seems pretty wise for his age.
drop this girl. she's nothing but trouble and drama. s... (read in full...)
Does the father of my child want me to chase him?
Q. My boyfriend of two years who is now the father of my child will not live with me. He says I've kicked him out too many times in the past for him to just leave his stable home with his two friends and move back in.. I told him I didn't want anything ...
A. 27 May 2013: Everything CMMP said. ... (read in full...)
Would you be offended if a guy you were dating joked you are a cheap date?
Q. I was seeing someone, everything was going well but it recently fizzled out and she decided she just wants to be friends. I've been wracking my brains trying to remember if I did or said anything wrong and all I can think of is a time when we were ...
A. 25 May 2013: I don't think that incident has anything to do with why she wants to only be friends. I think she probably likes you but simply doesn't feel the spark. I wouldn't beat yourself up over this. You can apologize if you'd like. but it probably won't ... (read in full...)
Keep getting text messages from a very weird guy. Advice?
Q. I was at a party a couple of weeks ago and bumped into one of my old friends whom I hadn't seen for a while. We used to get on really well and she introduced me to some of the people she'd come with, including this guy. I said hi to him and everyone ...
A. 20 May 2013: As women, we have this bad habit of not wanting to hurt people's feelings. And as cerberus said, he's even managed to get laid because of this many times. This is a prime case of that happening now. This guy clearly likes you. You're not interested. ... (read in full...)
Would you date someone with so many tattoos? Or would you fear it would ruin your reputation?
Q. Today while on lunch break a friend said to me, very openly and out loud, "did you see all the tattoos on that guy's face? He must have been to prison!" I quietly nodded then thought of something... I was very attracted to another friend who had m...
A. 20 May 2013: I love tattoos and have many myself. None on my face, however. But I find others with tattoos to be extremely attractive. I also try not to make judgement calls on other people's lives. and therefore I also wouldn't worry about what useless opinions ... (read in full...)
I yelled at her and due to her past it's left her feeling traumatized. Now she's ignored me for 2 days. How can I make things right?
Q. in need of help... two nights ago, out of frustration and in the heat of the moment, i slightly raised my voice at my girlfriend of 6 months. this was the first time I ever did that. I simply got upset over something involving us. later on i...
A. 19 May 2013: i'm not trying to make you beat yourself up. i'm sure you are already doing that enough on your own. give yourself a break. you made a mistake. however, yelling in a relationship is a really bad thing. it's an extremely unhealthy way of dealing with ... (read in full...)
A girl who likes my boyfriend is going to be his college room mate! I am very uneasy with this!
Q. My boyfriend made friends with this girl a few months ago, she's in the same group of friends as him. She's in the same college as him, I'm not. One night I was over at his, we were all a bit drunk, and she was there along with a few of his friends. ...
A. 17 May 2013: in my opinion, if your boyfriend respected you and your relationship, he would never dream of living with a woman he knew you were uncomfortable with. in fact, he wouldn't even be friends with someone who acted inappropriately. that's a part of ... (read in full...)
Is he avoiding me because of the blood or because he never really cared?
Q. Hello, this is a little long but please do read. This is a bit of a messy situation, literally. Yesterday i interviewed a man who i have a serious crush on, a very sexy handsome man with massive muscles, i sat next to him to take a picture and aske...
A. 17 May 2013: he doesn't care about the blood. it was just a hook up for him, so that's why he's not responding. don't worry about it. in fact, he probably never even knew you bled til you said something.... (read in full...)
I have never met anyone like him and I'm really confused by him!
Q. Hi all, I posted a question a few weeks ago to determine whether or not the guy I had started seeing was intersted. I am a 36 year old, ordinarily together woman, however feel like a confused teenager at the moment. I have been kind of seein...
A. 17 May 2013: not having answers is really frustrating and draining. from what i've seen and in my personal experience, if a guy likes you, you'll know. he will go out of his way to pursue you and make it very clear what his intentions are. in other words, you ... (read in full...)
How can I improve my self esteem after an abusive relationship?
Q. Dear Cupid Long story short, got dumped from a 3 years abusive relationship. My self esteem is record low and im still thinking about ways to get my ex-bf back, haven't acted on it though. I am trying really hard to move on and not think ab...
