What gives? I have this urge to cheat ...
Q. Hi. I've been with my boyfriend for close to a year about, and I've always felt, or rather, thought about sleeping with other people, but I guess it's normal to entertain the idea even if you're in a relationship, so long as you don't act on it. ...
A. 31 July 2013: I would definitely disagree about it being normal to think about sleeping with other people while in a committed relationship. I've been with my partner almost a year now, and never once have I considered being with someone else. And in my previous ... (read in full...)
If a guy 'likes' a photo of a woman in a bikini, does that mean he likes the woman?
Q. This is likely just me over-thinking things again, but a little input would be lovely anyway :) So, a social media question - I recently put a photo of me in a bikini at the beach on Facebook (which I found tremendously difficult to do. I've had...
A. 31 July 2013: I think you're overthinking things. People like photos on Facebook all the time. If I liked a picture of a girl in a bikini it was probably because I just thought she was hot. But I wouldn't have put any more thought into it than that.... (read in full...)
My friend is trying to get pregnant on purpose. Her b/f doesn't have a clue..do I tell him?
Q. My friends from school (lets call them sarah and matt to make it easier) have been with eachother for 9 years and from what I can see, their relationship is on the rocks. ? sarah confided in me last night that she has stopped taking her ...
A. 30 July 2013: what about telling your friend sarah that you're contemplating telling matt if she doesn't stop doing that? but that if she stops, you'll never speak a word of it ever again, like it never happened. that way, you're not actually betraying her trust. ... (read in full...)
My friend is trying to get pregnant on purpose. Her b/f doesn't have a clue..do I tell him?
Q. My friends from school (lets call them sarah and matt to make it easier) have been with eachother for 9 years and from what I can see, their relationship is on the rocks. ? sarah confided in me last night that she has stopped taking her ...
A. 30 July 2013: that's a really sticky situation. your friend IS being extremely irresponsible, you're absolutely right. you told her the truth - that what she's doing is unfair to matt and to the potential child. and not only that, but to herself. because having a ... (read in full...)
I dreamt about kissing another man and now I feel guilty
Q. Hey everyone, I am in a relationship with my boyfriend for 3 months now,and just last night both of us had a bad dream he was telling me his,and I was reluctant to tell mine,but he made me.. I dreamt that I made out with another guy(a guy we bot...
A. 29 July 2013: you say that you feel guilty. Usually what this dream means or signifies actually has nothing to do with cheating or desire to be with another person. It's basically trying to convey that you are feeling a sense of guilt over something in your ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend got angry with me and wants to break up because I didn't accompany her in to Starbucks, I'm considering giving her what she wants
Q. Story: We have being dating for just 3 years. We are both each other's first gf and bf. I am 28. She's 27. We are both Asians. I went to my gf's place to pick her and her sister up to attend their parents' event about 1.5 hrs away. They wante...
A. 29 July 2013: bless your heart. i feel bad for you. i'm not gonna lie, i can't believe your girlfriend behaved like that over not walking into starbucks with her. but then again, i can believe it, based on how it sounds like she seems to think you are her ... (read in full...)
I met a guy on Facebook, we spoke and he seemed really interested, now he seems to have gone cold
Q. I met a guy in Facebook two weeks ago. I sent him a friend request and he accepted me. he sent me a message after he accepted my request." Hello I just want to say hi you are beautiful" and I responded to him saying hi and we kept chatting. after we ...
A. 29 July 2013: sweetheart, take it easy and relax. you say you want to be loved, but you don't even know this guy yet. you're coming across rather needy and that right there, will make him run for the hills immediately. stop rushing things and enjoy getting to ... (read in full...)
He seems interested in me and I'd be happy to have a platonicc relationship but I'm attached
Q. A senior from my school recently started talking to me on facebook. He's really good-looking, the tall,dark, handsome mould actually. We were talking for about two days when he asked me out. I'm actually fine if things between us were platonic, but ...
