He was my first love. Breaking up has been so difficult. How can I remove this pit of sorrow from my heart?
Q. Four months ago, my relationship of over a year came to an end. At the time, we both felt that it was the right thing to do as our arguments were becoming more frequent and the general chemistry was lacking. I had been contemplating br...
A. 24 March 2013: hey there.
sometimes, when people go through a hurtful breakup or life change, they do transform themselves into different people. it's kind of the way some people learn to get over someone they really cared about and adapt to drastic and overwhel... (read in full...)
I love her but I'm emotionally drained, am I wasting my time? Should I put some distance between us?
Q. I'm dating a woman 16year younger than me. We get along most of the time but our bad times are or feel extreme. I have trust issues with her due to her deleting texts after snding and having multiple numbers under a contact e.g. she has my number ...
A. 23 March 2013: you should put a lot of distance between you. so much so that you don't see her anymore. lol.
she's a liar and a cheater. you know this. some reason you're trying to deny it to yourself. the sooner you get away from this woman, the better you'll f... (read in full...)
Should I leave him? I can't get the bad memories out of my head!!!
Q. I don't know if I should leave my boyfriend of almost 4 years over this... (This is going to be long but please bear with me!!!) When we first started dating I was struggling very much with a deep depression and self-esteem issues brought on by my...
A. 23 March 2013: this is in no way to lay blame on you or anything at all. but you say that you have gone to therapy and are in a much better place emotionally. now all of a sudden HE'S done a 180 and has treated you completely different? is it remotely possible ... (read in full...)
What do her actions mean? After her refusal she told me to ask her again later. Should I ask her again?
Q. We just got out of a late class, and I asked her if she wanted to go bowling; she stated that she couldn't pay for anything at the moment, and it seemed she was thinking about it, then told me she has an hour's drive and couldn't. After that she...
A. 23 March 2013: Sure, ask her again if you want. Or change it up and ask when she's free next week. Tell her you'd like to take her to dinner or something and to let you know what day is best for her. This way she can't use the whole long drive or early work/class ... (read in full...)
Why did I let him turn me into someone I hate?
Q. I dated this guy last year, and I had only known him for 2 months when we started dating. I was completely innocent when we started dating, and he had a lot of sexual experience with girls before me. At first the relationship started steadily...
A. 23 March 2013: Sweetie, lots of women ask themselves things like this. "Why did I put up with that treatment?" "Why did I stay when he made me feel so bad?" Etc. But you see, you're asking the wrong questions. Don't focus on that. The past is the past and our ... (read in full...)
Is my uni mate interested in me or just joking around?
Q. I am getting mixed signals from a uni mate. We are both 19 and she is in an on and off relationship with a lad I have never met. She always says 'I wish you were my boyfriend' and 'aww, you're so cute', mainly because I can be a bit shy and ...
A. 23 March 2013: in my honest opinion, no, i don't think she's interested. i think she's just being playful.
she may see you like a little brother or something. i wouldn't say things like that unless i was just poking fun and joking around.
of course, that's j... (read in full...)
I thought she loved me but she broke up with me saying I'm too angry all the time
Q. hi..im 19...ive been in a relationship with this girl for one year six months...we love each other or loved each other...she always says im angry all the time but its not my fault...my parents hate me...and im constantly being targeted by my ...
A. 23 March 2013: no, relationships aren't like that. at least not healthy ones. sure, fighting happens on occasion. but in a healthy relationship, it should be seldom. and not only that, but technically it shouldn't be "fighting." it should be a calm sharing of ... (read in full...)
On a trip I had a drunken hookup, is it time to end things with my boyfriend?
Q. I went away on a university trip abroad and (very drunkenly) hooked up with one of my classmates. I have a boyfriend of two years, and have been having doubts about the relationship for a while but cheating just further assured me - is it worth ...
A. 23 March 2013: only you can know what truly is in your heart. but from the sound of it, it's time to move on and cut your boyfriend loose.
i think when you really love someone, cheating is the last thing on your mind. we all go through ups and downs and bad patc... (read in full...)