A. 17 May 2013: i think the best advice i can give to you over the internet would be, if at all possible, to look into seeing a professional counselor. a lot of people are co-dependent and seek validation through their significant others. a counselor will be able ... (read in full...)
She snuggled me, I kissed her, so what do I do next?
Q. There is this girl I really like. The last night on the way back to school from a gradventure field trip she called me over on the bus. She asked me if she could fall asleep on me. I told her that I didn't mind. As she was sleeping or at least she ...
A. 12 May 2013: oh you are so in! girl is into you for sure.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend won't let her ex go.. What should I do?
Q. I have been in a relationship for a year and a half. When I started into my relationship, my girlfriend had been broken up from her ex for 1 year. About the time that I came into her life was when her ex started contacting her. She was very ...
A. 6 May 2013: i think it seems very clear that your gf is not over her ex. if she was, she would have no desire or inclination to keep checking up on her. which it sounds like you already know this.
i would end a relationship over this, to be quite honest. ... (read in full...)
What am I missing? Do women just want to play games when dating?
Q. I was having dinner with my guy friends last night, and we were sharing recent dating experiences. Two of us are in our early 30s and the other guy his late 30s. As we shared our stories, a common theme emerged - we were tired of people playing ...
A. 6 May 2013: others may disagree, but i found the same exact problem with online dating. i never did speed dating but i would imagine it may possibly bring the same types of girls in. but for me, online dating was a haven for crazies. no thanks. just relax and ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my family member about my interatial relationship?
Q. I am 18 years old and I live with my grandmother who doesn't approve of mixed race dating. I am Caucasian and my boyfriend is Dominican. We have been dating for 6 months and he treats me very good. I have not told my grandmother about him because of ...
A. 6 May 2013: it's just an age gap difference. the older generations grew up with a completely different mentality then the younger generations. so of course, as you know, you're not doing anything wrong. and theoretically, she should support you and embrace ... (read in full...)
Is this relationship worth fighting for?
Q. Oh, dearcupid, I had to turn to you... Thank you for taking the time to read this. It has just kept repeating in my head and I am left wondering if I was just too hasty. I was dating a guy, who I really liked, quite a bit. We have fun togethe...
A. 6 May 2013: i'm going to be very blunt here with you. this guy sounds like a complete horses ass. you deserve much better. whether he really is insecure and he takes it out on you or he has no etiquette and has no clue how to treat women is really irrelevant. ... (read in full...)
Is seeking comfort and intimacy online normal?
Q. I knew my boyfriend was on online chats. He always denied it, but I know it was him. Last weekend, he found out that some friends had been talking about him behind his back (because of some lies he got caught on). He is very ashamed/hurt/wha...
A. 6 May 2013: hi there.
doesn't sound like your relationship with your boyfriend is going too well. i can't blame you for feeling lonely and as though you are lacking intimacy and closeness. if i were in your shoes, i'd be feeling the same way!
have you been... (read in full...)
Should you be worried if your partner says they don't know why they love you?
Q. So I hear recently from a radio advice guru on love that it is always important to ask your partner WHY he or she loves you. If they can't tell you...then it's a cause for concern. The reason he said that is that often infatuation is mistaken for ...
A. 6 May 2013: keep in mind that sometimes some people aren't as articulate as others, and putting love into definable words and terms can be extremely difficult, since love is often times so strong, words aren't enough to describe how you feel.
also keep in ... (read in full...)
How do you help someone who doesn't want help?
Q. My sister is in her mid-20s. Five years ago, she was in a relationship for 3 months. When it ended, she fell into a depression, which she has allowed herself to remain in ever since. This means that she has spent 20 times more grieving the end of ...
A. 21 April 2013: You've really done all you can do. As you mentioned, there is nothing you can do to fix someone who is content with being miserable. Mourning the loss of a three month relationship for five years is quite dramatic and extreme. I know it must be ... (read in full...)
I like a girl who seems more affluent than me?
Q. There's a girl I really like. I met her working with her last summer at a summer job. She seems pretty nice and sweet and thinks I'm every bit as such and we chat on Facebook every once in a while (not frequently), we get along fine and she's ...