A. 29 July 2013: yeah, he's interested in you. and he's hoping that you'll change your mind if he keeps pursuing you. he's not interested in being your friend.... (read in full...)
I told my girlfriend's friend she was hot, and now there is friction between them
Q. Dear cupid, Just eight days ago , I said to my girlfriend's close friend , in front of her, that "Oh my God, you are one hell of a hot girl." . Her friend just smiled whereas my girlfriend said "Enough" . Ever since that happened, my girlfrie...
A. 29 July 2013: really man? i can't bring myself to believe you are actually so naive as to think it's normal to tell your girlfriend's friend that she's really hot. i don't care where you're from or who you are. that's not cool and that's not okay. i'd be super ... (read in full...)
Need Advice to get my best male friend back!!
Q. I need help, I'm confused and hurt! I'm a 29 year old female with two kids that just now file for a divorce, before our divorce I always call my childhood friend (married man now) for advice cause he's always good at that, he's the type of friend y...
A. 28 July 2013: unfortunately sweetie, there's not a thing you can do about this. his wife is absolutely crazy and domineering and controlling his life. and he's allowing it to happen out of fear of losing his kids. at this point, despite caring about you and ... (read in full...)
Considered cheating?? Deserve another chance?
Q. First and foremost, I please ask you not to judge. I am totally aware snooping is unacceptable, however, when one feels that something is going on... there is sometimes no other option. And please bear with me, the conversation/timeline of events is ...
A. 25 July 2013: you're boyfriend is being shady and pursuing this girl and she keeps rejecting him. that's my perspective. i'd dump him asap.... (read in full...)
Is my personal view on sex & relationships so mean or hurtful to others that they have ridicule & ostracize me?
Q. This is long, my apologies. Hello everyone. I'm almost 21 years old college student who has been alone mostly all of her life. I have never had a boyfriend or never been kissed. Yes, I am still a virgin. I am not an affectionate female. My space is...
A. 25 July 2013: you say you don't really understad why peole pass judgment and how you don't pass judgment on them. however, you stated you don't let people close to you who you know have had sex because they disgust you and you view them as dirty and unsanitary. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend broke up with me for not having sex with him
Q. I am 21 years old and in college studying to be a registered nurse,recently I met a guy, he's very attractive and he asked me for my number, he texted me the same day asking me to come to his house.i told him no because it seems like he wanted sex ...
A. 25 July 2013: Wow, this guy's a serious douchebag. Don't dream of sleeping with him. Props to you for maintaining your virginity and definitely hold out til you meet a guy who doesn't give you ultimatums about sex. That's seriously uncool and very manipulative. ... (read in full...)
Why does my friend go weeks without speaking to me? Should I stop talking to her?
Q. Why does my friend behave this way? Should I reply back to her? So my friend went on holiday and I asked her to get me some make up from there. Is cheaper where she went. I was on the phone to her the day before she left and was textin...
A. 24 July 2013: Sorry, meant to say I'm sure she got busy and had other things to do* not got off coupon. Darn phone. ... (read in full...)
Why does my friend go weeks without speaking to me? Should I stop talking to her?
Q. Why does my friend behave this way? Should I reply back to her? So my friend went on holiday and I asked her to get me some make up from there. Is cheaper where she went. I was on the phone to her the day before she left and was textin...
A. 24 July 2013: why wouldn't you speak to her?I'm pretty sure that's normal for friends. My friends and I go days or weeks without speaking all the time. Doesn't mean that we aren't friends anymore. It just means that we are busy or have things going on. After all ... (read in full...)
She's been acting her age and it's getting on my nerves
Q. ive been with my girlfriend just over a month now, shes 17 and im 20 shell be 18 in december. we were friends before we got together and everythings been great. shes my first ever girlfriend and its been great but now im having thoughts of leaving ...
A. 22 July 2013: i disagree. exes can absolutely be friends. i have a few of my absolutely very best friends who are my exes. and there is absolutely NO sexual attraction or chemistry between us at all. and my gf is friends with a few of her exes, as well. doesn't ... (read in full...)