I thought we loved one another not to give up on us but now my b/f doesn't know what he wants
Q. my boyfriend and i been together for almost two years. we have had our trouble, both making big mistakes. things i wish i could take back. but he told me that he has forgave me. lately there been stuff going on with him and he is pushing me away....
A. 23 March 2013: hi there.
so what kind of a meltdown is he having? i'm confused with what he's saying is going on with him. i guess i just don't really understand what's causing him to suddenly not be able to be with you.
the only thing you really can do is... (read in full...)
Do you think the man I'm cheating on my husband is in love with me?
Q. I've been having sex with him for three months. I'm married, he's single.I fell hard for him and he knows it. Despite knowing my feelings, he still wanted to meet me and have contact with me. He told me he'll never become attached to a married ...
A. 23 March 2013: sweetheart, don't get the divorce because of this guy. get the divorce because that's clearly what you need, regardless of this man.... (read in full...)
Should I call off my engagement? He is possesive but my family need his money....
Q. Hello all, I would really be grateful if anyone can guide me through this problem I'm facing. Iv met my current fiance 1 year ago, we've started talking and we directly clicked, he's a really really well off business man who is much older than me,...
A. 22 March 2013: run for the hills!... (read in full...)
How do I discourage my girlfriend's personal trainer or shouldn't she be doing that?
Q. My Girlfriend has a male friend (15 years) that used to be her physical trainer. He wants to train her again for free and has offered to train her to ber in fitness contests.I am a little skeptical about his part of the "friendship". He seems to ...
A. 22 March 2013: hey man. got back together with her? i thought you two broke up?
anyway, if this is STILL a problem for you, why are you with her, buddy? it's an ongoing thing. it's clearly not gonna change. either you accept it for how it is or you don't. e... (read in full...)
Do you think the man I'm cheating on my husband is in love with me?
Q. I've been having sex with him for three months. I'm married, he's single.I fell hard for him and he knows it. Despite knowing my feelings, he still wanted to meet me and have contact with me. He told me he'll never become attached to a married ...
A. 22 March 2013: well my ultimate advice is to tell you to leave each other alone and focus on your husband. i know, typical, right? either that or put all of your effort into getting a divorce so that the next single guy you meet, you stand a chance with, rather ... (read in full...)
Why am I still hurting from getting fingered a week later
Q. I am 16 yr old sophomore and my senior boyfriend who is 18. We really hadn't done anything else but make out. Until this year, last week was spring break and we went to the beach and we had talked about doing more than kissing but I ha no idea it ...
A. 22 March 2013: ouch!! it's hurting because your boyfriend doesn't know what he's doing! you don't jam three massive fingers inside of a girl who has never done that with anyone before. bless your heart. no wonder you're in pain.
since this is your first time eve... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and just found out my boyfriend cheated. What should I do now? I'm lost and just need to talk.
Q. Today has been a bad day for me. I found out that my boyfriend is in jail again. I looked up his record because I was wondering why I have not heard from him in 2 days and that's how I found out. Its not like him to not talk to me for two days.Then ...
A. 22 March 2013: hey sweetie. i'm so sorry to hear about this bad news. i know that's more than a little overwhelming and shocking all for one days time.
one thing i think you need to think about before you decide to stay with him is that this other woman is bound... (read in full...)
I'd like to return his parents' kindness but he's telling me not to
Q. My boyfriend informed me a couple days ago that his mother is planning on giving me a basket for Easter. This will be the first time in ages since I got anything for Easter. My boyfriend doesn't get along with parents, especially his dad. Anyway, I ...
A. 22 March 2013: i would be really uncomfortable receiving gifts if i couldn't give anything back ever.
could you at least send them a thank you card? would he be mad about that, for whatever reason?
i am like you, i wouldn't be okay with this arrangement of n... (read in full...)
I am possessive of my friends to a point of doing bad things to ruin a friendship.
Q. I have a problem, at first I thought its just a 'phase' that I would get over eventually but sadly no! I'm very possesive of my friends(girlfriends), I don't mind them being friends with others but the minute I feel they are getting close and mayb...