A. 15 April 2013: While I don't think you should let it get in the way, at the same time, women tend to be pretty black and white. If we like you, you know it. And we also tend to let people down easy. Saying not right now verses a flat out no sounds much nicer, ... (read in full...)
When he asks me questions, I feel put on the spot. How do I communicate?
Q. ive been dating this man for about a month, give or take. and it takes me awhile to get use to, open up to someone, but on the other hand he is very talkative, intelligent, comprehensive, sesquipedalian. i love that but, when he asks me questions i ...
A. 15 April 2013: Lol well clearly your vocab is all right because that "sus" word you used went straight over my head. And I have a relatively decent vocabulary. I had to read it like, fifty times just to try to pronounce it.
Maybe you two aren't very compatib... (read in full...)
I have issues with my girlfriend's past
Q. Ladies, Kindly please help. I am a Virgin, She had 2 past relations. Just recently, my girlfriend told me about her past two relations: 1) She never planned to marry them nor was serious with them. It was just for fun. 2) Initially, she had tho...
A. 1 April 2013: perhaps it's a cultural thing - i'm not sure - but damn man, she's only been with two other guys! that's nothing. i don't think i understand what the problem is here.
she doesn't sound untrustworthy, manipulative or anything else you mentione... (read in full...)
Am I with the wrong sign?
Q. I'm a Scorpio and in a relationship with a Virgo. We have been dating for about 5 months now and it’s been fun and kind of romantic. We've known each other since childhood but he decided to tell me he was in love with me during my 17th birthday ...
A. 31 March 2013: oh and yes, and it's a common misconception that being interested in zodiac signs means that you only read your daily horoscope. that's not really the thing i pay attention to, either. the main thing i focus on is reading about the personality ... (read in full...)
Am I with the wrong sign?
Q. I'm a Scorpio and in a relationship with a Virgo. We have been dating for about 5 months now and it’s been fun and kind of romantic. We've known each other since childhood but he decided to tell me he was in love with me during my 17th birthday ...
A. 31 March 2013: hey don't let others make you feel bad about enjoying and reading up about these things. i am an aquarius and i find these things really interesting, myself. i don't necessarily hold them to be scientific truth, however, it is really interesting and ... (read in full...)
Why is my friend reaching out to my enemy?
Q. I "broke up" with my former best friend Margo three years ago. There's no love lost and I am very happy to have her out of my life. Not getting into the details, I truly believe that I was completely in the right to permanently cut off all contact ...
A. 30 March 2013: maybe i'm the wrong person to respond to this situation, but honestly, it just sounds like a lot of needless drama, dear.
as you said, anne is allowed to have friends. just because she met her through you doesn't mean that she can't become c... (read in full...)
Why do women treat nice guys badly?
Q. hi, to all you women who say you want to meet a nice guy, but when you do, you treat him like sh.t, but a bad guy comes around you fall madly in love, you all say thats not true, but think about it,a nice guy you know what hes going to say, what hes ...
A. 28 March 2013: i don't think this is a gender/sex issue so much as it is a human issue. i have plenty of straight friends whom all say the same exact thing about the opposite sex. women complain about men treating them poorly when they make themselves available, ... (read in full...)
I'm in pain over someone who doesn't even think of me
Q. hello, well met someone last year lasted 3 month ,treated her like an angel. Wrote poems, dancing, open every door,sweet talker, romantic. her ex beat her all the time. it was going great i thought, fantastic. went on a 3 day trip, that weekend ...
A. 26 March 2013: you are certainly not wrong to assume she didn't go to vegas. i'd bet everything in my bank account she went and met up with him after he got out of jail. battered women tend to go back time after time after time. it's like an addiction. it's ... (read in full...)
If you've just started seeing someone, when is the right time to have sex?
Q. Hey y'all To start off, I've started seeing this guy recently. He's older than me by 5 years, but our personalities seem to really suit one another, which is why I think we really hit off so far. So, we've talking for 2 weeks now. We've g...
A. 26 March 2013: well the typical answer would be to say that the best time is when it feels right to both of you. but lets be honest, we both know that if a guy gets you in bed right off the bat, you can pretty much kiss a relationship goodbye.
you definite... (read in full...)