Committed relationship, but things have run their course ...
Q. Hi everyone, would really appreciate any advice you have to offer! Me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 and a half years, everything was amazing at first, but now i feel like things have taken its natural course! I feel like weve bee...
A. 22 July 2013: as a side thought: sometimes we get caught up in this feeling of newness and excitement and then we start to lose the spark and interest in our current relationship. was your interest in your current boyfriend really minimal before you met this new ... (read in full...)
Committed relationship, but things have run their course ...
Q. Hi everyone, would really appreciate any advice you have to offer! Me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 and a half years, everything was amazing at first, but now i feel like things have taken its natural course! I feel like weve bee...
A. 22 July 2013: i'm going to take a different perspective on this. i believe that long term committed relationships take time and effort. like after using a knife for long periods of time, it needs the proper maintainance to sharpen it to keep it working properly. ... (read in full...)
I treat her like a princess, things seemed to be going well, so why does she say I'm pushing her away?
Q. Firstly, thanks for the advice. I am not sure what to think so i guess it's always good to get an outside opinion. I have been on a few dates with a girl whom i met at a party a few weeks ago. I am 24 and she is 20. I have a good job and have had...
A. 22 July 2013: do yourself a favor and run far, far away. this girl has serious problems and it's revealing itself from the start. you've done nothing, and i mean NOTHING wrong. you've been a perfect gentleman. everything a normal, decent girl would dream of. she ... (read in full...)
Played or too clingy?
Q. Am I just being played or am I clingy . Right I met this girl at work a month and half ago, she was new.. we got chatting on email and she seemed keen to meet up, she wanted to go a rave I was going to, I invited her but said we should go on a d...
A. 19 July 2013: Sounds like she's playing. I wouldn't waste my time. I can't stand a flake. ... (read in full...)
I came on to my female boss while drunk. She was sober and didn't stop me! Now what?
Q. I'm a 19 year old lesbian and I've been attracted to my 56 year old boss for nearly 2 years now. She's married and has 3 grown children, her family is a church-going Christian family, and she'd made it clear that she doesn't agree with my "lifestyle ...
A. 19 July 2013: I'm going to take a different stance on this situation. I won't say 99% of people who "oppose" homosexuality, for a lack of better terminology, are gay. But the serious homophobes - I'm talking the serious gay bashing and hating type - typically ... (read in full...)
I think I'm gay, but people can't just turn gay over the years, can they?
Q. Dear agony aunts, I think I'm gay, I'm 23 and for years I have been having gay thoughts and fantasies which arouses me and sometimes I can't help but mastubate to them but then I feel wrong somehow. I used to have a few girlfriends when I was ...
A. 18 July 2013: people don't really just turn gay over the years. rather, they just become more and more self-aware.
for me, i dated men my whole life until i turned 18. i always had crushes on girls, but wasn't aware of what exactly i was feeling. i just ass... (read in full...)
How do I handle my matron-of-honor duties at my sister's wedding? I'm on bed rest for my pregnancy!
Q. My sister is getting married this weekend. I am the matron of honor and therefore would have to give a speech. I am on strict bed rest for my pregnancy and can only attend the ceremony as it isn't long. Should I have one of the other bridesmaids ...
A. 17 July 2013: can you somehow record your speech and have someone play it? just a suggestion.... (read in full...)
Is there ever love again after you lose your soulmate?
Q. Hi everyone :) My boyfriend and I have just broken up, well, he broke up with me something like 6 days ago. Now he's in NYC and he's coming back next week. He broke up with me because he told me that he didn't love me anymore, and he also told me ...
A. 13 July 2013: i think that you are just feeling like most people feel after a true heart break. but the thing is, sweetie, if he was really your soul mate, one of two things will happen.
1.) you two will get back together in time, because it is destiny,... (read in full...)
I'm not her type, but she went on a date with me?