A. 21 March 2013: well at least you recognize this pattern and trait and are wanting to fix it sooner than later. to an extent, it is rather childsh, but honestly, i think women back stab each other in this way rather frequently. it's quite sad.
i think you may ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to want anal sex with my wife?
Q. Is it normal to want anal sex with my wife, she's got a lovely arse and she's the only person I want it with, we have been together for 20 + years and have a fantastic sex life, I'm just wondering if my penis would be too big for her, it's 6 ins but ...
A. 21 March 2013: lol well i don't really know the size of your wife's butt hole, so there's really no way to say. i mean that with much love, lol. the only way one could know for certain if it was too big would be to try.
as for is it normal? sure, why not? lot... (read in full...)
How would you react to a $20 engagement ring from a well-off guy?
Q. Hello everyone, My boyfriend proposed with a ring that he paid 20 dollars. If he was earning a low income, I would not be asking for advice. However, he drives an expensive car, has about 50 pairs of shoes, good job, etc. should I be upset? Am I ...
A. 21 March 2013: hmmmm this is a toughy as some people will say it's the thought that matters, not the money. however, in this instance, there was clearly no thought put into it at all, and i don't think it makes you selfish for being highly disappointed. honestly, ... (read in full...)
I'm just not interested in guys or sex
Q. Why am I not interested in guys or sex? I've been single for 2years now and I don't feel like being with anyone. I signed up on a dating site cause I felt like I wanted to meet a nice guy and fall in love and hold hands and so all the...
A. 21 March 2013: you say that you loved your ex a lot, but he cheated and dumped you. is it possible that this is effecting your desire to get back out there and open up? i know for me, once i got out of a past relationship where i got hurt, i was not looking for ... (read in full...)
Not sure that either of us still wants to be in this relationship, but how do I tell him?
Q. I'm having relationship problems. And honestly everyone telling me to stick with it and see where it goes. But I don't want to. I think I like someone else. And I know that sounds bad but its the guy I have known for over 10 years I believe. And I ...
A. 21 March 2013: breaking up really just sucks. there's no good way to go about it. you just gotta do it. face to face is usually best because it's a bit more respectful than a text or phone call. but either way, you just have to be honest. you don't have to tell ... (read in full...)
What if you can't forgive your partner for cheating?
Q. Hello. My name's Luan and I'm writing from Brazil. I'm not going to bother you with the whole story of my life and my relation, so I'll go straight to the point, asking you this. What to do.. If you are not able to forgive your partner after he...
A. 21 March 2013: for me, personally, i have learned from past experiences that i can't move on once a partner has cheated. the trust is the primary component in your relationship, and is the fiber that holds you together, especially during tough times. this means ... (read in full...)
I can't accept that my husband was in prison for a sex crime but the families all give me a hard time!
Q. I've been married 20 years, my husband has been a troubled person for the majority of those years, we now have 2 adult children. 6 years ago my husband was sentenced to 6 years in jail shortly after his conviction, I learned that he was doing time ...
A. 21 March 2013: wow, that's incredibly hard for me to understand why your family and church would encourage you to stay in such a relationship.
you are in no way wrong for how you feel. from the churches perspective, their logic makes absolutely no sense to me. f... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says if I'm tired of him I should just give up on him
Q. Here's my story, I have a 3 year old daughter and I'm 6 months pregnant with my second child. Lately my boyfriend(the father of my children) has been having health problems, and he is having self pity. He told me that if I'm tired of him, I could ...
A. 21 March 2013: sounds to me like he's just feeling down on himself and feels like a burden to you. he doesn't want to have to keep causing you so much stress on his behalf. i guess this was his way of trying to let you know that you aren't stuck with him. this is ... (read in full...)
I cheated with a married family friend and now feel crushed that he has ended things
Q. I made the bad decision to cheat on my husband but I don't know what makes me feel worse... The fact that I cheated or that the other guy broke it off because he doesn't want to hurt his wife. We are all very close and have been friends for years. ...
