A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Yikes! I've got a bit of a small problem, but it's still causing me some issues. My girlfriend snores really loudly. It makes it almost impossible for me to sleep. I toss and turn. It's not pleasant, and is getting to the point where I don't want her to stay over because while I love being next to her, I know I won't get any sleep. I would normally just communicate such a minor problem to her so we could easily talk it out. But I'm afraid of hurting her feelings on this one. She's sensitive and I feel like if I tell her she keeps me awake with her snoring, she'll feel awful and embarrassed and won't want to spend the night again for fear of snoring again. Help! What do I do? I want to be able to sleep next to her comfortably, but don't know how to approach this. I love her to bits. Thanks in advance. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 February 2013):
 Abella is 100% correct... if she is snoring so loudly she may have sleep apnea which can be life threatening.
I snore. so does my hubby... thankfully I'm a deep sleeper and when he comes to bed if i'm snoring (only when on my back apparently) he just makes me roll over... most of the time I don't recall it... he tells me in the morning "you were snoring)... yes it's embarrassing to be a lady who snores....
but you should tell her...
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (23 February 2013):
 Earplugs. You can also flip her over on the side. All of my boyfriends have snored. I can't seem to catch a break on that one. And I'm a VERY light sleeper. But I'm also a very grumpy person when someone wakes me up in the middle of the night, so I don't simply lay there and endure, I speak my mind "you snore, roll over on the side". Or I push the person so they will roll over.If it's really bad I read a good tip. Sew a pocket on the back of the pajamas and place a tennis ball in the pocket. That way the person will continue to sleep on the side during the night. And this isn't really a problem to talk about, it's not like you're insulting her. It's a matter of fact. She snores, and it keeps you awake. Do what needs to be done. If she's so sensitive she gets hurt by everything you ever say then she needs to grow a thicker skin. Sheltering her from anything that might upset her will just make her even more sensitive. She needs to learn how to deal with problems as well, or else you wont have a future with her. But I will say, there's not much to be done. You can't make her stop snoring, and she can't make herself stop snoring. All you can do is wear earplugs and roll her over on the side. Or sleep in separate rooms, or get used to the snoring.
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A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (23 February 2013):
Dear OP,Yes, it's a sensitive topic and of course, no woman on this earth will want to hear she snores. However, it's better you talk to her about it.Like always: What you don't talk about becomes a bigger problem over time. If you're not honest about this, you will one day start to find excuses why you can't stay over.. etc.. causing the problem to grow and grow and her not knowing what's really going on.Sure, it won't be a pleasant moment for her to hear this from you, but it will make a better future possible, so do it.Maybe she doesn't snore as bad if she lies on the side. Or if she wears one of these nasal strips. Or maybe the doctor can tell why she snores and find a solution. I snore and I know, because I've been told by various people :/ . Of course I don't like that and I find it embarrassing, but I know that when people turn me to the side, the snoring goes away. So I am upfront about it and give everyone who has a pijama party with me the permission to wake me and turn me to the side if I am snoring. Problem solved :)
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (23 February 2013):
 People think snoring is only a problem because of the noise. But it can become much more serious than that. It really can become a health problem.
The snoring by your girlfriend sounds really serious.
Read up about "sleep apnoea" and then gently raise the issue with your girl friend as a health issue because you care.
Sleep apnoea can mean that your girlfriend is also not getting a proper sleep each night (even though she is snoring) as multiple times during the night her breathing is interrupted. This is serious.
Encourage her to visit the Doctor and then get a "Sleep Study" test done. It will usually mean an overnight stay while she is monitored.
Then if the Doctor determines that she has serious enough sleep apnoea she may require the use of a CPAP machine. Many people of all ages need these to help them (and their partner) to get a good night's sleep.
There are very quiet machines that are autoset.
My guy used to snore and thankfully his problem was not serious enough to use the CPAP machine.
His Doctor just spelt out how much trouble he would be in if he did get sleep apnoea. And I just encouraged my guy to stop eating unhealthy things. He lost ten pounds and now he does not snore anymore.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2013): You don't need to tell her that her snoring keeps you awake at night, if you're uncomfortable saying so, but you do need to talk to her about it. Snoring can be a symptom of sleep apnea. Even if it's just an annoyance, there are ways to lessen the sound. Your gf needs to see a doctor to determine whether she has apnea or not.
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