Q. Hey everyone! I recently went on a date with this girl, who I've been pursuing for like 6 weeks. She and I have an extraordinary amount in common, from musical taste, sense of humor, race and even religion - the main reason behind me being so a...
A. 13 July 2013: it does sound like she likes you. i think what she meant by that statement about you not being her usual type is just simply that you're different than what she's used to. but that doesn't mean it's a bad thing. i think, in fact, that it could be a ... (read in full...)
For the men who use porn, why don't you think of your girlfriend when masturbating?
Q. I'm not sure if this has been asked before but here goes those men who use porn when they have a girlfriend, why don't you think of your girlfriend when masturbating? Surely you find them the most attractive so what's it all about, we need this ...
A. 12 July 2013: well i'm a girl in a relationship with another girl. and i'll be the first to admit that i watch porn from time to time if i haven't seen my gf in a while. she does the same. doesn't bother me any and i know it doesn't bother her. it's just ... (read in full...)
What is it supposed to mean when my ex ended the mail with "love"?
Q. I had a few posts about my ex here and I really do appreciate the advice I got. This is my last post. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/do-dumpers-always-remember-the-bad-memories-after.html I think of my ex sometimes and am trying to move on. So j...
A. 12 July 2013: love is just the way we end a letter/email. it's like saying "sincerely" or "hope all is well." i wouldn't read into this at all.... (read in full...)
Why do I care what my terrible ex does?
Q. my ex boyfriend was horrible and a complete psycho who.locked me in rooms and constantly accused me of cheating. He was mean and a little bit horrible about my children. I split up with him and I dont understand why I look at his facebook account, ...
A. 12 July 2013: simple solution: block him from your facebook account. that way, you can't look. that's what i always do after break ups because i'm like you, and drive myself insane by constantly looking and seeing what they're up to.
i doubt she's seen his craz... (read in full...)
Can a married man love his wife and mistress at the same time?
Q. Can a married man love his wife and mistress at the same time?...
A. 12 July 2013: in my opinion, no. it's just being selfish; dividing your love between two people and dragging them BOTH along - while love, by definition, to me, means being selfless. quite the opposite. for me, love, in the relationship sense, means complete and ... (read in full...)
He just doesn't understand what I'm going through.
Q. Hello, Me and my boyfriend were together for nearly two years. We broke up for about a month and are now thinking of giving it another go. I found out a few days ago that he has been sleeping with another girl since we broke up. It broke my h...
A. 12 July 2013: hi there. i know this isn't what you want to hear, but he's right - what he does when you two aren't together really isn't your business.
you're right, men and women can be different. but it's not always a man vs. woman thing. i, myself, tend to ... (read in full...)
Demanding Sister Wants Gift for her Kid
Q. Last year my niece turned three years olf. She had an amazing birthday party with lots of family and gifts. My sister just confessed that she was upset with the fact I did not get her than 3 year old a gift. My niece is turning four soon and my ...
A. 3 July 2013: it is rude and selfish. i can't imagine demanding someone buy me or my non-existent kid a gift. i'm not a materialistic person, though, so those things don't ever matter to me so i never understand when they matter to others, either.
but you shou... (read in full...)
I say he is the most disloyal man ever and he says he is just being honest about his emotions. What do I do?
Q. I am so sad and tired. My boyfriend of 6 years has become completely disloyal to me. One example, We auditioned for a play together recently and I was disappointed that I did not make callbacks and therefore would not be getting a speaking part in ...
A. 3 July 2013: yeah. i'd pick up my luggage and go. sounds like the apple didn't fall too far from the tree and his daughter is rude and tactless just like him. i'd haul ass.
i'm sorry you're dealing with all of this.... (read in full...)
I didn't realize what I had until it was gone
Q. Hi All, Hope someone can give me some advice. I was with my live in boyfriend for a year and a half. For the most part it was wonderful (we were inseparable) but when we got in arguments they were intense and I would find myself saying mean thin...