A. 21 March 2013: judgment within ourselves about ourselves is important. knowing right from wrong and holding ourelves to a strong moral standard does help keep society in check.
that being said, from a therapeutic standpoint, however, judging someone who comes on... (read in full...)
How do I get out of my prom date to take another girl that is nicer to me?
Q. Hi, I have a senior prom problem. I'm a senior in High School, and there is a girl who I am "best friends" with, who I had feelings for, that I asked to prom, and she said yes. The girl doesn't go to my school, and seeing her is a problem. Lately, ...
A. 21 March 2013: if she sees no problem in blowing you off, i see no problem in you blowing her off. just tell her straight out that you don't wish to take her anymore. tell her that you don't like the way she's treated you. that's IF you can get her to answer the ... (read in full...)
Ex-boyfriend vs. Current Boyfriend
Q. I am so lost on what to do..my ex-boyfriend and I were together for 3 years but closer to the end of our relationship he became distant and barely texted me (a lot had to do with work since he had started a full time job that involved shift work, ...
A. 21 March 2013: it sounds to me like you both are using each other for a rebound, whether you realize it or not. he's not over his ex and clearly you're not over yours. this is no way to carry on a relationship.
you both enjoy being together, but are nostalgi... (read in full...)
He left, and I am desperate to know what to do
Q. So, for the past few months my husband and I have been having alot of problems. He has become very angry, to the point of verbal abuse and in his mind I am his enemy and at least every week he would blow up at me for some thing or another. Really ...
A. 21 March 2013: no, no, no!!! what you did does NOT sound harsh! don't you dare think that! i think you deserve an award for courage. there's so many women on this site who come here and ask for advice about their abusive husbands/boyfriends and they always put up ... (read in full...)
Caught Him in the act. Now what?
Q. About 2 years ago I came home early and found my husband making out with her in my car in the driveway (we have a long country drive) He seemed devastated and vowed to go to therapy and never ever do that again. Found out at counseling it had ...
A. 21 March 2013: i'm sorry to hear you're going through all of this.
he's proven over and over he's not trustworthy. you gave him a chance already. he blew it. how many chances is he going to get and just how long are you going to put yourself through this emo... (read in full...)
He cheated. I told the girl, but she went back to him and he forgot about me.
Q. I Really need help with this one... So I have been doing a long distance relationship with this guy since last january of 2012 I was going to school in vegas and he lives in huntington beach 3 hour drive not bad. We actually saw eachother alot in ...
A. 21 March 2013: you really need to stop worrying about how to get him back. just stop focusing on that and focus on moving on. think about this from an outsiders perspective, not one who is emotionally invested and can't see the big picture.
he lied to you. ove... (read in full...)
Boyfriend kissed a friend who likes him. I know he might let this happen again. What should I do?
Q. I know a lot of people don't believe that kissing someone else is cheating but i do. Anyways, my boyfriend and I have been dating since June 2011, I didn't know at the time we began dating that one of his friends had feelings for him. He told me ...
A. 21 March 2013: are you making a big deal out of nothing? of course not! he lied and cheated on you, sweetheart. and anyone who says kissing someone else isn't cheating is just a whore. lol. sorry, but no gentle way to put that. i don't know anyone who doesn't ... (read in full...)
I'd like a strictly FWB situation, he say's he doesn't want to hurt me. He said he wants to have sex, but doesn't want to hurt me. What does he want?
Q. I started talking to this boy I like who is in one of my university classes. I want to be FWB for now as we are both about to start a new program that is going to last almost two years and will be very busy for a real relationship. I'd love to be ...
A. 21 March 2013: he's basically saying he wants to get you in the sack but he fears you're going to get attached and he doesn't want to be that guy to hurt you.
basically, i just think this guy wants to make sure you're both on the same page. so you need to make ... (read in full...)
Long distance guy is refusing to let me follow him on Twitter or add him on Facebook?!
Q. Going to try and keep things brief. There's a guy im talking to, we are long distance, he lives about 2 hours away. We originally met in person, we have been speaking for 3 months and have not met since but we are planning a visit sometime within ...