How do I to stop feeling humiliated after being rejected by a friend?
Q. A year ago I had a thing for a friend. Everybody in our big circle of friends knew. People kept pushing us towards each other and a few people thought we were actually dating because we spent a lot of time together. For the longest time I thought he ...
A. 26 March 2013: sweetheart, you didn't do anythinig wrong. the guy gave you all the signs he was interested in you and you were brave enough to be honest about it. you did nothing wrong at all. if he's not man enough or adult enough to handle that like a grown up, ... (read in full...)
Should I ask her again, go for it and make a move, or just give up on her?
Q. Not really looking for an answer, mainly here to vent, but any input would be nice. So I’m 21 and I met this girl, she’s 23 if that matters, from a mutual friend a few months back. I won’t lie, the moment I laid eyes on her, I was attracted to her...
A. 26 March 2013: honestly, if i were you, i wouldn't say anything to her and i would chalk this up to a lost cause, unfortunately.
most women, once you're friend-zoned, you're always friend-zoned. if she wants more, she'll make it very clear. otherwise, treat he... (read in full...)
Is jealousy a way of showing that you care?
Q. Is jealousy a way of showing that you care? I'm just wondering if acting jealous is really someones way of showing you that they care about you, and your well being. My bf is not jealous at all, he doesn't mind who I am friends with, who I talk...
A. 25 March 2013: I don't care what anyone says, a little bit of jealousy is completely healthy. Anyone who says they don't ever get jealous because they trust their partner 100% is full of shit. But it also sounds like your ex was controlling. Telling me what i can ... (read in full...)
We break up constantly but I find it hard to walk away for good because of my young son, and bills.
Q. i have been with my partner for over four years, we have a son together who is 2 and half years old. for the last two years all we have done is split up, we have split up well over 300 times! the only reason i have stuck with this man is because of ...
A. 24 March 2013: you two need some space from each other in the very least. or if you do try to make it work, definitely get some counseling together.
you can be a pushover all you want when you're not a mother, but the moment you bring a child into the mix, tha... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't know how to kiss and is not interested in any form of intimacy.
Q. Though the relationship is only new, me and my boyfriend get on really well. However, there is one problem. He really can't kiss and I'm his first. I got out of an 8 month relationship about 2 months before I started dating him, however. But th...
A. 24 March 2013: sounds like he's just incredibly shy. has he ever had a giflfriend before? if not, he may not really know what to do. or perhaps he has had a woman tell him he sucks in the past and now he has a complex and no confidence in himself.
just talk to ... (read in full...)
Should I be concerned that my LDR boyfriend doesn't text or call me as much?
Q. Hi, I'm a single mother of two. I've been single for 4 years and while i have went out on dates, I never found anyone that I thought I could have a future with. Here's the thing I met a guy about a month ago, he is really sweet a respectful to me, ...
A. 24 March 2013: i'm sure he'll contact you. just be patient. i'm sure he has his reasons. all will be fine. :)... (read in full...)
Will you let go of your cat you love if your mate has a terrifying phobia?
Q. I am interested in pursuing a relationship with a good friend of mine. We were once in a romantic relationship that ended because of the distance but now we realize we can't do without each other. He is planning to move down here with me so we ca...
A. 24 March 2013: ummm .. yeah dude. your business didn't fail because you suck and blew it. it was this cat spirit bullshit that caused it. and your last relationship didn't fail because you're nuttier than squirrel turds. it's because of that pesky cat spirit crap ... (read in full...)
He was my first love. Breaking up has been so difficult. How can I remove this pit of sorrow from my heart?
Q. Four months ago, my relationship of over a year came to an end. At the time, we both felt that it was the right thing to do as our arguments were becoming more frequent and the general chemistry was lacking. I had been contemplating br...
A. 24 March 2013: hey there.
sometimes, when people go through a hurtful breakup or life change, they do transform themselves into different people. it's kind of the way some people learn to get over someone they really cared about and adapt to drastic and overwhel... (read in full...)
| *lifton's friends
These are mutual friends, so *lifton has
added them and they have added *lifton!
|