A. 3 July 2013: honestly, even though it's not what you want to hear, if i were in his shoes, i'd probably feel a sense of relief being away from the verbal abuse. he may wind up missing you and want to come back, but it truthfully sounds like the more he's away ... (read in full...)
Ex has made breaking up harder than usual. How do I move on now?
Q. Me and my ex broke up about a month ago and its been very hard. We broke due to him cheating on me, and it came as a huge shock and throughout it all he blamed me for it. He had cheated on me in the past but after he did the...
A. 3 July 2013: You've done all the right things, sweetheart. You've blocked him and deleted him and ignore him when you see him. Those are all the right steps. Now just play the waiting game. Time will heal you. It always does. If you check back in a year from now ... (read in full...)
Just left an abusive relationship; will love ever feel good?
Q. About 18 months ago, I was in a vulnerable place, struggling to recover from some severe depression and anxiety issues which had landed me in the hospital for a bit. I was lonely, and desperately wanted to know what love really felt like; I wanted ...
A. 3 July 2013: I don't think he's saying it's mostly painful. Rather, just that long-term love DOES take a LOT of work. And since you're new to relationships, he was just giving some heads up as to what to expect.
I had a five year relationship end years ag... (read in full...)
My new fiancé is reluctant for me to visit my late husband's parents.
Q. I am widowed and have become engaged. My fiancé and I took a short trip over the weekend. My late husband's sister called me on my cell to let me know that her dad (my father-in-law) had two strokes and that he was in the hospital. We ...
A. 3 July 2013: I would want to go out of respect and I'd want my partner to go with me just for the sake of comfort.
He does have the right to say he doesn't want to go, however, it seems a bit selfish. But you absolutely have every right to be there if you c... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has a strange issue with food?
Q. This is probably a rather weird question, but I was at a BBQ with my girlfriend, and the food was being served to us. Someone handed her a plate, and it had a small amount of corn on it. She freaked out, refused to look at it, and asked me to remove ...
A. 3 July 2013: i must say, that is extremely bizarre. i would be a little confused, too.
she won't tell you what her issue with corn is?
i guess i would just assume something tragic happened while corn was present, lol. it is really weird, but i would just... (read in full...)
Four years of dating and he just dumped me! No explanation!
Q. My ex and I were together for four years. We were very serious camouflage our relationship. However,he dumped me three months ago. I don't even know why. I asked for closure yet he gave me nothing. He never contacted me after we broke up. I've been ...
A. 3 July 2013: i'm so sorry for what you're going through. not having closure is a terrible thing. i have been there myself. after four years, i can't imagine doing that to someone. he owed you an explanation. it would have been the decent thing to do.
it's ... (read in full...)
Why are all of these girls bumping into me?
Q. I have a while ago come off a diet where I lost a lot of weight. Until then I had been very obese since childhood and never seemed to attract the opposite sex. However, now it is looking like that has changed and since my weight loss, I am finding ...
A. 3 July 2013: i have never heard of this as a female tactic, but hey, i could just be out of the loop.
... (read in full...)
Just left an abusive relationship; will love ever feel good?
Q. About 18 months ago, I was in a vulnerable place, struggling to recover from some severe depression and anxiety issues which had landed me in the hospital for a bit. I was lonely, and desperately wanted to know what love really felt like; I wanted ...
A. 3 July 2013: Wow I am so very sorry to hear about your experience. She sounds like she us the dom in the S&M relationship. Thing is, in those relationships, BOTH parties are willing and consenting. Wow, just wow. She put buggers in your mouth??? Jesus!
I don... (read in full...)
Surely I'm worth an Engagement Ring.. Aren't I??
Q. I am going through such an emotional roller coaster right now, I am desperate for unbiased advise. My boyfriend and I have been together for going on 6 years. We long distance dating at the beginning but after about 6months I moved to be with him...
A. 2 July 2013: I, myself, wouldn't care much about the ring. Yes it would be nice and thoughtful .. but the main thing I would be worried about, ring completely aside, is whether or not he will marry you. You say he says he will go to the courthouse and make it ... (read in full...)
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