A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I knew my boyfriend was on online chats. He always denied it, but I know it was him.Last weekend, he found out that some friends had been talking about him behind his back (because of some lies he got caught on). He is very ashamed/hurt/whatever, so he doesn't leave his house. He is gone for a week now. He likes people's pictures on facebook but doesn't answer my concerned chat messages.So, he is distant, cold, mean! Commenting suggestive things on girl's pictures.I am so.. confused.We don't have sex in months, every time he promises me that we'll go on a alone date, we always end up finding friends and we just stay with them - so no alone time for months!So I thought "Hey, let's see what all the fuzz is about those chats!"Aaand 4 hours later here I am talking a bunch of explicit sexual crap to this guy I don't even know. Talking about getting together and having crazy sex (which I'll never do, tho I really want to!)I'm cheating on him! I mean, I am SO lacking the emotional and physical contact, but that's no excuse. I just want to feel that somebody wants me..Is it normal to look for.. intimacy on a sexual online chat?What can I do? Should I tell him?
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female
reader, llifton  +, writes (6 May 2013):
 hi there.
doesn't sound like your relationship with your boyfriend is going too well. i can't blame you for feeling lonely and as though you are lacking intimacy and closeness. if i were in your shoes, i'd be feeling the same way!
have you been direct about communicating how you have been feeling? if not, then i suggest it.
if you have and he's still not listening, than i would probably end the relationship. because after all, it doesn't sound like too much of a relationship anyway, if i speak openly and honestly.
use this situation as a learning experience. you now realize there is a clear problem in your relationship. so now it's up to you to decide where you go from here. either you fix your problems or you part ways. but don't get in the habit of doing what you did behind his back. that will only hurt you and him in the long run.
good luck.
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