A
female
age
36-40,
*ickee
writes:So the guy that I've been dating for 3 years.. has done the disappearing act.. No contact or communication whatsoever..lately.. There was no arguments nothing of that nature.. I feel like he's either one of two things.. Has a fear of taking our relationship to the next level.. Because we both love eachother.. Or he might be interested in someone else.. I'm totally confused and hurt.. Can anyone put their inputs on their own personal experiences with guys who suddenly disappear out the blue.. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2013): i just went through something similar. i hate to be the bearer of bad news but it could be over. my boyfriend and i were together for a little over 2 years then a month ago he started acting distant, not calling, less affectionate, etc. he finally ended things with me saying he doesnt want to be in a relationship anymore. this was the same guy who only a few months prior wanted marriage and a future with me.
i would say just try to prepare yourself in case its the end. keep busy focus on yourself. then try to talk to him after you've given him space.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (25 February 2013):
 if you know he's ok
and he just fell off the face of the earth
well it's over
and the way he did it stinks and it's wrong
The only thing I can say of comfort is that this is not a reflection on you....
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A
female
reader, Childaskme +, writes (24 February 2013):
Well he could be married. Most secretly married men disappear. You should read this kindle book, "I Refuse To Be A Mistress" its free and has excellent step by step to find out if you're with a married man. I had a guy like this once and he turned out to be married and a crazy wife stalking me.
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A
female
reader, Nickee +, writes (24 February 2013):
Nickee is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes I have tried contacting him. He is not injured because he posts things on Facebook and make comments I feel like he's ignoring me
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (24 February 2013):
 When you tried contacting him, what happened? As in, did the phone ring? Did he hang up? Do you know he's got the messages you've left?
I'd be concerned enough to contact his family/ friends. A three week absence during a 3 year relationship is very odd.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (24 February 2013):
do you know that he is actually ok?
is it possible that he was injured and no one knew to tell you?
that is odd....
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 February 2013):
 How long since you last talked to him? Have you tried calling? Have you tried his work? His house?
If you two have been together 3 years this is really iffy behavior.
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A
female
reader, Atsweet1 +, writes (24 February 2013):
 So you mean to tell me cause they haven't contacted you you have not contacted the missing person. Go figure thats probably why there missing in action so to speak. You appear to only care or mind that they contact you this is a sign why they may not want to be the one contacting only. What kind of communication is this appears to be one sided so no wonder nobody is concerned lately.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (24 February 2013):
 My Dad always told me; "When someone isn't talking to you, DON'T INTERRUPT THEM!!!"
That applies here, as well....
If he's disappeared, let him STAY disappeared.
Good luck.....
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A
female
reader, R1 +, writes (24 February 2013):
 too scared to end it with you properly so he's taken the cowards way out? hope not, let us know...
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A
female
reader, Nickee +, writes (24 February 2013):
Nickee is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt's been almost 3 weeks.. And yes I've tried contacting him but he never responds.. I feel like I'm in the loop..
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (24 February 2013):
 Haha, well I had this happen to me on a couple of occasions. The first time it happened the guy had just taken off with some friends to another city. Didn't tell me. Forgot to bring the cell-phone charger. Came back a week later and rang my doorbell and was all "hi, what's up? :) " As if nothing at all was wrong. I just had to laugh it off. But that wasn't a real serious relationship anyway.
The other time it happened my boyfriend also took off to another city, and didn't tell me. I don't know what it is, but a guy just doesn't see the logic in informing his girlfriend about things like this? I really don't know why they have such a hard time understanding such a, at least to me, simple concept. But anyway, he didn't do it against me, or to me, or to harm me, or on purpose. He just didn't think that far! It didn't occur to him that I might want to talk to him or meet him during his days away...
And then at other times he just left his phone somewhere and didn't know where it was. And again, just didn't think that I might want to talk to him or get a hold of him. It seems, a mans logic is very different from a womans logic.
So I say, until you hear from him and hear why he went disappearing.. don't jump to any conclusions. He probably just went for a random trip with his friends and forgot the phone.
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