A. 21 March 2013: i think you posted on here earlier. the post about how he hates talking on the phone.
whether this guy is just socially odd and hates normal human contact or he's shady and is talking to other girls is neither here nor there at this point, i... (read in full...)
I want this creepy man in my art class to back off, but I don't know how to tell him how. Suggestions?
Q. Hello nice people of this site! I take drawing lessons weekly with a group of people. They are fun and I really enjoy it, but recently a new guy has joined the class and he's the problem. He doesn't talk to me, he doesn't talk to no one a...
A. 21 March 2013: women have this bad habit of not being direct or assertive. we are scared of hurting other people's feelings. but at the cost of what? because now, you're not enjoying yourself and your time in this class. so basically, by not saying or doing ... (read in full...)
I'm uncomfortable with people looking at me
Q. Why do they keep looking at me? I don't understand? So I signed up for the gym a few months ago and diet to help with my self confidence and I've lost a lot weight, toned. Uk size 10 but still curvy with big boobs. I've noticed that the guy...
A. 21 March 2013: sweetheart, this is just men in general. i don't want to say get used to it, but honestly, it'll be the same issue at any other gym you go to. when men see a girl they find attractive, they stare. i don't know why they can't do a better job of ... (read in full...)
He cheated. I told the girl, but she went back to him and he forgot about me.
Q. I Really need help with this one... So I have been doing a long distance relationship with this guy since last january of 2012 I was going to school in vegas and he lives in huntington beach 3 hour drive not bad. We actually saw eachother alot in ...
A. 21 March 2013: wow so this guy sounds like just about every single sorry ex i've ever had.
he's a piece of shit. he played you both and deserves neither of you. but if this girl wants to be with a shit head, she can have him. let her have him. he'll just do ... (read in full...)
I cheated with a married family friend and now feel crushed that he has ended things
Q. I made the bad decision to cheat on my husband but I don't know what makes me feel worse... The fact that I cheated or that the other guy broke it off because he doesn't want to hurt his wife. We are all very close and have been friends for years. ...
A. 20 March 2013: nobody on here can claim perfection. we all slip up and do things we regret. i don't think this makes you a bad person. it makes you human. with that being said, i think it's what you choose to do with this situation that speaks volumes. sure, y... (read in full...)
Is "no contact" really the best way to get over a breakup?
Q. Hi Everyone, I broke up with my boyfriend a couple months ago. I went "no contact" for the first 2 weeks but it was too difficult for me...I missed him so much, to the point of physical pain. Is this typical? We've been talking since then,...
A. 20 March 2013: everyone handles things differently. for me personally, it tends to be easier to go no contact and remove them from facebook, etc, because for me, out of sight out of mind. plus, i found myself obsessively wanting to check facebook to see if anyone ... (read in full...)
Is he playing with my emotions?
Q. I met this guy from a friend of mine a year ago, and I started developing feeling for him. He initiated the first meeting, and took me to the "City" and everything was fine for a couple of dates. One day he started being really obnoxious, telling ...
A. 20 March 2013: honestly, this guy sounds like a complete douchebag. i have no idea what you remotely find attractive about him. he's constantly "testing" you and setting you up to feel like a failure. he's always telling you all the things you've done wrong and ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend found out I lied and he posted naked pics of himself online to retaliate!
Q. Anyone want to give advice on whether I should stay with my bf or not? Here's my story. I hooked up with a guy a couple years ago. We still talk here and there. Current bf asks me if I ever hooked up with him. I lie and say no. A few other ...
A. 20 March 2013: well you did lie to him. so whether you realize it or not, he's got a very legitimate reason to be insecure. if my gf lied to me, i'd lose my trust in her, too.
now, does that justify what he turned around and did in return? hell no. hooking ... (read in full...)
Men: Why is my husband watching porn that involves fat women over 60?
Q. Hi, I'm married woman in my 30s and have a small son. Me and my husband watch porn together, but recently I found out that he is watching a different type of porn when I'm not around, it involves the opposite of me, women that are over 60 and fat. ...
A. 20 March 2013: is it possible he was just watching it for fun? like he thought it was humorous and got a kick out of it? maybe shock value? ... (read in full...)
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