A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:hi i'm 16 year old boy and I i've been such an idiot..... I liked this girl and when I eventually asked her out she said that she wasn't sure if she liked me. then her mate says to me that she likes someone else and that she doesn't like me. the girl i like then doesn't say anything, then i notice that she puts on facebook that she in a relationship and then posts a picture of her with this boy with the caption of "love him". i then stupidly just presume that she likes this other boy and doesn't like me. my best mate then tells me just to move on, as i been in that situation before where girls like someone else and not me. my experience is that you should just move on. the next week i then get a text from her saying that she's sorry and that she wants to be friends. at that point I'm thinking that's good she still wants to be friends, then a few days later she tells me to ask her out. i was quite surprised and i had a bit of doubt that she actually liked me after what i'd seen. so i asked her about it and she said she told the boy she sort of liked that she liked me more. i believed her and then asked her out and then she said yes obviously, and we were going out. i tell my best friend everything and i tell him at what happened, then he told me to dump her because all she's done is used me because she's been rejected by the other boy and knows i liked her so just went back to me. i very stupidly take his advice and dump he without even talking to her. in addition to that i cancelled us meeting up the morning before she'd arranged for me to go round her house when we was going out and i dumped her by text. i didn't realise at the time but when i dumped her she was in hospital as her dad wasn't very well and had been rushed to hospital! this obviously made her hate me, but she then wanted to know why i dumped her and once i told her everything, she said she still liked me and i suggested that we meet up and try to fix things. the other day i did meet up with her and we talked and i realised what a massive mistake i made! apparently her friend her facebook login info so must of changed the girl i like's relationship satus and put the pic on there. i suddenly realise that i've made a massive mistake and that by listening to my mate's advice instead of actually talking to her, i'd hurt her a tremendous amount! how do i fix this situation? when we met up she said she just wants to move on and be friends for now instead of rushing into a relationship like last time because it didn't work before and maybe go into a relationship when everything has cooled down. how do i show her that i do actually love her and that i deserve a second chance and that i can be a good boyfriend? I told her that i won't listen to my mate anymore about relationship advice and i even told her that i hadn't been in a proper relationship before. she just said that it would of been alright if i'd of just talked to her about it.
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best friend, facebook, move on, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni don't know if this makes a difference but i forgot to mention she's 2 years younger than me and when we spoke she did answer instantly, and i believe her just because the pic that she supposedly put on facebook was her with her mates' cousin. so it is believable that her friend could of done that to warn me off, since it was her cousin in the pic with the girl i like.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (30 May 2013):
 Eh yes, I agree with the previous poster. Your mate gave you a good advice and you should follow it , instead. It sounds to me as he saw exacly through her, and she did just what your friend accuses her of. She tried her luck with the other guy, he rejected her and she came to you as her fall back guy, feeding you a lot of poorly believable lines. She is telling you what you long to hear, and you believe her because you want so bad to believe her, not because what she says is probable. It's unfortunate that the dumping text reached her when she was at the hospital with her dad ( IF this is true )- but, other than that, she sounds like she has been sly and giving you the runaround .
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A
male
reader, Serpico  +, writes (30 May 2013):
You can show her how good of a bf you are by going out and being one to someone else.
This gal is trying to manipulate you. Move on.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (30 May 2013):
 this girl is playing you. your friend is right. stop questioning him and being upset with him for giving you good advice. he's just looking out for you and seems pretty wise for his age.
drop this girl. she's nothing but trouble and drama. she is lying to you about the facebook thing. she was seeing another guy and he probably did drop her. then she probably came running to you as a back up. let it go, my friend. and don't stop going to your friend for advice. he's a smart guy.
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A
male
reader, playitagain-sam +, writes (30 May 2013):
Since you already talked with her and she denied you another chance at dating, I'm not sure what you can do.
Maybe she needs a little time, and sounds like her situation with her father may be causing some stress in her life too. Keep in touch with her, be there when she needs someone to talk to, and don't pressure her to date again. Pursue other girls you're interested in (not to make her jealousy, although that may happen).
Perhaps in a few weeks or months she'll change her mind, maybe not. But there is no point in waiting around, go practice dating with other people.
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